The White Knight Syndrome

by Lamia, Mary C.

• ISBN13: 9781572246249
• ISBN10: 1572246243
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2009-06-01
• Publisher: New Harbinger Pubns Inc

Summary

White knights--also known as rescuers, fixers, or enablers-are men or women who are attracted to seemingly weak, damaged, and vulnerable partners.The White Knight Syndromeidentifies and explores this common relationship pattern and helps these individuals build the skills they need to develop healthy, balanced relationships.

Author Biography

Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst in private practice in Marin County, CA, and a professor at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, CA. Marilyn J. Krieger, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Marin County, CA.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	p. ix
Introduction	p. 1
The Contemporary White Knight
Behind the Motivation to Rescue
Who This Book Is For
Why We Wrote This Book
What This Book Covers
Let's Begin
White Knight Basics	p. 7
White Knight Commonalities
The Subtypes
The Rescuer Who May Also Be the Rescued
The White Knight Syndrome
The White Knightin Training	p. 25
Attachment and Your Brain
Relationships Create Beliefs
Little Rescuers
Taking the Blame
Shame and Inadequacy
The Little White Knight Grows Up
Summing Up
Heart of the Knight	p. 39
Conceptualizing Altruism
The Altruism-Empathy Connection
Conceptualizing Empathy
Empathy and the Brain
Empathy and the White Knight
White Knight Altruism
The Complexity of Motivation
Summing Up
White Knight Self-Protection	p. 53
Your Self
Protecting Your Self
Trapped in the Armor: A White Knight's Dream
Summing Up
Knight Stories: The Overly Empathic White Knight	p. 67
Understanding Betsy
Understanding Ron
Overly Empathic Patterns
Summing Up
Knight Stories: The Tarnished White Knight	p. 91
Understanding Brad
Understanding Kimberly
Tarnished Patterns
Summing Up
Knight Stories: The Terrorizing/Terrified White Knight	p. 115
Understanding Brenda
Understanding Victor
Terrorizing/Terrified Patterns
Summing Up
The Rescued	p. 139
The Two Categories of Rescued Partners
White Knight or Rescued: Who Is Who?
Variations of the Rescued
Summing Up
The Balanced Rescuer	p. 155
Understanding Denise
Understanding Keith
Balanced Rescuer Patterns
Summing Up
White KnightSelf-Reflection	p. 179
Self-Perspective
Rescuing Yourself
Final Reflections
References	p. 195
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