9781897238455

The Conscious Parent Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children

by
  • ISBN13:

    9781897238455

  • ISBN10:

    1897238452

  • Format: Paperback
  • Copyright: 11/1/2010
  • Publisher: Namaste Publishing

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Summary

Itís a tremendous privilege to raise children, though for a quite different reason than most of us who are parents imagine. While we think itís our responsibility to mold and shape our childrenís future, the essential premise of Dr. Shefali TsabaryísA Call to Conscious Parentingis that our children are born to us to create deep internal transformation within us. Our children have the power to unleash our egoic behavior unlike anyone else, triggering all of our emotional reactivity. As, through our intimate relationship with them, we are exposed to our immaturity, they become our most accurate mirror of our own lack of emotional development. In other words, by inviting us to confront who we are in our relationship with them, our children raise us to be the parents they long for us to become. Despite our best intentions to raise our children well, in our unconsciousness we pass on emotional legacies to our children that have deep and lasting repercussions. Bequeathing to them our unresolved needs, unmet expectations, and frustrated dreams, we shackle them in unconscious patterns that shut them down to their own unique being. To do justice to parenthood, a parent needs to become conscious. Only to the degree we are willing to transform our own emotional present do we succeed in positively influencing our childrenís future. Dr. Tsabary asks us to set aside traditional parenting strategies that major in controlling our children and instead find true kinship with their spirits by tuning into who each child is in its own unique essence. Surrendering to the oneness of the parent-child relationship in this way lifts parenting out of the physical and into the realm of the sacred. Peppered with practical, hands-on examples from Dr. Tsabaryís real-life experiences with the countless families she has helped journey consciously together,A Call to Conscious Parentingis a manual for giving our children the opportunity to shine and dazzle with their natural state of being.

Author Biography

Shefali Tsabary, PhD, received her doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University, New York. Dr. Tsabary was exposed to Eastern mindfulness at an early age and integrates its teachings with Western psychology. This blend of East and West allows her to reach a global audience. Her ability to appeal to both a psychologically astute and consciousness-driven audience establishes her as one of a kind in the parenting field. Dr. Tsabary has worked with a varied demographic: survivors of the Asian Tsunami, women from economically disadvantaged countries, inner city youth, suburban families, the elderly and infirm, and corporate leaders. She lectures extensively on mindful living and conscious parenting around the world and is in private practice. She resides with her husband and daughter in New York.

Table of Contents

A Real Person Like Myselfp. 1
You Are Raising a Spirit Throbbing with Its Own Signaturep. 2
Parenting Unconsciously Is Where We All Beginp. 4
To Connect with Your Children, First Connect with Yourselfp. 6
You Can Build a Feeling of Kinship in Your Familyp. 9
How Consciousness Changes How We Parentp. 10
The Spiritual Reason We Birth Our Childrenp. 13
How Can a Child Awaken an Adult?p. 15
How Conscious Parenting Is Learnedp. 19
A Conscious Parent Doesn't Emerge Overnightp. 21
Release Your Children From the Need for Your Approvalp. 25
Acceptance Is Keyp. 28
There's Nothing Passive About Acceptancep. 30
Don't Parent with a Cookie-Cutter Approachp. 31
You Will Only Accept Your Child to the Degree You Accept Yourselfp. 35
A Blow to Our Egop. 39
How Does Ego Function?p. 40
The Ego of Imagep. 43
The Ego of Perfectionp. 44
The Ego of Statusp. 47
The Ego of Conformityp. 48
The Ego of Being "In Control"p. 50
You Can Transition Out of Egop. 53
Is Your Child Growing You Up?p. 56
Face Up to Your Reactivityp. 58
Discover Your Emotional Inheritancep. 61
How Can You Integrate Your Pain?p. 64
How to Handle Your Child's Painp. 65
Take One Step at a Timep. 68
What It Takes to Tame Your Anxietyp. 74
Life Is Wisep. 77
Life Itself Teaches Usp. 78
Is It Possible to Trust Life?p. 80
Your Child Doesn't Need to Earn Your Trustp. 81
How You Draw Many of Your Circumstances to Youp. 83
You Can Break Free of Your Unconsciousnessp. 86
It's All in the Interpretation We Give itp. 89
The Challenge of a Lifetimep. 95
Infancy and the "Terrible Two's"
The Lessons of Infancy for the Parentp. 96
A Journey of Self-discoveryp. 98
A Chance to Recover Your Rhythmp. 100
Toddlerhood: A Planet All Its Ownp. 102
Toddlerhood Is the Time to Sow the Seeds of Containmentp. 105
From Center Stage to Supportiang Castp. 109
A Parent's Opportunity for Spiritual
Growth in the School Years
Middle School: the Challenge of "Being There" for Our Childrenp. 110
High School: the Need for Unequivocal Acceptancep. 113
Why It's Important to Resist the Temptation to Controlp. 115
The Insanity of Parenthoodp. 117
The Particular Role of the Motherp. 118
Raising a Child Is an Invitation to Surrender to a Different Pacep. 122
Parent From Wholeness Instead of Your Woundsp. 125
If You Grew Up Feeling You Weren't Good Enoughp. 127
If You Learned to Please Others to Earn Their Approvalp. 130
Were You Unable to Be Yourself?p. 134
"Bad" Behavior Is Really a Search for Our Inherent Goodnessp. 137
Your Brokenness Doesn't Reflect Your True Beingp. 139
A Household Built on Beingp. 141
Are You Aware that Anxiety Is a Form of "Doing?"p. 144
What's the Source of Our Fear of the Present?p. 147
Beyond Living by "Doing"p. 149
The Moment Is Nowp. 151
The Wonder of the Ordinaryp. 155
Do You Revel In Your Child's Ordinariness?p. 156
The Fallacy of the Overproduction of Lifep. 158
Surrender the Urgency to "Do"p. 161
Back to Basicsp. 162
A Life that Mirrors Who Your Child Isp. 165
Shelve Those Great Expectationsp. 167
Honor Who Your Child Isp. 168
How to Set the Bar for Your Childp. 169
What Can You Realistically Expect of Your Child?p. 172
Focus on the Process, Not the Outcomep. 174
Use the Right Kind of Praisep. 178
Realize that Your Children Imitate Youp. 179
Create a Conscious Space In Your Child's Lifep. 183
Allow Room for Stillness in Your Child's Schedulep. 184
Create a Meaningful Narrative for Your Childp. 186
Why Expressing Gratitude to Your Child Is a Powerful Parenting Toolp. 188
Connect to Your Child with Engaged Presencep. 193
How We Undermine Our Attempts to Connect with Our Childrenp. 195
Do You Validate Your Children's Behavior, or Their Being?p. 197
Just Be Therep. 200
How to Handle Your Child's Mistakesp. 205
Do You Really Know Why They Did What They Did?p. 206
How You Can Transform Mistakes into Spiritual Goldp. 208
Celebrate Your Child's Mistakesp. 210
The Two Wings of the Eaglep. 213
A Child Can't Soar Without Containmentp. 214
The Spiritual Approach to Disciplinep. 218
Don't Avoid Conflict-Value Itp. 221
How to Discipline in a Manner that Worksp. 223
The Rule about Rulesp. 226
Why Teaching Is More Effective Than Punishmentp. 229
Acting Out Reflects Unmet Emotional Needsp. 232
Do You Own Your Part in Your Children's Behavior?p. 234
Why Delightful Children Turn into Defiant Teensp. 238
Heavy-handed Tactics Backfirep. 241
How to Execute the "No"p. 245
Timing Is Crucialp. 249
Afterword
Understanding Our Shared Unconsciousnessp. 253
We're All in This Togetherp. 254
Becoming a Parent Who Is Presentp. 256
Appendix
The Consciousness Compassp. 259
Questions to Ask Ourselves
Some Highlights From the Conscious Parentp. 263
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

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