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| Introduction | |
| Make Your Own Custody Decisions If Possible | p. 2 |
| What If We Need Outside Help? | p. 3 |
| Balancing Parenting and Financial Issues | p. 3 |
| Why This Book Is Unique | p. 4 |
| A Word to Skeptics | p. 5 |
| What If You Just Want to Fight? | p. 5 |
| Icons Used in This Book | p. 7 |
| Getting Started | |
| Taking Stock of Your Situation | |
| You Are Not Alone | p. 2 |
| Keep Your Parenting Plan Focused on Your Children | p. 2 |
| It Gets Easier Over Time | p. 3 |
| Learn How to Negotiate | p. 4 |
| If the Other Parent Is Absent | p. 5 |
| If There Is Violence or Abuse in the Family | p. 5 |
| An Introduction to Parenting Agreements | |
| What Parenting Agreements Cover | p. 2 |
| Advantages of Parent-Negotiated Agreements | p. 2 |
| Goals of a Successful Parenting Agreement | p. 3 |
| Parenting Agreements and Custody | p. 5 |
| Getting Organized | |
| Organize and Review Documents | p. 2 |
| Completing the Worksheets | p. 3 |
| Sample Worksheets | p. 4 |
| How to Negotiate a Parenting Agreement | |
| Knowing What You Need and Want | p. 3 |
| When Conflict Gets in the Way | p. 4 |
| Using Effective Negotiation and Problem-Solving Strategies | p. 9 |
| Breaking Through Impasses | p. 12 |
| Knowing Where to Get Help and Support | p. 16 |
| Your Parenting Agreement | |
| Building Your Agreement | |
| Where to Begin | p. 2 |
| Cooperate! Cooperate! Cooperate! | p. 3 |
| Get Outside Help | p. 3 |
| Keep Your Agreement Current | p. 4 |
| Basic Elements | |
| Issue 1: Where Our Children Will Live | p. 3 |
| Issue 2: Medical, Dental, and Vision Care | p. 10 |
| Issue 3: Disparaging Remarks | p. 12 |
| Issue 4: Consistency in Raising Children | p. 12 |
| Issue 5: Holidays | p. 13 |
| Issue 6: Education | p. 15 |
| Issue 7: Insurance | p. 19 |
| Issue 8: Making Decisions | p. 21 |
| Issue 9: Resolving Disputes | p. 23 |
| Issue 10: Labeling the Custody Arrangement | p. 26 |
| Finishing Touches | |
| Issue 11: Exchanging Information | p. 3 |
| Issue 12: Child Care | p. 5 |
| Issue 13: Special Occasions and Family Events | p. 7 |
| Issue 14: Vacations | p. 8 |
| Issue 15: Outside Activities | p. 9 |
| Issue 16: Transporting the Children | p. 10 |
| Issue 17: Improving Transition Times | p. 11 |
| Issue 18: Maintaining Contact | p. 13 |
| Issue 19: Grandparents, Relatives, and Important Friends | p. 15 |
| Issue 20: Psychiatric and Other Mental Health Care | p. 16 |
| Issue 21: Religious Training | p. 17 |
| Issue 22: Surname | p. 18 |
| Issue 23: Treating Each Child as an Individual | p. 19 |
| Issue 24: Separating Adult and Parenting Issues | p. 21 |
| Issue 25: Making Changes | p. 22 |
| Issue 26: Making Substantive Changes to the Agreement | p. 24 |
| Issue 27: Explaining the Agreement to Your Children | p. 24 |
| Serious Issues | |
| Issue 28: Domestic Violence, Child Abuse, and Child Neglect | p. 2 |
| Issue 29: Alcohol or Drug Abuse | p. 6 |
| Issue 30: Undermining the Parent-Child Relationship | p. 8 |
| Issue 31: Denying Access to the Children | p. 9 |
| Issue 32: If Extended Family Members or Close Friends Are Fueling the Dispute | p. 10 |
| Special Circumstances | |
| Issue 33: Moving | p. 3 |
| Issue 34: When Parenting Styles and Values Differ | p. 7 |
| Issue 35: When a Parent Needs to Develop Parenting Skills | p. 9 |
| Issue 36: When Parents Have New Partners | p. 9 |
| Issue 37: If Our Homes Are Far Apart | p. 11 |
| Issue 38: When Nonrelatives Live in the Home | p. 12 |
| Issue 39: Reinvolving a Previously Absent Parent | p. 13 |
| Issue 40: Driving and Owning a Car, Motorcycle, or Off-Road Vehicle | p. 15 |
| Issue 41: International Travel and Passports | p. 16 |
| Issue 42: Military Service | p. 17 |
| Issue 43: Allowing Underage Marriage | p. 18 |
| Beyond Your Parenting Agreement | |
| Child Support, Alimony, and Jointly Owned Property | |
| Understanding Child Support | p. 2 |
| Understanding Alimony or Spousal Support | p. 4 |
| Negotiating Child and Spousal Support | p. 6 |
| Dividing Jointly Owned Property | p. 7 |
| Making Mediation and Arbitration Work for You | |
| How Mediation Works | p. 2 |
| Why Mediation Works | p. 2 |
| Proposing Mediation | p. 3 |
| Understanding Basic Mediation Techniques | p. 4 |
| Why Mediation Works in Very Difficult Cases | p. 7 |
| What Mediators Don't Do | p. 9 |
| Choosing Between Court-Ordered and Private Mediation | p. 9 |
| When the Mediator Makes a Recommendation to the Court | p. 10 |
| Custody Evaluations | p. 11 |
| Choosing a Mediator | p. 11 |
| Preparing for Mediation | p. 12 |
| If You Can't Reach an Agreement | p. 13 |
| Alternatives to Mediation | p. 13 |
| Dealing With Changes in Your Agreement | |
| Why Changes Are Necessary-And How to Handle Them | p. 2 |
| When You Are the One Initiating Change | p. 3 |
| When You Are the One Responding to a Request for Change | p. 4 |
| When Tensions Are Running High | p. 5 |
| What to Do After You Negotiate the Changes | p. 5 |
| Understanding Your Children's Needs | |
| Strategies for Your Children at Any Age | p. 2 |
| Strategies for Your Children at Different Ages and Developmental Stages | p. 5 |
| Strategies for Children With Special Needs | p. 8 |
| Multiracial, Multicultural, and International Families | |
| Accommodating Differences in Child-Rearing Practices | p. 2 |
| Encouraging Children to Celebrate the Traditions of Both Parents | p. 2 |
| Sorting Out the Role of Power Within the Family | p. 3 |
| Working Within the American Legal System | p. 3 |
| Deciding Whether Another Country Has Authority Over Parenting (Custody) Issues | p. 4 |
| Nontraditional Families | |
| What Are Nontraditional Families? | p. 2 |
| The Legal Relationship of a Nontraditional Parent and His or Her Children | p. 2 |
| Recognizing the Nontraditional Parent's Role | p. 6 |
| Resolving Conflict in a Way That Meets Your Family's Needs | p. 6 |
| Creating New Relationships After the Divorce or Separation | p. 7 |
| State and Federal Laws Affecting Child Custody | |
| Custody and Visitation | p. 2 |
| Best Interests of the Child | p. 3 |
| Mediation | p. 7 |
| Interference With Custody | p. 9 |
| Interstate Custody Disputes | p. 10 |
| International Custody Disputes | p. 10 |
| Custody and the IRS | p. 11 |
| Help Beyond the Book | |
| Researching Legal Issues | p. 3 |
| Researching Nonlegal Issues | p. 5 |
| Research on the World Wide Web | p. 5 |
| Finding Professionals Who Can Help | p. 6 |
| Additional Resources | p. 10 |
| Bibliography | p. 12 |
| Appendix: Tear-Out Forms | |
| Describe Your Child | |
| Describe Your Relationship With Your Child | |
| Adding the Details | |
| Checklist of Issues for Your Parenting Agreement | |
| Parenting Agreement | |
| Index | |
| Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved. |
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