9781596913097

Talk to the Snail Ten Commandments for Understanding the French

by
  • ISBN13:

    9781596913097

  • ISBN10:

    1596913096

  • Format: Hardcover
  • Copyright: 2006-12-26
  • Publisher: Bloomsbury USA
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Supplemental Materials

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  • The New copy of this book will include any supplemental materials advertised. Please check the title of the book to determine if it should include any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.

Summary

Have you ever walked into a half-empty Parisian restaurant, only to be told that it's "complet"? Attempted to say "merci beaucoup" and accidentally complimented someone's physique? Been overlooked at theboulangeriedue to your adherence to the bizarre foreign custom of waiting in line? Well, you're not alone. The internationally bestselling author ofA Year in the MerdeandIn the Merde for Lovehas been there too, and he is here to help. InTalk to the Snail, Stephen Clarke distills the fruits of years spent in the French trenches into a truly handy (and hilarious) book of advice. Read this book, and find out how to get good service from the grumpiest waiter; be exquisitely polite and brutally rude at the same time; and employ the language ofl'amourandle sexe. Everything you need is here in this funny, informative, and seriously useful guide to getting what you really want from the French.

Author Biography

Stephen Clarke is a British journalist and the internationally bestselling author of A Year in the Merde and In the Merde for Love, which describe the misadventures of Paul West in France. He himself has lived in France for twelve years.

Table of Contents

1 THOU SHALT BE WRONG (if you're not French)
1
Why every Frenchman is 'Monsieur Right'
2 THOU SHALT NOT WORK
27
Why long weekends are good for the French economy
3 THOU' SIIALT EAT
53
Just because it smells of pig's droppings doesn't mean it'll taste like them
4 THOU SHALT BE ILL
79
Getting the best out of the French national drug habit
5 THOU SHALT SPEAK FRENCH
95
Fun ways to mispronounce words and offend people
6 'THOU SHALT NOT SING (in tune, anyway)
115
A French artiste says: 'Pretentious, moi?'
7 THOU SHALT NOT KNOW
133
Don't mention the war, nuclear power, tax or structural surveys
8 THOU SHALT NOT LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR
155
Oui, I am smoking into your dinner, et alors?
9 THOU SHALT NOT BE SERVED
179
Garçon? Waiter? Bonjour? Oh, forget it
10 THOU SHALT BE POLITE (and sunultaneously rude) 207
Bonjour, Madame, vous êtes une idiote
11 THOU SHALT SAY 'I LOVE YOU' 233
The perils of French-style amour
Epilogue 257
Index 259

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