9780345406903

Understanding Men's Passages

by
  • ISBN13:

    9780345406903

  • ISBN10:

    0345406907

  • Edition: 1st
  • Format: Trade Paper
  • Copyright: 1999-05-04
  • Publisher: Ballantine Books

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Summary

Her stunning bestsellers Passages and New Passages brilliantly mapped the changes we live through from youth to maturity. Now Gail Sheehy guides contemporary men through the turbulent challenges and surprising pleasures that begin at forty. As a man crosses that threshold, he is bound to ask midlife's most troubling question: Now what? Work anxieties, concerns over sexual potency, marital and family stress, issues of power, all take on new urgency as men contemplate the decades ahead. But as Gail Sheehy reveals in this major new book, midlife is precisely the period when men are most likely to reinvent themselves and become masters of their fate. In Understanding Men's Passages, Sheehy offers all men--and the women in their lives--an essential guide to self-discovery. Hundreds of bold, imaginative men--celebrities as well as everyday heroes--share here their most intimate desires, deepest fears, and most fervent cravings for renewal. Decade by decade, Sheehy uncovers the real issues facing men today: finding new passion and purpose to invigorate the second half of their lives, dealing with "manopause," surviving job change, enjoying post-nesting zest, defeating depression, and learning what keeps a man young. Informative and inspiring, grounded in fact and full of fascinating life stories, Understanding Men's Passages is a landmark that will take its place beside Gail Sheehy's epoch-making Passages and New Passages.

Author Biography

Millions of readers defined their lives through Gail Sheehy's landmark work, Passages, and through its bestselling sequel, New Passages. Among her twelve books is the huge international bestseller that broke the taboo around menopause, The Silent Passage. Ms. Sheehy is also a political journalist and contributing editor to Vanity Fair. The mother of two daughters, she divides her time between New York City and Berkeley, California, where she lives with her husband, editor and lecturer Clay Felker.<br><br><br><i>From the Hardcover edition.</i>

Table of Contents

Author's Notep. 17
Acknowledgmentsp. 31
What Do Men Want?
It's a Guy Thingp. 35
Are You Prepared for Another Life?p. 46
But I'm Not Ready!p. 51
The Need to Know and the Fear of Knowingp. 54
The Eight-Hundred-Pound Gorillap. 57
The New Map of Adult Lifep. 62
The Wife's Nightmarep. 67
What to Do with All This Leftover Life?p. 71
Flourishing Forties
Why Do I Still Feel Like a Kid?p. 79
The Vanity Crisisp. 83
A Flagrant Freedomp. 90
The Father-Son Midlife Power Strugglep. 97
When You Comin' Home, Son?p. 99
The Dead Fatherp. 101
The Midlife Delinquentp. 105
Manhood on Trialp. 112
Yuppie Playing Catch-upp. 113
Banker "Excessed" at Homep. 115
The Sole Breadwinner's Insecuritiesp. 115
The Idealist's Angstp. 116
A Hard Time to Be a Man in His Fortiesp. 121
Confronting the "False Self"p. 124
Are You What You Smoke?p. 127
"The Big Impossible"p. 130
The Reluctant Fatherp. 136
First Fatality Jittersp. 140
Moving Up the Mortality Markersp. 146
Honor Among Menp. 149
Manly Sports: More Than Just a Gamep. 152
Current Manhood Modelsp. 157
Married and Mortalp. 175
The Aha! Momentp. 175
The Heart of the Matterp. 180
The Stonewaller's Defensep. 189
The Trouble with Wivesp. 195
Fearless Fifties
Passage to Your Second Adulthoodp. 203
The Samson Complexp. 206
Mature Masculinityp. 212
Former Pro Football Starp. 217
Geezer in Graduate Schoolp. 218
Globe-trotting Journalist Turns Gardenerp. 219
The Fearless Professorp. 223
Beyond Powerp. 228
Barry Diller's Search for Selfp. 235
Prospero's Passagep. 244
Welcome to the Age of Influencep. 248
Redirect Your Life Before the Hammer Fallsp. 254
The Dark Night of Joe O'Dellp. 257
Destructive Defensesp. 262
The Comeback of Joe O'Dellp. 265
They'll Never Fire Mep. 268
The Rebirthp. 273
The Window of Opportunityp. 278
Midlife Money Realitiesp. 280
What Could Spook John Wayne?p. 283
Give Up "I'm the Big Shot"p. 285
Building a Teamp. 289
Opening the Spiritual Dimensionp. 292
Find Your Passion and Pursue Itp. 298
Love and War with Wives, Fathers, Childrenp. 303
From Competing to Connectingp. 305
Gender Crossover: Comfort or Crisis?p. 309
Coaching the Coachp. 313
Withholding Sexp. 320
The Safety Net Wifep. 324
Making the Crossover Workp. 331
Brain-Sex Changesp. 333
Mellowing Outp. 336
Empty Heartp. 337
Mr. Momp. 340
Father Hungerp. 343
Letting Go of a Growing Sonp. 344
How Many Men Friends Can You Count?p. 349
The Nest Is Empty -- Are You Ready for Love in the Morning?p. 355
Who's Afraid of Male Menopause?
The Male Sexual Life Cyclep. 361
Magical Expectationsp. 362
The Male Sexual Life Cyclep. 369
The Unspeakable Passagep. 376
Men Behaving Intelligentlyp. 383
Mind over Manlinessp. 389
Secrets of Perpetual Virilityp. 391
Would You Rather Have Steak and a Smoke Than Be a Sexual Athlete?p. 392
Magic Bulletsp. 397
When Sunday-Afternoon Football Is Better Than Sexp. 401
Free Testosterone!p. 404
DHEA: A Man's Master Hormonep. 408
Chemical Machismop. 409
Couples Workp. 414
The Testimonial Womanp. 422
Teaming Up to Find the Right Treatmentp. 424
Influential Sixties
Passage to the Age of Integrityp. 429
Secrets of Well-being in the Sixtiesp. 431
Imagining the Paul McCartney Retirement Homep. 436
Don't Retire! Redirect!p. 438
Looking for Your Postcareer Careerp. 442
His and Her Retirement Fantasiesp. 446
Progress Versus Despairp. 452
The Black Tempestp. 455
Don't Back Up, Severe Tire Damage!p. 460
Help Is Not Hard to Getp. 464
I Am Not Having a Heart Attack!p. 469
Absorbing the Blows of Fatep. 474
What Keeps a Man Young?
Unconventional Wisdomp. 481
Do Men Have to Die Earlier Than Women?p. 485
Unretired Championsp. 490
Growing and Regenerating Brainp. 497
Spiritual Hungerp. 501
Love in the Twilight of Lifep. 503
A Lusty Winterp. 505
Appendices
Appendix Ap. 511
Passage to Your Second Adulthood
Coping with Job Lossp. 511
Strategies for Surviving Job Loss in Middle Lifep. 513
Resources: Career Counselorsp. 516
Appendix Bp. 518
Love and War with Wives, Fathers, Children
Resources: Couples Therapyp. 518
Appendix Cp. 520
Secrets of Perpetual Virility
Shopping for a Doctor/Male Health Clinicp. 520
Resources: Physicians and Therapists for Sexual Health Issuesp. 521
Appendix Dp. 525
Passage to the Age of Integrity
Preretirement Couples Exercisesp. 525
Appendix Ep. 527
Progress Versus Despair
Warning Signs of Depressionp. 527
Bibliographyp. 529
Table of Contents provided by Syndetics. All Rights Reserved.

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