Au Pairing Up! How to Maximize the Rewards and Minimize the Learning Curves of America's Best Childcare Solution

by Liebermann, Ruth K.

• ISBN13: 9780918321664
• ISBN10: 0918321662
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2001-08-17
• Publisher: Musical I Press

Summary

Choosing the proper au pair can be a daunting task. Ruth Liebermann simplifies it with the Au Pairing Up method, a process that helps a family determine the kind of au pair needed, prepare for the au pair in advance, and explain the family’s needs while being sensitive to those of the caregiver. Also included are charts, calendars, and a customizable operating manual. The CDROM includes customizable forms.

Table of Contents

Why I Wrote This Book	8	(1)
Benefits of ``The Au Pair Solution™''	9	(1)
How to Use This ``Au Pairing Up™'' Method	9	(1)
About the CD-ROM	10	(1)
What is a Standard Operating Procedure Manual (the SOP)?	10	(1)
Other Charts and Forms: Paper and/or CD-ROM Versions	10	(2)
PART ONE: Au Pairing Up™	12	(6)
What IS an Au Pair?	12	(1)
What an Au Pair is NOT!	12	(1)
Comments from Families and Au Pairs	13	(1)
The Au Pair Solution	14	(1)
Au Pair Issues	14	(2)
Communication Issues	15	(1)
Privacy Issues	15	(1)
Control Issues	15	(1)
If You're a Couple	16	(1)
Your Family Style	16	(1)
The Golden Rules of Thumb	17	(1)
Golden Rule #1: Everyone---adults, kids, and the au pair---should work as hard as possible to make it work	17	(1)
Golden Rule #2: Deal with things as they arise	17	(1)
PART TWO: The Application Process	18	(19)
The National Organizations	18	(1)
Unaccredited Organizations/Unauthorized Au Pairs	19	(1)
Smaller Organizations and U.S. Born Au Pairs	19	(1)
Size and Structure of Organizations	19	(1)
Where the Au Pairs Come From	20	(1)
``Au Pair Speak'': Some Definitions	20	(2)
What to Look For	21	(1)
Local Support	21	(1)
Your Family's Au Pair ``Spec''	22	(1)
Considering Your Family's Needs	22	(1)
Define Your Family's ``Au Pair Spec''	22	(1)
Host Family---Developing Your Au Pair Spec	23	(9)
Gender	23	(1)
Age of Ideal Candidate	23	(1)
Candidate's Family	24	(1)
Region of Origin	25	(2)
Religion	27	(1)
Ages of Your Children	27	(1)
Driving Experience	28	(1)
Interests	28	(1)
Some Thoughts on Personality	29	(1)
Spec Letter to Agency (Liebermann)	30	(1)
Generic Agency Spec Letter	31	(1)
Your Host Family Application	32	(1)
The Liebermann Family Essay	32	(5)
Host Family Confidential Reference	36	(1)
Visit from the Local Coordinator	36	(1)
PART THREE: Choosing an Applicant	37	(7)
Reading Your Au Pair Applications	37	(3)
Other Perspectives: Get a Second Opinion	38	(1)
Tough Questions	38	(1)
It's Your Choice	39	(1)
Requesting Additional Candidates	39	(1)
Exclusivity Time Window	40	(1)
Phone Interviews	40	(3)
First Phone Call	40	(1)
Clarify Your Family Circumstances	41	(1)
Second Phone Call	41	(1)
Third Phone Call	42	(1)
Are You Feeling Comfortable with the Candidate?	42	(1)
About Taping the Interview	42	(1)
Talking to the Parents	42	(1)
Making the Selection	43	(1)
PART FOUR: Preparing for Your Au Pair	44	(6)
The Prearrival Preparation Process	44	(1)
Keep in Touch with the Candidate	44	(1)
Opportunities for Your Au Pair	44	(1)
Prescheduling Issues	44	(1)
Getting the Au Pair Home	44	(1)
Preparation: Your Children	45	(1)
Preparation: Important Outsiders	45	(1)
Arrival Announcement	45	(1)
Preparation: More Things for You to Do	46	(1)
Automobile Policy	46	(2)
Getting Around: Maps and Directions	48	(1)
Au Pair Overlap	48	(1)
Post-Arrival Checklist	49	(1)
PART FIVE: The ``Standard Operating Procedure'' Manual, or ``SOP''	50	(39)
``Franchising'' Your Au Pair	50	(1)
The Liebermann SOP, the SOP Template, and Your SOP	50	(1)
Instructions/Format of the SOP Templates on the CD-ROM	50	(1)
Customization Issues	51	(1)
If You Don't Have a Computer	51	(1)
What's in the SOP?	51	(4)
General	51	(1)
About Each Child	52	(1)
School and After School	52	(1)
House Matters	53	(1)
Driving in the Car	54	(1)
Personal: On Your Own	54	(1)
Summary	54	(1)
Revising Your SOP	55	(1)
The Standard Operating Procedure Template	55	(1)
The Introduction	56	(1)
The (your family) Welcomes (au pair) to (your street or town)!	56	(1)
The Top Three Priorities in our Home	56	(1)
Goals for the Children	57	(1)
Your Relationship with the Children	57	(1)
Showing Affection	57	(1)
Touching/Physical	58	(1)
Discipline	58	(2)
Being Consistent on Discipline	58	(1)
Keeping Current on Requests, and Your Best Answer	59	(1)
Types of Discipline---Physical Discipline?	59	(1)
If Physical Discipline Is Acceptable	59	(1)
Nonphysical Discipline Methods	60	(1)
When the Child/Children Ask for Something	60	(1)
When you're not sure, ask us!	60	(1)
Common Sense/Politeness	60	(1)
Taking Risks	60	(2)
Driving Risks	61	(1)
Leaving the Child/Children Alone	61	(1)
When to Call Parents	62	(1)
In an Emergency or Serious Situation	62	(1)
If It Is Not Serious or an Emergency	62	(1)
General Information (Schedule)	62	(1)
Mornings	62	(1)
Evenings	63	(1)
Other Repeated Chores	63	(1)
About Each (Child)	63	(1)
Safety First!!!	64	(1)
Special Concerns	64	(1)
Specific Safety Issues	64	(1)
Interests Outside of School	64	(1)
School, Dress, and Sports	65	(1)
About (Child)'s School	65	(1)
Dressing for School, Dressing for the Weather	65	(1)
Sports	65	(1)
After School	66	(2)
Lessons or Other After-School Activities	66	(1)
Snacks after School	66	(1)
Questions about the Day	67	(1)
Remembering Backpacks, Clothing, Books, etc	67	(1)
Important School Papers/Remembering Stuff to Be Brought Home	68	(1)
Homework	68	(1)
After Homework Is Done	68	(1)
Phone and Friends, Computer and TV Use	68	(1)
Phone Use	68	(1)
Friends	68	(1)
Reciprocity	69	(1)
Future Plans with Friends	69	(1)
Computer/Internet	69	(1)
Television	69	(1)
Summary	69	(1)
House Matters	70	(2)
Everything in Its Place	70	(1)
Cash/House Account	70	(1)
House Account Expenses	71	(1)
Weights, Measures, and Currency	72	(3)
Measures of Volume	73	(1)
Weights	73	(1)
Linear Measure	73	(1)
Approximate Distances	73	(1)
Temperature Conversion	74	(1)
Currency	74	(1)
Food and Meals	75	(1)
Snacks	75	(1)
Hot Meals	75	(1)
Meals Outside the Home	76	(1)
Breakfast	76	(1)
Dinners	76	(1)
House Maintenance	76	(2)
Appliances	77	(1)
Mail and Deliveries	77	(1)
About the Phone	78	(1)
How to Answer	78	(1)
Phone Messages	78	(1)
Call Waiting	78	(1)
Phone --- Your Personal Use	79	(1)
Local Calls	79	(1)
Long Distance Calls	79	(1)
Limits on Your Phone Time	79	(1)
Driving in the Car	80	(1)
Most Important! Safety First!	80	(1)
Taking Care of the Car	80	(1)
Car Use Guidelines	81	(3)
Automobile Accidents	82	(1)
If You Are Involved in an Automobile Accident	82	(1)
Maps and Places to Become Familiar With	83	(1)
Personal: On Your Own	84	(3)
Keep Us Informed	84	(1)
Evenings	84	(1)
Weekends	84	(1)
TV	84	(1)
Computer/Internet/Fax/Copier	85	(1)
Your Room	85	(1)
Checking In, When You Arrive Home at Night	85	(1)
Personal Expenses	85	(1)
Payday	86	(1)
Alcohol, Cigarettes, and Drugs	86	(1)
Vacation Time	87	(1)
Visitors, Friends, Boyfriends	87	(1)
Local Friends (Female, Male)	87	(1)
Family/Friends from the Au Pair's Home Country	87	(1)
If You Have Questions	88	(1)
Summary (and The Golden Rules, Again)	88	(1)
The Top Three Priorities	88	(1)
PART SIX: Beyond the SOP	89	(16)
Schedules: Customized by Computer or Hard Copy and Longhand?	89	(1)
Schedule Forms: About the Weekly Schedule	89	(6)
About the Daily Schedule	91	(1)
About the ``Four Weeks-at-a-Glance'' Form	92	(1)
About the ``Month-at-a-Glance'' Form	93	(1)
About the ``Year-at-a-Glance'' Form	94	(1)
Repeated Event or ``Task'' Form	95	(1)
Phone Contact: Emergency and Otherwise	96	(1)
Emergency Phone Contact List	96	(1)
General Phone Contact List	97	(3)
Places to Become Familiar With	100	(2)
About Eating and Shopping	102	(1)
Recipe List for Family Dinners	102	(1)
Just with the Kids	102	(1)
Veggies Everyone Likes	103	(1)
Starch type Vegetables (only 1 per meal)	103	(1)
``Where to Get What'' Shopping Chart	103	(2)
Food, Groceries	103	(1)
Toiletries, Prescription Drugs, Gas, Videos, Hardware, etc	104	(1)
PART SEVEN: The Arrival and Early Days	105	(16)
Just Prior to Arrival Day	105	(1)
Arrival Day	105	(1)
Fax a Welcome Note	106	(1)
First 24 Hours in Your Home	106	(1)
Au Pair's Room---As Her ``Sanctuary''	106	(1)
The Family That Eats Together	107	(1)
First 72 Hours: Time to Observe and Assist	107	(1)
Introducing the SOP and Weekly Schedule	108	(1)
Driving Lessons	108	(1)
In The First Few Weeks	109	(3)
Weekly Review	109	(1)
A Checklist for the First Few Weeks	110	(1)
Friendships and Interests	111	(1)
When Friends Visit Your Au Pair	111	(1)
Phone/Long Distance Communication Issues	111	(1)
Communication in General	112	(2)
Feeling ``At Home''	112	(1)
In Person, and Not	112	(1)
Who's the Contact Person?	112	(1)
What the Children Say	113	(1)
Early Adjustment in General	114	(1)
The Golden Rules	114	(1)
Meals and Cooking	115	(1)
``E-Z'' Cookery?	115	(1)
Shopping Made Easy	116	(1)
Seasons of the Au Pair Year	116	(2)
In the Beginning	116	(1)
The ``Honeymoon'' Ends	116	(1)
Birthdays and Holidays	117	(1)
Quarterly Reviews	117	(1)
Vacation Time	118	(3)
Your Au Pair's Vacation	118	(1)
Vacationing With Your Au Pair	119	(1)
Vacationing Without Your Au Pair	119	(1)
Holidays	120	(1)
Your Au Pair's Family's Vacations	120	(1)
PART EIGHT: Trouble Shooting: Common Problems	121	(5)
Time Keepers	121	(1)
Car Problems	121	(1)
Overly Argumentative Personality	122	(1)
Questionable Friends	122	(1)
``Party Animals''	122	(1)
Who Owns the Problem?	123	(1)
Keeping Problems in Perspective	123	(1)
Bringing in the Local Coordinator	123	(1)
When It Can't Be Fixed	124	(1)
In-Country Rematches versus Starting Over	124	(1)
Those Golden Rules Again	125	(1)
PART NINE: Saying Goodbye	126	(4)
Be Ready for Next Year	126	(1)
Overlap with a New Au Pair	126	(1)
13th Month Travel	126	(1)
Growth Areas for the Au Pair from the Year Abroad	127	(3)
Documentation to Help Your Au Pair	127	(1)
Letter of Support	128	(1)
A Life-Shaping Year	129	(1)
Saying Good-bye, A Final Party, and Staying in Touch	129	(1)
Conclusion	130	(1)
The Blank Charts, Forms, and Letters	131