The Widower's Toolbox Repairing Your Life After Losing Your Spouse

by Schaefer, G. J.; Bekkers, Tom

• ISBN13: 9780882823454
• ISBN10: 0882823450
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2010-05-18
• Publisher: New Horizon Press

Summary

The death of a spouse has a powerful impact on the widowed partner's life. However, there is a very distinct difference in the way males and females mourn the losses of loved ones. Most men work hard to keep their grief to themselves, maintain stoic emotional control and refrain from asking others for help.

Author Biography

Gerald J. Schaefer draws from his twenty-six-year career experience managing people and dealing with many of the issues facing him and his young sons after the loss of his wife to breast cancer. He has been a large capital Project Manager in the paper, pharmaceutical and, most recently, in the utility industry and has a chemical engineering degree from the University of Wisconsin. He lives with his two sons in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Tom Bekkers, MSW, APSW, is a licensed Psychotherapist/Advanced Practice Social Worker with over twenty years experience in professional counseling relating to patients and family members faced with the challenges of health situations, lifestyle adjustment issues, death and grief. Bekkers holds a Master's Degree from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. For more than two decades, he has worked in a hospital setting and serves as the facilitator of the "Understanding Grief" group and "Taking Time" cancer support group. He resides in Denmark, Wisconsin, with his wife and two daughters.

Table of Contents

Preface	p. xi
Introduction	p. 1
Picking Up the Pieces
Contact Other Professionals	p. 7
Enter Basic Training	p. 19
Establish New Traditions	p. 30
Break Bread	p. 36
Seek the Prayer Connection	p. 41
Get Help!	p. 47
Get a Body/Mind/Spirit Tune-Up	p. 52
Become Inspired	p. 61
Learn to Meditate	p. 67
Use Affirmations	p. 74
Make and Keep Friends	p. 80
Healing From Within
Construct a Memory Box	p. 87
Gather a Scrapbook	p. 91
Cherish Personal Effects	p. 95
Wear Me, Feel Me	p. 99
Act Carefree as a Child	p. 104
Write a Love Letter	p. 110
Join the Chain Gang	p. 116
Go Natural	p. 120
Light a Candle	p. 126
Begin Workouts	p. 130
Remember Your Song	p. 135
Frame Memories	p. 140
Send a Message	p. 145
Create a Comforting Object	p. 151
Celebrate	p. 155
Plant a Memorial Garden	p. 160
Choose to Read	p. 164
Imagine the Other Side	p. 169
Keep Memories in Motion	p. 174
Find a New Best Friend	p. 177
Harbor No More Regrets	p. 182
Giving Back to Others
Show Gratitude	p. 191
Do a Good Turn	p. 195
Develop a Product with a Cause	p. 202
Loving Again
Share Lessons Learned	p. 208
Clothe Others	p. 214
Bestow a Seat	p. 218
Gain a New Perspective	p. 223
Send Your Sympathies	p. 229
Appreciate Love and Marriage	p. 234
Afterword	p. 243
Appendix	p. 244
Acknowledgments	p. 246
Resources	p. 248
References	p. 253
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