Oh, No, They're Engaged! : A Sanity Guide for the Mother of the Bride or Groom

by Smith, Joy

• ISBN13: 9781469753058
• ISBN10: 1469753057
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2012-02-21
• Publisher: Textstream

Summary

Your daughter or son is getting married; congratulations! But what is the role of the mother of the bride or groom? Oh, No, They're Engaged seeks to help any mother figure out the best ways to guide her child through the emotions, issues, and decisions that arise once a wedding is on the horizon. The betrothed couple's life is changing, and so are the lives of their parents. Soon-to-be brides and grooms need the support and encouragement of their families now more than ever, as they struggle with the decisions and commitments that go along with planning a union with a life partner. Oh, No, They're Engaged allows any mother to carry off her parental role in planning with dignity and common sense while explaining the execution of a traditional wedding. Included is vital information on helping the couple deal with the emotional decisions, relationship issues, and budget concerns that accompany the wedding planning process-without losing sight of their dream. From controlling expenses to managing the guest list, this handy reference guide provides all of the information critical to helping a son or daughter have the wedding of their dreams. Oh, No, They're Engaged allows any mother of the bride or groom to support her child and that child's wedding dreams while enabling everyone to enjoy this special time.

Excerpts

But, you're concerned... Sometimes, when a child is to be wedded, it's not for the first time. Perhaps your daughter is marrying a fellow who has been married before and will bring young children to the union. Rejoice, you are to become an instant grandma and your life will be full of little ones to love without the wait. Get to know your future grandchildren; spoil them if you dare. While complex issues often surround second marriages, most couples can work out any problems as long as they love each other enough to do what is needed to make the union work. Make it as easy as possible for your child to take on parenthood along with a mate. Offer help where you can. Be there to listen, yet remain objective on issues involving ex-somebodies, which may arise. Too old! Perhaps you really like the guy or gal your offspring has chosen, but there's a nagging problem—their age difference is too great. If the age span is five years or less, we parents can usually deal with, it comfortably, knowing he and your daughter are of the same generation. However, if the intended is your age, you think, cradle robber. What can he or she possibly have in common with someone that young? You cringe when you think of them having sex. What if this fellow is looking to revive youth through marrying a younger woman? And, if it's his first marriage, what held him back so long? Maybe he's a mama's boy--or a gigolo. If he's been married before and has children, you worry that your daughter may be denied motherhood, that he's done with all that. While it's more common for older fellows to seek young women, there are many successful unions of older women to younger men. Still, you worry. Is your son going to be treated as a child? Is she too old to have children—denying you grandchildren? If she's your age, do you feel in competition with her for your son's love and attention? May-December marriages can and do work out well. I know a couple who have been together for over 15 years. He's sixty something and she's thirty. They love each other dearly, have friends of all ages, travel extensively, and own a fabulous home. However, the young woman knows and accepts that she may never have her own child. So, mom, don't fret. The up side of an older mate is that you and dad have gained a son or daughter-in-law that has lived through the same things you have so bonding will be a snap. And, as long as love is true, your child will have a good life. You don't want this marriage! Things don't always work out the way we'd like them to. What if you never liked a particular boyfriend or girlfriend, and you like this person less now that marriage is on the horizon. Your feelings may be real and not necessarily unfounded. You suspect the guy is abusive: he tosses insults at your daughter like confetti, always putting her down. Or, that girl your son loves barely speaks to you. Will you ever see your son once they are married? the concerns go on... He's a cheapskate. She can't cook. He can't hold down a job. She has no manners! Yes, we parents can be super critical; but, even if our worries are justified, our influence is limited. We can suggest and advise, but no longer order change. We deal with our cards as they are dealt us, even if it means maintaining a blank face with a poor hand because it's a parent's only choice. We can always hope, once we're through playing the game, that our child either has won a suitable mate or averted a potentially bad marriage.