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PART ONE: MANAGING THE CONFLICT PROCESS
1. Introduction to the Study of Conflict
Objectives
Key Terms
Defining Interpersonal Conflict
The Inevitability of Conflict
Conflict is a Fact of Life
Interpersonal Violence Is Not a Fact of Life
Defining Conflict Management and Skills
Communication Processes in Conflict
Conflict Communication as Productive or Destructive
Negative View of Conflict
Manage It
Think About It
Apply It
Work with It
Remember It
2. A Process View of conflict
Objectives
Key Terms
Processes in General
Patterns and Cycles in Constructive Conflict Processes
Patterns and Cycles in Destructive Conflict Processes
The Confrontation Avoidance Cycle and the “Chilling Effect”
The Competitive Conflict Escalation and Violence Cycles
The Confrontation Process: Six Steps to Successful Interpersonal Conflict Resolution
Preparation: Identify Your Problem/Needs/Issues
Tell the Person “We Need to Talk”
Interpersonal Confrontation: Talk to the Other about Your Problem
Consider Your Partner’s Point of View
Manage the Problem: Come to a Mutual Understanding and Reach an Agreement
Follow Up on the Solution: Set a Time Limit for Reevaluation
Manage It
Think About It
Apply It
Work with It
Remember It
3. Communication Options in Conflict
Objectives
Key Terms
The Other-Centered Orientation: Nonassertive Communication Behavior as an Option
Avoiding as an Option
Accommodating as an Option
The Self-Centered Orientation: Passive Aggressive and Aggressive Communication as Options
Passive-Aggressive Communication as an Option
Aggressive Communication Behavior as an Option
Verbal Aggression
Nonverbal Aggression (Physical Violence)
The Relationship-Centered Orientation: Assertive Communication Behavior as an Option
Compromise as an Option
Collaboration as an Option
Avoiding Early Compromise
Collaboration: The Preferred Strategy
Low Personal and Relationship Stress
High Personal and Relationship Growth and Satisfaction
Enacting Collaboration
Case Study
Communication Considerations: Choosing the Appropriate Communication Option
The Occasion (Including Time and Location)
The Other Person
Your Needs
Manage It
Think About It
Apply It
Work with It
Remember It
4. Responding to Conflict: The S-TLC System
Objectives
Key Terms
Communication in Conflict Situations
The S-TLC System
Stopping: Taking Time Out
Thinking about the Conflict: Analyzing Conflict Situations
Thinking about Doing Nothing or about Changing the Other Person, Situation, or Self
Thinking about Your Goals
Listening in Conflict Situations
Communicating in Conflict Situations
Using I-Statements
Components of I-Statements
Advantages of Using I-Statements
Challenges Associated with I-Statements
Manage It
Think About It
Apply It
Work with It
Remember It
5. Managing Win-Lose Conflicts through Negotiation
Objectives
Key Terms
Intangible Issues
Tangible Issues
Negotiation Basics
Competitive Negotiation
Cooperative Negotiation
Generating More Options
Additional Techniques for Converting Competitive Negotiation into Cooperation
Manage It
Think About It
Apply It
Work with It
Remember It
PART TWO: BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ESCALATION
6. Managing the Conflict Climate
Objectives
Key Terms
The Threat of Power Abuse
Sharing Power
The Threat of Competition
The Threat of Distrust
The Threat of Defensive Behavior
Manage It
Think About It
Apply It
Work with It
Remember It
7. Managing Stress
Objectives
Key Terms
Types of Stress
Eustress and Hypostress
Hyperstress
How to Manage Hyperstress
Distress
Conflict Proneness
How to Manage Distress: Developing a Playful Spirit
Changing How We Look at Life’s Challenges
The First Solution
The Second Solution
The Third Solution
Sources of Hyperstress and Distress
Constructive and Positive Thoughts/Beliefs as Responses to Hyperstress and Distress
Manage It
Think About It
Apply It
Work with It
Remember It
8. Managing Anger
Objectives
Key Terms
Experiencing Anger
Managing Anger: Three different ways of expressing or not expressing one's anger
Before Expressing Anger
Take Time Out
Relaxation Exercises
Self-Talk
Seek an alternative way to release your anger
Uncover the emotion that is disguised as anger
Expressing Anger Effectively: Anger Dos and Don'ts
Responding to Another’s Anger
Manage It
Think About It
Apply It
Work with It
Remember It
9. Managing Face
Objectives
Key Terms
Understanding the Demands of Face
Two types of Face: Positive and Autonomous Face
Facework
Preventive Facework
Supportive Facework
Corrective Facework
Repair Rituals
Offending Situation
Reproach
Remedy
Acknowledgement
Responding to Others
Conflict and Impression Management in Cyberspace
Manage It
Think About It
Apply It
Work with It
Remember It
10. Managing Conflict through Forgiveness
Objectives
Key Terms
Relational Transgressions
Why Study Forgiveness and reconciliation?
Defining Forgiveness and reconciliation
Advantages of Forgiveness
Forgiveness Benefits Our Mental Health
Forgiveness Benefits Our Physical Health
Why Don’t People Forgive?
Working through forgiveness
Learning to Forgive
Levels of Forgiveness
Working through Reconciliation
Levels of Reconciliation
Steps Toward Reconciliation
Step One: The Account and the Apology
Step Two: Acceptance of Account and Apology or its Absence
Step Three: Forgiveness may or may not be communicated
Step Four: Transforming the Relationship, if Desired
Step Five: Actions Confirm Forgiveness and Reconciliation.
Moving beyond Victimization
Seeking Forgiveness
Manage It
Think About It
Apply It
Work with It
Remember It
11. Managing Other's Disputes through Mediation
Objectives
Key Terms
Alternatives to Dispute Resolution
Formal versus Informal Mediation
The Role of the Mediator
Mediators as Communication Rules Enforcers
The Mediation Process: Step by Step
The Intake Process
Opening Statement
Describing the Dispute
Common Ground
Final Agreement
Ending the Mediation
Manage It
Think About It
Apply It
Work with It
Remember It
PART THREE: DEEPING OUR UNDERSTANDING OF CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
12. Managing Conflict from a Theoretical Perspective
Objectives
Key Terms
Intrapersonal Theories of Conflict
Psychodynamic Theory
Attribution Theory
Uncertainty Theory
Relationship Theories of Conflict
Social Exchange Theory
Systems Theory
Manage It
Think About It
Apply It
Work with It
Remember It
13. Managing group Conflict
Objectives
Key Terms
The Nature of Conflict in Groups
Types of Conflict
Conflict as Group Developer
When Conflict Creates Poor Outcomes
Role Conflict
Groupthink
The “Abilene Paradox”
The “Lucifer Effect”
Strategies to Resolve Conflict
Manage It
Think About It
Apply It
Work with It
Remember It
14. Managing Organizational Conflict
Objectives
Key Terms
Organizational Diversity and conflict
Civility as a Response
Work-life conflict
Workplace bullying
From the Playground to the Boardroom
Managing Bullies
Manage It
Think About It
Apply It
Work with It
Remember It
15. Managing Social Conflict
Objectives
Key Terms
Understanding intractable Issues
Patriotism and Nationalism
Theories of Social conflict
Critical Theory
Ripeness Theory
Ways of Approaching “the Other”
Understanding your Worldview
Components of a Worldview
The Importance of a Worldview
Manage It
Think About It
Apply It
Work with It
Remember It
16. Creativity and the Ideal Conflict Manager
Objectives
Key Terms
Creativity as it relates to Conflict
Traits of Creative People
Why is Creativity Important?
Misassumptions Preventing Creativity
Can We Learn To Be Creative?
Barriers to Creativity
Trained Incapacities
Creativity as Thinking Differently
Visual Means to Creativity
Mind Mapping
Six Hats
Visual Journaling
Types of Conflict And Issues
Principles of Effective Conflict Management
Manage It
Think About It
Apply It
Work with It
Remember It
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