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At home, on the job, in a personal relationship, it's often not what you say but how you say it that counts. Deborah Tannen revolutionized our thinking about relationships between women and men in her #1 bestseller You Just Don't Understand. In That's Not What I Meant!, the internationally renowned sociolinguist and expert on communication demonstrates how our conversational signals-voice level, pitch and intonation, rhythm and timing, even the simple turns of phrase we choose-are powerful factors in the success or failure of any relationship. Regional speech characteristics, ethnic and class backgrounds, age, and individual personality all contribute to diverse conversational styles that can lead to frustration and misplaced blame if ignored-but provide tools to improve relationships if they are understood. At once eye-opening, astute, and vastly entertaining, Tannen's classic work on interpersonal communication will help you to hear what isn't said and to recognize how your personal conversational style meshes or clashes with others. It will give you a new understanding of communication that will enable you to make the adjustments that can save a conversation . . . or a relationship.
Deborah Tannen is Professor of linguistics at Georgetown University in Washington, D.C. Her books include the New York Times bestsellers You Just Don't Understand, You're Wearing THAT?, Talking from 9 to 5, and You Were Always Morn's Favorite!. She has written for and been featured in numerous major newspapers and magazines, including the New York Times, Newsweek, USA Today, the Washington Post, and Time.
Table of Contents
|Linguistics And Conversational Style||p. 15|
|The Problem Is The Process||p. 17|
|The Workings Of Conversational Style||p. 29|
|Conversational Signals And Devices||p. 45|
|Conversational Signals||p. 47|
|Conversational Devices At Work||p. 54|
|Conversational Strategies||p. 63|
|Why We Don't Say What We Mean||p. 65|
|Why We Won't Say What We Mean||p. 66|
|Why We Can't Say What We Mean||p. 71|
|Framing And Reframing||p. 82|
|Power And Solidarity||p. 101|
|Talking At Home: Conversational Style in Close Relationships||p. 119|
|Why Things Get Worse||p. 121|
|Talk In The Intimate Relationship: His And Hers||p. 133|
|The Intimate Critic||p. 152|
|What You Can And Can't Do With Conversational Style||p. 175|
|Talking About Ways Of Talking||p. 177|
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