Acknowledgments | 9 | (2) | |
Introduction | 11 | (3) | |
Having the Times of our lives | 14 | (4) | |
Hey baby, I'm your handy man | 18 | (4) | |
Hate telemarketers? Join the chorus. | 22 | (4) | |
Sunday at the bookstore | 26 | (4) | |
My little black friend from Aruba | 30 | (4) | |
Yes, you can bring a bottle. Of Scope. | 34 | (4) | |
Fandango time at the Meadowlands | 38 | (4) | |
Lessons my mothers taught me | 42 | (4) | |
Take good care of yourself (if you can) | 46 | (4) | |
The boy in the oval picture frame | 50 | (4) | |
Lost in spaciness | 54 | (4) | |
Your call is important to us. You aren't. | 58 | (4) | |
Gimme a head with hair | 62 | (4) | |
Barking up the wrong tree | 66 | (4) | |
Take me out to the ball game | 70 | (4) | |
Living off the fat of the land | 74 | (4) | |
Who says it's more blessed to give? | 78 | (4) | |
The man's guide to a festive holiday season | 82 | (4) | |
samX yrreM | 86 | (4) | |
Thank you for flying with us today | 90 | (4) | |
What colleges don't want you to know | 94 | (5) | |
Paula's amazing garlic pickle diet | 99 | (3) | |
A Survivor's guide to a family reunion | 102 | (4) | |
And the final Jeopardy! answer is... | 106 | (4) | |
Clip this column and stash it in a drawer | 110 | (4) | |
If you want to see them do their thing... | 114 | (5) | |
Sure you can buy my vote | 119 | (3) | |
I'm letting Clyde decide | 122 | (4) | |
It's all Clyde's fault | 126 | (4) | |
I slept with Patsy Ramsey | 130 | (4) | |
What do women talk about? | 134 | (4) | |
Rainy days and Mondays always you-know-what | 138 | (4) | |
Aunt Evie's outhouse, and the flood of '41 | 142 | (4) | |
As close as brothers | 146 | (4) | |
My life-to-be as a dog | 150 | (4) | |
Ask me. I'm happy to help. | 154 | (5) | |
You are the wind beneath my wings | 159 | (4) | |
Plunged into despair | 163 | (4) | |
Getting our beauty rest | 167 | (4) | |
To my college-age niece | 171 | (4) | |
Desiderada for the new millennium | 175 | (4) | |
The Lucky Egg Club | 179 | (4) | |
My annual dose of la joie de vivre | 183 | (4) | |
Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner | 187 | (4) | |
From the (small) minds of corporate lawyers | 191 | (4) | |
The gathering storm | 195 | (3) | |
The Doubting Thomas summer film festival | 198 | (5) | |
It's a wwwacky world | 203 | (4) | |
"Please hold for Doubting Thomas" | 207 |