Smart Parenting During and After Divorce: The Essential Guide to Making Divorce Easier on Your Child

by Favaro, Peter

• ISBN13: 9780071597555
• ISBN10: 0071597557
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2008-12-10
• Publisher: McGraw Hill

Summary

No matter how much you and your ex love your children, they will still find themselves between two warring factions fighting over custody, visitation, and money. Author Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D., has seen literally thousands of cases just like yours, and he knows how to transform an ugly, high-conflict divorce into a smarter, more civilized process for the sake of your children. The "smart" part of Smart Parenting During and After Divorce is all about trading the momentary relief of venting anger and frustration at your spouse for the benefit of raising healthier, happier, less-stressed children. Book jacket.

Author Biography

Peter J. Favaro, Ph.D., is a psychologist and executive director of Smart Parenting: The Family Center, which provides court services to high-conflict individuals and families. He has handled more than six thousand custody cases in the state of New York.

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Table of Contents

Preface	p. ix
Understanding Your Conflict
Smart Parenting During and After Divorce	p. 3
The Common Threads of Conflict	p. 5
Assessing Your Level of Conflict	p. 11
The Art of Avoiding War: How to De-Escalate Conflict	p. 14
Seek Neutral Input to Solve Problems	p. 19
How to Negotiate with a Reasonable Co-Parent	p. 21
How to Communicate with a Reasonable Co-Parent	p. 25
How to Negotiate with a Jerk	p. 30
How to Communicate with a Jerk	p. 34
How to Keep Your Cool: Anger Management	p. 40
Revenge: A Dish Best Not Served at All	p. 46
Navigating the Court System
Do I Really Need to Be in Court?	p. 51
Preparing to Interact with Court-Appointed Professionals	p. 54
Appearing Before a Judge	p. 62
The Pitfalls of Taking Matters into Your Own Hands	p. 68
How to Choose a Lawyer	p. 71
How to Get Along with a Lawyer	p. 79
How to Tell Whether Your Lawyer Is Doing a Good Job for You	p. 82
When You Want to Fire Your Lawyer	p. 84
When You Want to Complain About Your Lawyer	p. 86
Co-Parenting Successfully
Telling Children About Divorce	p. 91
Changing Notions of Custody in Society	p. 94
Co-Parenting Responsibilities of the Custodial Parent	p. 97
Co-Parenting Responsibilities of the Visiting Parent	p. 100
Moving and Relocating	p. 104
Co-Parenting in Medical Emergencies	p. 107
Telephone Contact Issues	p. 108
The Importance of Sharing Information	p. 112
Self-Defeating Behavior: Overprotectiveness and Rigidity	p. 114
Divorced Parenting for Ages and Stages
Special Needs of Infants	p. 119
Special Needs of Toddlers and Preschoolers	p. 122
Special Needs of Five- to Eight-Year-Olds	p. 125
Special Needs of Eight- to Twelve-Year-Olds	p. 128
Special Needs of Teens	p. 131
Making Visitation Schedules Work
Understanding Custody and Visitation in Relation to Parenting Influence and Time	p. 137
How to Set Up a Temporary Visitation Schedule	p. 141
How to Set Up a Long-Term Visitation Schedule	p. 144
How to Figure Out Holiday Visitation	p. 151
When to Seek Supervised Visitation	p. 155
Dealing with Common Problems
When Parents Have Different Rules	p. 161
Discipline Problems Related to Divorce	p. 164
Preventing Common Personal and Social Problems Related to Divorce	p. 167
Preventing Academic Problems Related to Divorce	p. 170
Visitation Tantrums	p. 174
Special Concerns and Crisis Situations
When Your Co-Parent Abuses Drugs or Alcohol	p. 183
Protecting Yourself and Your Children Against Violence in the Family	p. 187
What to Do When the Other Parent Speaks Negatively About You to Your Child	p. 192
What to Do When Your Child Is Acting Out Sexually During or After a Visit	p. 199
What to Do When Your Child Tells You He or She Was Hit at the Co-Parent's House	p. 203
Moving On
Introducing Your Child to Your New Partner	p. 209
Stepparenting	p. 215
Your New Beginning	p. 218
Resources	p. 219
Index	p. 223
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