Children of Divorce: Stories of Loss and Growth, Second Edition

by Harvey,John H.

• ISBN13: 9780415872584
• ISBN10: 0415872588
• Edition: 2nd
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2010-06-15
• Publisher: Routledge

Summary

Featuring excerpts of essays collected from thousands of young adults while in the throes of divorce, this book paints a picture of the pain and the hope shown by the storytellers. By framing the narratives with an analysis of the most recent divorce literature, the authors' provide readers with a greater and more vivid understanding of the effects of divorce.Challenging the contention that most children will be irretrievably hurt by their parents' divorce,ã some stories clearly demonstrate the strength and resilience many have learned in dealing with a divorce in the family. Emphasis is placed on how hope about the possibilities of having close relationships--as well as a willingness to create stronger families in their own lives--represent abiding motivations in this sample of young people. The authors hope that the use of the raw input of respondents will make the experiences more realistic and ultimately help people deal with major loss events in their lives.Highlights of the new edition include:A new chapter (7) that demonstrates the messiness of divorce (infidelity, dysfunctional interactions, multiple marriages/relationships, and the financial expense), the fading stigma of divorce, the latest divorce rates, the increased average age of first time marriages, and theã recent hook-up phenomenon wherein young people are showing a reluctance to commitment.Updated throughout with the most current demographic data, new findings from the top researchers in the field, and the latest intervention programs.A review of the Divorce Variability and Fluidity Model (DVFM) that helps predict variability in adjusting to divorce.More suggestions to help children adapt to divorce, including material on parenting education classes and mediation as a method for easing the process.A list of readings and suggested websites for further review.More tables and graphs to summarize key concepts.An ideal supplement for courses on divorce, family studies, close relationships, and loss and trauma taught in human development and family studies, and clinical, counselling, and socialã psychology, as well as communication, social work, and sociology, these engaging stories also appeal to practitioners and those interested in the effects of divorce in general.

Table of Contents

Preface	p. xi
Acknowledgments	p. xiii
The Pervasiveness of Divorce and the Value of Diverse Voices	p. 1
Why This Book?	p. 1
The Pervasiveness of Divorce	p. 2
The Effects of Divorce on Children	p. 4
The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce	p. 7
Diverse Scholarly Voices	p. 17
Risk and Resilience	p. 18
Why the Theme of Loss and Growth?	p. 18
Theoretical Perspective and Methods	p. 21
The Divorce Variability and Fluidity Model	p. 21
An Account-Making Theoretical Perspective	p. 24
Young Persons' Voices: How Were Their Stories Gathered and Analyzed?	p. 26
Caveats on Drawing Inferences From the Narrative Accounts	p. 28
Voices of Despair	p. 31
Shock and Disillusionment	p. 32
End of the ôPerfect Familyö	p. 34
Divorce Chaos and Craziness	p. 40
Financial and Visitation Difficulties	p. 42
In the Middle	p. 45
Deep Sadness	p. 49
Becoming a Cynic	p. 53
Just Plain Pain	p. 56
Death of a Sibling as a Subtheme in Divorce	p. 57
Conclusions	p. 59
Voices of Hope	p. 61
Friendly Divorce	p. 62
Getting a ôReal Dadö	p. 64
Perceiving Good and Bad Outcomes, But Mostly Good	p. 67
Coming Through the Wilderness and Finding Hope	p. 73
In the End: Growth and Hope	p. 77
Will Not Accept ôJust Good Enoughö	p. 82
A Nuanced Position	p. 86
Conclusions	p. 89
Becoming ôParentlessö Due to Divorce	p. 91
ôToo Lateö	p. 92
Father Became Too Busy	p. 95
Losing a Father Early, Then Sporadic Involvement	p. 96
A ôDouble Lossö of Father	p. 98
Death of a Sibling, Then Loss of a Father	p. 101
ôYou're the Man of the House Nowö	p. 104
Hope Mixed With Loss	p. 105
Conclusions	p. 113
Family Chaos and Resilience	p. 115
Strength in Appreciation of Complexity	p. 115
Multiple Divorces	p. 123
Pretending That the Family Is Normal	p. 126
The Long Struggle	p. 128
The Imperative to Mature	p. 130
Difficulty in Accepting a Stepdad	p. 133
Conclusions	p. 135
Recent Narratives and New Perspectives on Divorce	p. 137
Pragmatism	p. 138
The Present and Future of Divorce: A Fading Stigma?	p. 141
Divorce and the ôHookupö Culture	p. 142
Conclusions	p. 143
Conclusions	p. 145
Connections to the Divorce Literature	p. 146
Extensions of the Existing Literature: Newly Emerging Themes	p. 154
The Final Conclusion: The Need to Talk and Express Thoughts and Feelings	p. 158
Appendix	p. 161
Web Sites	p. 161
Readings	p. 162
References	p. 163
Author Index	p. 167
Subject Index	p. 169
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