9781557043177

Mothering the New Mother: Women's Feelings and Needs After Childbirth a Support and Resource Guide

by
  • ISBN13:

    9781557043177

  • ISBN10:

    1557043175

  • Edition: 2nd
  • Format: Paperback
  • Copyright: 2000-04-01
  • Publisher: HARPERCOLLINS PUBLISHERS

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Supplemental Materials

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Summary

You don't have to be alone. Share the experiences, successes, and struggles of many other women before and after childbirth in this all-in-one mothercare guide about family, work, the baby (or second or third baby), and you. Includes checklists, plan-ahead suggestions, questionnaires, and much more. Drawn from three years of research, the author's own experience, and the candid recollections of many mothers-married and single, birth and adoptive, older and younger- the nine chapters in this comprehensive guide cover all aspects of the postpartum experience, including: what the new mom should expect when she goes home what postpartum is and how long it lasts where to find breastfeeding help how to ask for help the new mom's home-care options realistic going-back-to-work options how to relieve the isolation of at-home mothering what to say (and not to say) to family members and much more

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments xi
Introduction xv
A Note on the Resources in This Book xxi
Life After Childbirth: Asking for Help Doesn't Mean You're Lazy, Crazy, or Bad
1(47)
Motherhood by Microwave: Why We Are Overwhelmed
1(4)
Coloring in the Spectrum: A Range of Postpartum Feelings
5(3)
Talking About Our Feelings---All of Them
8(3)
What Is This Period Called Postpartum, and How Long Does It Really Last?
11(4)
Getting Real: Expanding the Postpartum Time Frame
15(5)
Two into Three...
20(2)
I've Got a Feeling We're Not in Kansas Anymore: What Is the State of Matrescence?
22(3)
Who, Me? Needy? Accessing (and Accepting) Support
25(5)
When to Prepare for Postpartum: Before the Baby Comes
30(2)
Help in Hindsight
32(1)
Some Mother-Centered Needs You Might Have
33(1)
Mothering the New Mother: Mother-Centered Help on the Horizon
34(4)
Notes
38(1)
Resources
39(9)
Roots: Diverse Cultures, Earlier Times
48(31)
Mothering the Mother: Traditions Lost and Found
48(6)
Retaining or Reclaiming Postpartum Traditions
54(3)
Mothers Speak...
57(18)
Luz, Colombia
57(2)
Gerita, Jamaica
59(2)
Sara, Uganda
61(2)
In, Korea
63(1)
Diosa, Rhode Island
64(1)
Amal, Lebanon
65(3)
Lufi, China
68(2)
Myint-Myint, Burma (Myanmar)
70(1)
Melida, Guatemala
71(2)
Zaharoula, Greece
73(2)
Translating for the New Millennium
75(1)
Notes
76(1)
Resources
76(3)
Your First Weeks at Home with Baby: Who's There with You?
79(38)
Improving the Postpartum Scenario
79(5)
Yelling for Help: Is Anybody Out There?
84(13)
The Birth of the Doula Service
85(3)
What the Doula Does
88(1)
The Netherlands Model: A Century of Maternity Home Care
88(3)
How Do I Choose a Doula?
91(1)
What Should the Doula Ask Me and My Family?
92(1)
How Do I Hire a Doula?
93(1)
How Much Does the Doula Cost?
94(1)
The Doula and Third-Party Coverage
95(1)
Some Avenues of Third-Party Coverage
96(1)
Alternatives to the Hired Doula
97(9)
Nonprofit Doula Services
97(1)
Volunteers and Mothering Mentors
98(2)
Midwives, Birth Companions, and Childbirth Assistants: Expanding the Postpartum Role
100(4)
A Little Help from Your Friends
104(2)
Notes
106(1)
Resources
106(11)
You've Chosen to Breastfeed: Who's Showing You How?
117(42)
The Importance of Having Hands-on Human Help
117(6)
Getting Started in the Hospital: Possible Obstacles
123(2)
The Baby-Friendly Hospital: A New Global Initiative
125(1)
The Baby-Friendly Hospital: Ten Steps to Successful Breastfeeding
125(1)
Choosing a Helper
126(10)
Peer Volunteer Groups
128(1)
The Lactation Consultant
129(3)
Choosing a Lactation Consultant
132(3)
What to Expect During a Breastfeeding Consultation
135(1)
What Does the Lactation Consultant Cost?
135(1)
Other Mother-Centered Messages and Models
136(3)
The Doula Project
136(2)
Friends of Lactation: A Participatory Model
138(1)
Getting to Know Your Neighbor
139(1)
Breastfeeding and Moms Working Outside the Home
139(4)
Time
140(1)
Space/Proximity
141(1)
Support
141(2)
Sitting in the Circle: Three Mothers and a Father Share Their Stories
143(7)
Diana: Joining a Circle of Women
143(1)
Nikki: Changes in the Workplace
144(3)
Jessica and Will: Unforeseen Problems/A Teamwork Effort
147(3)
Notes
150(1)
Resources
150(9)
Postpartum Depression: You Are Not Alone
159(63)
For Immediate Help...
159(1)
Signs and Symptoms
160(1)
Treatment
161(1)
Making Up for Lost Time: The Growing Awareness
162(4)
Some Words of Reassurance: It Is Important to Know...
166(2)
Postpartum Depression: Evolving Definitions
168(9)
Baby Blues or Maternity Blues
170(1)
Postpartum Depression (or Major Postpartum Depression)
171(2)
Postpartum Panic Attacks
173(1)
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
173(1)
Postpartum Psychotic Depression
174(2)
Postpartum Exhaustion
176(1)
Postpartum Adjustment
177(1)
Why Does It Happen?
177(3)
What Does It Feel Like?
180(4)
Silence Isn't Golden: Getting the Words Out
184(9)
The Light at the End of the Tunnel: Finding Multifaceted, Sympathetic Treatment and Support
193(5)
Some Caveats in Choosing or Assessing Your Caregivers
198(3)
The Self-Help Movement
201(4)
The Importance of a Support Network: Moms, Dads, Partners, Siblings, Families, and Friends
205(1)
Best of All Possible Worlds: Working Toward Prevention and Early Detection
206(4)
Resolution and Empowerment
210(2)
Notes
212(1)
Resources
213(9)
Going Back to Work for Pay: What Does the Workplace Offer You?
222(46)
Motherwork/Otherwork
222(4)
To Return or Not to Return
226(3)
Giving Your Workplace the News
229(3)
Defining and Negotiating Your Leave and Return Schedules
232(2)
Family Leave/Job Security: Who's Providing It? Who's Getting It?
234(3)
Knowing What Your Rights Are
236(1)
The Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 (FMLA)
237(1)
Some Highlights of the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993
238(1)
Taking Your Leave: The View from Within (or, How I Spent My Parental Leave)
239(7)
Returning to Work: Your Emotions
246(9)
A Sampling of Family-Friendly Programs and Resources
255(1)
Solutions at Work: Striking the Balance
256(4)
Notes
260(1)
Resources
261(7)
Staying at Home: The Hardest Place to Network---Or Is It?
268(44)
Motherwork: The Job Begins...
268(4)
Making the Decision
272(8)
Who Am I? Where Am I?
280(3)
Motherwork: Revising the Job Description
283(7)
Mommy Wars/Mommy Myths
290(2)
The Public Policy Arena and Mothers at Home
292(1)
Formerly Employed Mothers: The Feelings
292(5)
Doing Your Homework: Home-Based Work for Pay
297(6)
Beyond Your Own Four Walls: Staying Connected
303(4)
Notes
307(1)
Resources
308(4)
The Second (Third...Fourth...) Time Around: Old Pro/New Feelings
312(21)
What Have We Learned from This Experience?
312(7)
Helping Your Older Child Prepare Can Also Help Ease Your Own Transition
319(5)
Sibling Classes
324(3)
Local Sibling Class or Program Information
324(1)
A Good Sibling Class or Program Might Accomplish Several Goals
325(1)
Two Model Sibling Classes
325(2)
Resources
327(6)
Putting It All Together When You're the New Mother: Creating a Postpartum Plan
333(10)
From the Page to the People...Making a List
333(4)
People Who Have Played a Significant Role in My Pregnancy and Birthing Process
335(1)
People/Supports I May Need After the Baby Is Born
335(2)
Creating My Postpartum Support Network
337(1)
Visitors on Parade...
337(1)
Some Mothering-the-New-Mother Gifts
338(1)
Some Ways to Make Connections Prenatally
339(1)
Helping Your Friends Help You: Orchestrating a Mothering-the-New-Mother Circle
339(2)
Sample Letter Organizing Help for the New Mom-to-Be
340(1)
From Three to Four and Beyond: Expanding the Postpartum Plan
341(2)
Beyond the First Baby: A New Kind of Plan
342(1)
Appendix A: Prenatal Questionnaire 343(2)
Appendix B: Postpartum Questionnaire 345(6)
Index 351

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