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Based on the idea that it is our own response to a situation rather than the situation itself that creates a particular outcome, The EROS Equation is a unique approach to improving relationships. Instead of focusing on difficult partners or problems, author and relationship adviser Eve Eschner Hogan enables us to uncover new and creative responses in ourselves using the EROS equation. As she explains in the introduction, Hogan developed this problem-solving tool through years of work with clients, colleagues, and in her own marriage. She named it the EROS equation because it can be written as Event + Response = Outcome and Solutions (E + R = O and S). Invocative of the Greek god of love, this empowering outlook leads to deeper self-knowledge and more harmonious relationships. Writing in accessible, short chapters, Hogan uses real-life examples to look at typical relationship issues, from daily annoyances to extramarital affairs. She highlights common responses that don’t work and applies the EROS equation to show us how our own wisdom, intuition, and creativity can reveal solutions. The EROS Equation makes clear that by changing an unhelpful, habitual response that blocks understanding, we can create a loving and solution-oriented outcome.
Eve Eschner Hogan is an inspirational speaker and author specializing in creating healthy relationships—in the workplace, the home, and the heart. She is the author of multiple books including Way of the Winding Path, How to Love Your Marriage, Virtual Foreplay, Intellectual Foreplay, and is a relationship columnist for Spirituality and Health Magazine. Eve is also the Executive Director of the Divine Nature Alliance a 501(c)3 public charity that runs The Sacred Garden on Maui and the Peace Starts Here Project. She is the owner of Heart Path Journeys, which offers personalized, private retreats on Maui and co-owner of Makena Coast Dive Charters. With a Master’s Degree in Confluent Education and a Teaching Credential, Eve has served as a relationship adviser in newspapers, magazines, and websites for nearly 15 years and serves as a relationship coach for individuals, couples, families and organizations.
Table of Contents
EROSThe God of Love Why Love Is Not Enough
Common Sense, Uncommon Knowledge A Blueprint of the Human Being Life Strategies that Don’t Work on Love Powerful Relationship Principles
Just Because You Believe It, Doesn’t Mean It Is True What Are Your Love Beliefs? Believing Isn’t Attractive, Choices Are
Reawakening to Who You Are The Golden Buddha Self-Esteem, an Over-Used Phrase for an Under-Experienced Quality Finding Your Power A Prescription for Self-Strengthening Resilience Training ValuesGuideposts to the Goal
Uncommon Knowledge Learning to Appreciate the Ego Commitment The Ego Trigger Being an Ego Magnet Clearing the Blocks to Being Loved Clearing the Blocks to Being Loving Developing a Self-Talk Interpreter Victim No More The Beauty of Fear What Do You Treasure?
The EROS Equation What Is Your Target Everyone Else and Everything External ResponseAbility Outcome Solutions When the Grass Is Greener Four Response Options Negotiate Resist What Is Get Out Acknowledge and Accept What Is Step Into Creativity, Step Into Love
Five Essential Life and Love Skills Remember Who You Are and What You Want Self-Observe Transcend the Ego Needs Reconnect, Re-calibrate Choose Aligned Actions
Creating a No Drama Zone Stop Playing the Blame Game Integrity Choices Transforming Anger Into Love and Understanding The Flag on the Mountain Top of Emotions Letting Go of Resistance
Applying EROS to Dating
Applying EROS to Getting Married
Applying EROS to Chores
Applying EROS to Preferences
Applying EROS to Money
Applying EROS to Health
Applying EROS to Monogamy
Applying EROS to Sex
When the Equation Doesn’t Add Up Managing Mental Health and Substance Abuse in Relationships