Breaking Up Blues: A Guide to Survival and Growth

by Cullington; Denise

• ISBN13: 9780415455473
• ISBN10: 0415455472
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Nonspecific Binding
• Copyright: 2008-05-14
• Publisher: Routledge

Summary

We want to believe that break-up and divorce may be tough in the short term, but that time will heal all. But is it a dangerous myth? Breaking Up Bluespresents evidence of the risks of remaining caught in bitter battle; of failing to learn from past difficulties; in refusing to mind; or becoming caught in self-hatred and despair. What looks like self-protection can turn out to be self-destructive. Self-help books tell you not to fight '¬ ; but not why battles are so addictive. They tell you to bin your baggage and be positive '¬ ; but if that is all you do, you can'¬"t have any memories of past good times, or of any joint achievements. They tell you to reach out and find someone new '¬ ; but not until you'¬"ve done the emotional work can you risk being open to a new partner. Nor do they remind you of the threat to self-esteem of brief flings. Break-up and divorce can also offer an opportunity for growth '¬ ; whether originally looked for, or not. You need to find your resources (including how to manage feelings of panic, loneliness, guilt and grief) and re-find your self-worth. Abraham Lincoln said that "sucess in life consists of moving from one failure to another without losing enthusiasm". This book shows you how.

Table of Contents

Prelude to Break Up

Introduction

Should You Leave?

Should You Stay?

Being Left

The Trauma Of Break-up

Loss

Rage

Legal Battles

Refusing to Mind

Depression

Toolkits

Emergency Toolkit

Emotional Toolkit

Letting Go of Hatred

Facing Your Part

Acceptance - and Mourning

Children

Noticing Children's Distress

Evidence of Impact on Children

Parenting After Break-up

A Wider Focus

Roadmap of the Unconscious

Problems of Intimacy

Different Developmental Tasks of Boys and Girls

Stress and Stages of Life

The Future

A New Partner?

Moving On

Appendix

Table of Contents provided by Publisher. All Rights Reserved.