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Based on her hugely popular website, ScaryMommy.com, Jill Smokler exposes the humorous underbelly of parenthood based on her less-than-perfect experiences as a Baltimore mom of three."I shall not judge the mother in the grocery store who, upon entering, hits the candy aisle and doles out M&Ms to her screaming toddler. It is simply a survival mechanism. I shall never ask any woman whether she is, in fact, expecting. Ever. I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me." Hilarious and honest, Jill Smokler isn't afraid to say what every mom is thinking. Addressing topics that range from pregnancy (who are these women who glow?) to new mommyhood (what you really need in the hospital and in your diaper bag), and from other people's kids (especially the ones to avoid!) to birthday parties (why the "Home Party" is the worst idea ever). This memoir/advice book/confessional is a mix of original personal essays, hilarious anecdotes, lists (from things my husband is incapable of doing, to how to appear to be an exceptional mother), and selected confessions from Smokler's phenomenal blog.