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Erica Rand, a self-identified middle-aged figure-skating dyke college teacher took up figure skating at age 43. As she became increasingly immersed in the world of adult competition (she participated in the Gay Games and the Adult Nationals), she found herself focusing her research on the world of skating. Here in a series of short, witty, and incisive essays, she reflects on the sexualization of female skaters, the hairdos and costumes, racial bias in movement genres and athletic standards, and whether or not a dyke like her should really be playing hockey.