Worst Laid Plans When Bad Sex Happens to Good People

by Lydon, Alexandra; Kindred, Laura

• ISBN13: 9780810989023
• ISBN10: 0810989026
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2010-04-01
• Publisher: Harry N. Abrams

Summary

"When bad sex happens to good people, there is no recourse like full disclosure," is the motto ofWorst Laid Plans, a collection of forty probably-too-intimate, but shockingly funny, true-life tales of lust gone wrong. The stories are divided into themed sections including Foreign Affairs ("When bad sex goes abroad"), Self-Help ("Love thyself...but do it carefully"), On the Rebound ("The art of getting back in-and-out-there"), Mob Mentality (People will do things in groups they would never do alone"), and The End of Innocence ("A memorial to virginity") among others. The book evolved out of a storytelling event originally staged at Upright Citizen Brigade, the highly influential comedy organization co-founded by Amy Poehler, who along with Janeane Garofalo and SNL's Casey Wilson, performed at the show that continues today. PartVagina Monologues, part car crash, and wholly hilarious, the volume features contributions from shameless actors, comedians, and writers who will shamelessly spread the word via blogs, on-line videos, tweets, on-going WLP performances, film/TV/media contacts, and further sexual conquests.

Author Biography

Alexandra Lydon, originally from Boston and a graduate of NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts, is currently a Los Angeles-based actress who has appeared on 24, Prison Break, CSI, Desperate Housewives, and House.
 
Laura Kindred, raised in Greater Boston and also a graduate of NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts, is currently a fashion writer and Senior Site Editor for a California-based fashion company.  She previously served as Copy Director at Ralph Lauren.

Table of Contents

About the Stage Show	p. x
Foreword	p. xi
Introduction	p. xiii
The End of Innocence
Confessions of a Teenage Mime	p. 2
The Virgin Queen	p. 6
Puff the Un-Magic Dragon	p. 10
You Bet Your Ass "The Flying Buttress"	p. 13
Self-Help
Caught Dick-Handed	p. 18
A Cushion for the Pushini	p. 25
Relationshit
How He Became My Number One by Taking Care of My Number Two	p. 30
My Fast Boyfriend	p. 35
A Bedtime Story	p. 40
Hong Kong Bottom	p. 45
Pie in the Sky	p. 51
Mob Mentality
Whore Next Door	p. 58
That Time I Molested a Girl Who Had a Mustache	p. 62
Foreign Affairs
Trapped in the Closet	p. 68
The Farting Rapist	p. 72
An American Alcoholic in London	p. 80
A Wilde Night in Paris	p. 86
The Size and Shape of Things
Fatty and the Fake Dick	p. 92
The "M" Word	p. 98
The Way-Too-Personal Assistant	p. 105
Words of Mouth
Face Fucked by an Elephant Man	p. 112
Cuddlewhore	p. 116
Can't Blow Me Love	p. 122
Going Against the Gay
Coming In	p. 130
Get Your Titty off My Thigh	p. 136
Homosexual Schmomosexual	p. 140
Kink About It
Red	p. 148
Foot Slave	p. 155
Near-Death Sexperiences
Poké-pon	p. 164
I Got Her Number, She Got My Digit	p. 168
On the Rebound
Model Behavior	p. 174
Sleeps with Dogs	p. 185
Two Households, One A'Lacking Dignity	p. 190
A Sexual Journey
Rub-a-Dub-Dub, Thanks for the ... Nub?	p. 198
Here Comes the Late Bloomer	p. 201
Unsent Letters	p. 206
A Sonnet	p. 213
Glossary	p. 214
Crossword Puzzle	p. 218
About the Editors	p. 220
About the Contributors	p. 221
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