Choosing Civility The Twenty-five Rules of Considerate Conduct

by Forni, P. M.

• ISBN13: 9780312302504
• ISBN10: 0312302509
• Edition: Reprint
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2003-11-08
• Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin

Summary

Most people would agree that thoughtful behavior and common decency are in short supply, or simply forgotten in hurried lives of emails, cellphones, and multi-tasking. In Choosing Civility, P. M. Forni identifies the twenty-five rules that are most essential in connecting effectively and happily with others. In clear, witty, and, well....civilized language, Forni covers topics that include: * Think Twice Before Asking Favors * Give Constructive Criticism * Refrain from Idle Complaints * Respect Others' Opinions * Don't Shift Responsibility and Blame * Care for Your Guests * Accept and Give Praise Finally, Forni provides examples of how to put each rule into practice and so make life-and the lives of others-more enjoyable, companionable, and rewarding. Choosing Civility is a simple, practical, perfectly measured, and quietly magical handbook on the lost art of civility and compassion.AUTHORBIO: Dr. P.M. Forni teaches civility and Italian literature at Johns Hopkins University. He is the co-founder of The Johns Hopkins Civility Project (1997 - 2000).His series of commentaries, Speaking of Manners, is aired by the National Public Radio-affiliate station in Baltimore. Among the media outlets that have reported on his work on civility are The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Times of London, the BBC, CNNfn and elsewhere. He lives with his wife Virginia in Baltimore, Maryland.

Author Biography

DR. P.M. FORNI is an award-winning professor of Italian Literature at Johns Hopkins University. In 2000 he founded The Civility Initiative at Johns Hopkins and over the years has continued to teach courses on the theory and history of manners. His book Choosing Civility (2002) has sold more than 100,000 copies. Reports on his work have appeared on The New York Times, The Times of London, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, and The Los Angeles Times. He has been a on a number of radio and television shows, including ABC's World News Tonight, CBS Sunday Morning and BBC's Outlook. For years he was a regular on-the-air contributor to the Baltimore NPR affiliate station and the nationally syndicated radio show The Satellite Sisters.

Table of Contents

Foreword	xi
PART ONE
Life and Relationships	3	(4)
What Is Civility?	7	(6)
Respect in Action	13	(2)
Happiness and the Mind	15	(3)
How Do We Learn to Love?	18	(3)
Civility and Self-Expression	21	(4)
Nice Guys Finish Last. Or Do They?	25	(3)
The Science of Love and Social Support	28	(3)
About the Rules	31	(4)
PART TWO
THE RULES
1. Pay Attention	35	(6)
2. Acknowledge Others	41	(3)
3. Think the Best	44	(4)
4. Listen	48	(6)
5. Be Inclusive	54	(6)
6. Speak Kindly	60	(4)
7. Don't Speak Ill	64	(5)
8. Accept and Give Praise	69	(5)
9. Respect Even a Subtle "No"	74	(3)
10. Respect Others' Opinions	77	(4)
11. Mind Your Body	81	(6)
12. Be Agreeable	87	(6)
13. Keep It Down (and Rediscover Silence)	93	(4)
14. Respect Other People's Time	97	(3)
15. Respect Other People's Space	100	(6)
16. Apologize Earnestly	106	(4)
17. Assert Yourself	110	(6)
18. Avoid Personal Questions	116	(6)
19. Care for Your Guests	122	(4)
20. Be a Considerate Guest	126	(5)
21. Think Twice Before Asking for Favors	131	(5)
22. Refrain from Idle Complaints	136	(5)
23. Accept and Give Constructive Criticism	141	(5)
24. Respect the Environment and Be Gentle to Animals	146	(6)
25. Don't Shift Responsibility and Blame	152
PART THREE
Culture Shock	161	(2)
Striking Through the Form to the Substance	163	(2)
I Did It My Way	165	(2)
Authority on the Wane	167	(2)
The Age of the Self	169	(2)
Living Among Strangers	171	(2)
The Drive to Achieve	173	(2)
Stress	175	(1)
How We Play the Game	176	(3)
Two Sides of the Coin	179	(3)
What to Do	182	(5)
Notes	187	(8)
Suggestions for Further Reading	195

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