Before the Mortgage Real Stories of Brazen Loves, Broken Leases, and the Perplexing Pursuit of Adulthood

by Amini, Christina; Hutton, Rachel

• ISBN13: 9781416913580
• ISBN10: 1416913580
• eBook ISBN(s): 9781416940821
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2006-04-01
• Publisher: Gallery Books
• More Book Details
• Purchase Benefits

Summary

The swank apartment, the killer job, and the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend haven't yet fallen into place. Is thisreallyadulthood? Welcome to life before the mortgage. Here's what you need to know.Christina Amini and Rachel Hutton have brought together the very best writing on this unpredictable -- and often hilarious -- time. This book features essays by celebrated writers such as Joel Stein, Thisbe Nissen, Thomas Beller,Foundmagazine's Davy Rothbart, andReadyMade's Shoshana Berger, as well as exciting new writers.

Author Biography

Friends and collaborators Rachel Hutton and Christina Amini started the zine Before the Mortgage after leaving their first nine-to-five jobs in New York. Christina is an associate editor at Chronicle Books in San Francisco. Rachel, an editor and writer for Minnesota Monthly, lives in Minneapolis.

Table of Contents

Introduction	1	(4)
WORK: STILL AN INTERN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS
Put Your Best Face Forward	5	(4)
by David Kolek
I Was an Entry-Level Fiction Writer	9	(11)
by Thisbe Nissen
Regrettable Interview Quotes	18	(2)
Confessions of a Professional Flunky	20	(5)
by Barbara Rushkoff
Getaway	25	(7)
as told to Ariana Lamorte
Outstanding Intern Moments	30	(2)
Portrait of the Bagel as a Young Man	32	(24)
by Thomas Beller
Overheard in the Cubicle	54	(2)
Brian-Sensei	56	(7)
by Brian Grivna
HOME: WHERE THE COCKROACHES ARE
The First Thanksgiving	63	(29)
by Sarah Vowell
Apartment Search Horror Stories	69	(2)
Paradise Considered	71	(15)
by Evan Ratliff
Roommate Pet Peeves	84	(2)
In My Tribe	86	(6)
by Ethan Walters
Budget Recipes	90	(2)
People Like You	92
by Sarah Eisenstein
Parents Are the New Friends	98	(6)
by Rachel Hutton
"So...Are You Two Together?"	104
by Pagan Kennedy
LOVE: THE FLING, THE DISASTER, "THE ONE"
Taking Off	11	(166)
by Davy Rothbart
On the Fringes of the Physical World	120	(14)
by Meghan Daum
Fake Dating	134	(14)
by Tim Gihring
He Said/She Said in The X-Factor	138	(8)
by Sasha Cagen
Relationship Red Flags	146	(2)
Always a Bridesmaid	148	(6)
by Christina Amini
Top Ten Signs He Might Not Be Prince Charming	154	(2)
by Opal Desaire
On Finding the It Guy: An Inquiry into the You'll Know Theory	156	(15)
by Shoshana Berger
Unacceptable Dating Behavior	166	(5)
LIFE: FROM COSTCO TO YOGA AND BACK
Peaking at Ten	171	(6)
by Anna Chlumsky
Costco-Obsessive Disorder	177	(12)
by Carson Brown
Forty-three Tickets for Brooklyn	182	(7)
by Jordan Harrison
The Breakfast Club	189	(5)
by Joel Stein
Budget Living	192	(2)
Co-op Confessional	194	(9)
by Catherine Price
Another One Rides the Cometbus	203	(7)
by Jessica Nordell
Last Twenty-four Hours in New York	210	(11)
by Rachel Hutton and Christina Amini
Things to Do Before the Mortgage	218	(3)
Contributors	221	(6)
Acknowledgments	227

Excerpts

INTRODUCTION

We're post-college and pre-picket fence. We're technically adults, but we don't always feel like it. Everything -- work, home, love, life -- hasn't exactly fallen into place as we imagined it would. But we're not ready to settle down, settle up, or settle for less. We like to say we're "before the mortgage."

This book began when we quit our first-jobs-out-of-college and left New York City, where we'd spent two years living in apartments with more roommates than bedrooms, trading stories of awkward first dates and job interviews (how different are they, really?). We moved back to our respective hometowns and started a zine calledBefore the Mortgageto explore the rite of passage we were undergoing: the school-to-work transition. We wrote essays, compiled quotes, and created photo collages about such topics as crazy coworkers, so-called relationships, and moving back in with our folks.

When our parents were our age, they were already married. Most people they knew didn't live far from where they grew up, and they expected to have one lifelong career. In contrast, our friends are pairing off later and later, and they hop from coast to coast, career to career. (The two of us have changed addresses five times in the past five years.) What we thought was going to be a short transitional period turned out to be a new life stage.

The zine helped us answer the pressing questions of an unstable time: where to live, what to do, who to love, how to be, and when to leave. How else could we make sense of a world in which Rachel snuck into the mailroom atJanemagazine trying to get a job (no dice) and Christina went out with a guy she didn't like only because her apartment didn't have heat (his car had butt warmers)?Before the Mortgage's readers and writers found solidarity in vulnerability; by telling candid stories, we could laugh at the missteps and learn from each other.

In putting together this essay collection, we selected a few beloved pieces from the zine and sought contributions from our favorite young writers: people who voiced fresh insights when reflecting on the issues facing nascent adults. Whether writing about unglamorous temp work or finding the It Guy, they spoke to us, they challenged us, and they made us laugh out loud. To use the words of E. M. Forster, our contributors are "sensitive for others as well as for themselves, they are considerate without being fussy, their pluck is not swankiness but the power to endure, and they can take a joke."

So you see,Before the Mortgagehas little to do with actually obtaining a mortgage, but more to do with exploring your own vision/version/definition of what it means to be an adult. Those of you who are currently packing up, quitting jobs, breaking up, and breaking down, this book is for you. But those of you making mortgage payments or not yet paying rent shouldn't feel excluded. If you're questioning your place in it all, you're before the mortgage at heart.

-- Christina Amini and Rachel Hutton

Copyright © 2006 by Christina Amini and Rachel Hutton

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Excerpted from Before the Mortgage: Real Stories of Brazen Loves, Broken Leases, and the Perplexing Pursuit of Adulthood
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.