The Surprising Purpose of Anger Beyond Anger Management: Finding the Gift

by Rosenberg, Marshall B.

• ISBN13: 9781892005151
• ISBN10: 1892005158
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2005-04-01
• Publisher: Puddledancer Press

Summary

You can feel it when it hits you. Your face flushes and your vision narrows. Your heartbeat increases as judgmental thoughts flood your mind. Your anger has been triggered, and you're about to say or do something that will likely make it worse. You have an alternative. By practicing the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) process you can use that anger to serve a specific, life-enriching purpose. It tells you that you're disconnected from what you value and that your needs are not being met. Rather than managing your anger by suppressing your feelings or blasting someone with your judgments, Marshall Rosenberg shows you how to use anger to discover what you need, and then how to meet your needs in constructive ways. This booklet will help you apply these four key truths: - People or events may spark your anger but your own judgments are its cause - Judging others as "wrong" prevents you from connecting with your unmet needs - Getting clear about your needs helps you identify solutions satisfying to everyone - Creating strategies focused on meeting your needs transforms anger into positive actions

Author Biography

Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D., is the author of Getting Past the Pain Between Us, The Heart of Social Change, Life-Enriching Education, Nonviolent Communication, Raising Children Compassionately, Teaching Children Compassionately, and We Can Work It Out. He is the founder of the Center for Nonviolent Communication, an international nonprofit organization that teaches peacemaking skills. He lives in La Crescenta, California.

Table of Contents

A Brief Introduction to NVC	p. 1
Anger and NVC	p. 2
It Works Even If Only One Person Applies It	p. 3
Steps to Handling Our Anger	p. 4
The First and Second Steps	p. 4
Evaluating Triggers that Lead to Anger	p. 5
Trigger versus Cause	p. 7
An Illustration of Stimulus versus Cause of Anger	p. 9
The Third Step	p. 10
Judgments	p. 10
Developing a Literacy of Needs	p. 11
The Fourth Step	p. 13
Punishment and Anger	p. 15
Killing People Is Too Superficial	p. 16
Workshop Interactions	p. 19
From Philosophical to Tactical to Practical	p. 21
Example of One Woman's Anger	p. 22
Getting Understanding from Others about Our Feelings and Needs	p. 27
Enjoying the Judgment Show in Your Head	p. 30
Take Your Time	p. 32
An Invitation	p. 33
Anger Sound Bites	p. 34
Some Basic Feelings and Needs We All Have	p. 36
About CNVC and NVC	p. 37
About PuddleDancer Press	p. 38
Trade Books from PuddleDancer Press	p. 39
Trade Booklets from PuddleDancer Press	p. 43
NVC Materials Available from CNVC	p. 44
How You Can Use the NVC Process
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