Everything Is Going to Be Great: An Underfunded and Overexposed European Grand Tour

by Shukert, Rachel

• ISBN13: 9780061782350
• ISBN10: 0061782351
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2010-07-27
• Publisher: Harpercollins

Summary

When she lands a coveted nonpaying, nonspeaking role in a play going on a European tour, Rachel Shukert-with a brand-new degree in acting from NYU and no money-finally scores her big break. And, after a fluke at customs in Vienna, she gets her golden ticket: an unstamped passport, giving her free rein to find herself” on a grand tour of Europe. Traveling from Vienna to Zurich to Amsterdam, Rachel bounces through complicated relationships, drunken mishaps, miscommunication, and the reality-adjusting culture shock that every twentysomething faces when sent off to negotiate "the real world"-whatever that may be.

Author Biography

Rachel Shukert is a playwright, performer, and the author of Have You No Shame? And Other Regrettable Stories. Her writing has appeared in McSweeney's and Heeb, and on Salon, Slate, Gawker, Nerve, and The Daily Beast, as well as featured on National Public Radio and in numerous print anthologies. Shukert was born and raised in Omaha, Nebraska, and now lives in New York City with her husband and her bipolar cat.

Table of Contents

How to Use This Book	p. xiii
Preparing the Preparations	p. xv
I Am Not Even Washing the Underpants of Me	p. 1
The Emergency Room	p. 14
Hello from Betsy Waldbaum Abramson	p. 27
In Vienna, Everyone Looks Like Your Therapist	p. 47
Foreskin Faqs	p. 69
The Second District	p. 73
Snappy Comebacks to Loaded Questions	p. 81
What Are You, Some Kind of Refugee?	p. 93
The Swiss: Europe's Perverts? A Critical Essay	p. 95
ôExcuse Please, How much?ö When Someone mistakes you for a prostitute	p. 109
There Are No Laws for the Fish	p. 117
Where the Fuck Am I? A Guide to Dutch Street names	p. 123
Where Everybody Knows your name: Coping with Loneliness through the Power of Television	p. 129
It Tastes So Good	p. 141
Are you About to Be Sex-Trafficked? A Checklist	p. 151
They Give Me Chicken, but Still I Am a Stranger	p. 167
Another Century in Paradise: Phil Collins and the Dutch: A Survey	p. 173
A Matter of Personal Pride	p. 193
The Contradictory nature of the Dutch national Character: Topics for Discussion	p. 199
Satan Is About to Begin the Candle-Lighting Ceremony	p. 231
More Sinterklaas poems to Share and Love	p. 238
Everything is Going to Be Great	p. 257
Seize the Pickle Firmly and Never Let It Go	p. 275
How to End This Book	p. 299
Leaving the Grand Tour	p. 300
The End of the Beginning	p. 305
Acknowledgments	p. 311
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.