Love & War In Intimate Rel Cl

by Solomon,Marion

• ISBN13: 9780393705751
• ISBN10: 0393705757
• Edition: 00
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2011-04-11
• Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company

Summary

Neuroscience and couples therapy come together to help couples break patterns of bad behavior.

What happens between partners that makes love turn to war? How can couples therapists help deescalate the battles? Two leading therapists apply the latest neuroscience research on emotional arousal to help couples regulate each other’s emotions, maintain secure attachment, and foster positive, enduring relationships. The neurobiologically-grounded and sensitive approach set forth by Solomon and Tatkin in this book is sure to transform the way clinicians understand and treat couples in therapy.

‘’What a gift! Solomon and Tatkin offer us the most illuminating and creative work on couples therapy to be published in a long time. Through a variety of cases, they artfully explain why loving partners go to war with each other and then give a fascinating demonstration of how to apply biology, physiology, attachment and arousal regulation in moment–to-moment interactions. This book will be stimulating, immediately practical and eye-opening no matter what theoretical orientation you use.’’ -Ellyn Bader, PhD, Director, The Couples Institute

‘’This book should be part of the working library of any clinician whose practice is informed by the ongoing paradigm shift in psychotherapy.’’ -Allan N. Schore, PhD, UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine

‘’Reading this book was a sheer pleasure, and I did not skip a word. It is an artful theoretical and clinical integration with no wasted words....In this innovative couple therapy, they have documented the healing power of couples learning to take care of each other and put to rest the myth of the healing capacity of the autonomous self. I recommend this instructive book to all therapists....I hope this project gets lots of deserved attention.’’ -Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want

‘’A new lens on couple therapy, this book will revolutionize the way you work with partners and transform your view of relationships. The authors skillfully translate ideas from neuroscience, regulation theory, mindfulness, and attachment research into hopeful, practical and accessible interventions for working with the here and now experience of couples in therapy.’’ -Pat Ogden PhD, Founder/Director, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute, and author, Trauma and the Body

Table of Contents

Foreword	p. ix
Introduction The Context	p. xiii
Overview	p. xv
Authors' Reflections	p. xvi
How Love Turns to War
Connection and Disconnection	p. 3
The Battlefield	p. 19
Healing Wounds	p. 34
The Psychobiological Approach
The Psychobiological Imperative	p. 43
The Partner Interview	p. 53
The Importance of Movement	p. 72
The Theoretical Universe
Attachment	p. 87
Arousal Regulation	p. 98
Dysregulation	p. 105
The Theory in Practice
Mark and Melody: Secrets and Shame	p. 119
David and Margaret: A Sexless Marriage	p. 140
Paul and Jane: Crossed Signals	p. 156
Sibyl and Arthur: Taking Care of Each Other	p. 175
Epilogue: Therapist Self-Care	p. 193
A Neurobiological Vocabulary	p. 205
Social-Emononal Skills and Deficits	p. 207
The Threat Response Network	p. 215
The Adult Attachment Interview	p. 233
References	p. 237
Index	p. 257
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