You Know You're a Republican/Democrat If

by Benjamin, Frank

• ISBN13: 9781402244100
• ISBN10: 140224410X
• Edition: 2nd
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2010-08-03
• Publisher: Sourcebooks Inc

Summary

This updated laugh-out-loud take on partisan stereotypes skewers both sides of the political aisle with equal glee. The follies and foibles that make the political world spin will trigger guffaws and giggles-no matter which party you call your own. You Know You're a REPUBLICAN If... You're really looking forward to Sarah Palin running for president. You think Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh are intellectual powerhouses, and you've learned much from their wisdom. You philosophically oppose government welfare plans, but you cash your Social Security checks religiously. You've accepted that global warming is real, but you don't believe we should recklessly raise taxes to fix it. You have, however, invested in future beachfront property-twenty miles inland. You Know You're a DEMOCRAT If.. You're really, really looking forward to Sarah Palin running for president. Everything you know about politics you learned from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. You're philosophically appalled by corporate America's emphasis on profits, but you sure were ticked off when your retirement investments tanked. For a long time now you've known that: The sky is falling! The sky is falling! No, wait. The sky is cooking! The sky is cooking!

Excerpts

<p>You Know You're a Republican If...</p><p>You're really looking forward to Sarah Palin running for president.<br><br>You Know You're a DEMOCRAT If...<br><br>You're really, <i>really</i>looking forward to Sarah Palin running for president</p><p>You Know You're a Republican If...</p><p>The far left leaning of President Obama is making you look forward to the next election because it will help Republicans win back congressional seats.</p><p>You Know You're a DEMOCRAT If...</p><p>You didn't notice that President Obama has a far left leaning.</p><p>You Know You're a Republican If...</p><p>You start off on third base and think you've hit a triple.</p><p>You Know You're a DEMOCRAT If...</p><p>You hit a single but believe you deserve a triple because the other team got one.</p><p>You Know You're a Republican If...</p><p>You can't stand your gay uncle, but you invite him to your son's wedding because he's rich.</p><p>You Know You're a DEMOCRAT If...</p><p>You can't stand your rich uncle, but you invite him to your daughter's graduation party because he's gay.</p><p>You Know You're a Republican If...</p><p>You're quietly disappointed that the Iraq War turned into such a quagmire, but you're sure we'll get it right when we invade Iran.</p><p>You Know You're a DEMOCRAT If...</p><p>You're strongly opposed to any military intervention in the sovereign affairs of other countries, unless Obama tells you it's the right thing to do.</p>