Black Brogues and French Knickers

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  • Format: Paperback
  • Copyright: 2012-02-15
  • Publisher: Textstream
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Jasmin Pink's story takes you on a wonderful holiday. The description Ms Pink gives you of the Sandy Beach Hotel, the Kenya Safari, and the different types of animals that Jay sees, have you feeling like you are there with her. The details are so good that you almost feel the heat. You also enjoy the company that Jay keeps when she meets Fred and Gladys. They are a very cute couple with a cockney accent and will keep you in stitches. This book is raunchy but if you are a fan of British shows it is something I know you will enjoy. This is Ms Pink's first book and I am sure it will not be her last. She must give us a sequel to this book and bring Fred and Gladys back. Ms Pink has a way of telling you a story and leading you one way and then handing you a very big surprise that you would never expect. I want to say how much I liked the British humor and characters. I could understand everything they said, it comes from watching the British Sit Coms on American TV. I drive my husband nuts with them. I would also like you to tell Jasmin that she threw me for a loop.... with the ending. I did enjoy the book it took me by surprise at the end. I never expected it to end the way it did. Jasmin has a great way of surprising you. She should keep up the good work. - Lydia Funneman - - USA - 24/07/03


...all her personal belongings had started to roll off her suitcase, leaning over to stop the unremitting flow she regrettably caught the case with her knee which in turn propelled everything across the airport floor. In a frenzy of activity Jay managed to grab the lipsticks, the chewing gum, deodorant and pants and shoved them back into the "Black Hole" that was her bag. However, the remainder were still on the move. She caught sight of a tampon making a get away and made a clumsy grab for it, but unfortunately the tampon escaped her clutches, managing only to impede it's capture as she clipped it with the tip of her finger thereby giving it a momentum that spun it through the air, acquiring a life of it's own. She watched, frozen in the posture of a ten-pin bowler, as the small white object went soaring through the air, like a miniature torpedo, following it's progress until it finally dropped to the ground, spinning around and around putting more ground between her and it, until finally it came to a stop, halted by a pair of highly polished black shoes! Remaining in a crouched position Jay's eyes were transfixed on the destination of the tampon some six or seven metres away and on the black shiny shoes, the right one of which was gently tapping beside the offending article. She instinctively knew that it was now too late to ignore the tampon; she now had no option but to reclaim it! Dreading making eye contact with the owner of the shiny black shoes (so evidently belonging to a man), she remained crouched over her suitcase, trying to look unperturbed, but failing miserably. Keeping her head still, she slowly raised her eyes upwards from the shoes to the bottom of a pair of navy jeans and so her eyes began their journey onwards and upwards. However, not so perturbed that she could not acknowledge the well-formed thighs, under the tight fitting jeans. As her eyes carried on they became rooted to the so obviously unrestrained prominence between this strangers legs; the large bulge making it clearly evident what side this man dressed! The realisation took her breath away, she could feel her temperature rising and her pulse rate increasing. Contain yourself woman, she muttered under her breath. Anyone would think you hadn't seen a well-endowed man before. Well she hadn't, not one that size any way! She reluctantly pleaded with her eyes to move on again and so progressed to the flat stomach, a shiny black leather belt around his waist with an unostentatious gold buckle securing it, appearing to glint at her in a cheeky sort of way as though having read her guilty imaginings. Progressing as far as the pale blue sweater tucked into the waistband of his jeans when, of necessity, she blinked and in that split second of blindness Mr Toe Tapper took her by surprise as she now found herself staring at a ruggedly handsome face; complete with lopsided grin that made it plainly obvious that he found her embarrassment highly amusing. It was blatantly clear that he had deliberately and calculatingly leant forward, with the sole intention of making eye contact with her. Realising no doubt that it would have taken her an interminable amount of time to traverse his body, as she was certainly making a meal of it. Jay was transfixed by his stare; even from a distance she could see he had a knowing look upon his face, as though he had read her every thought. With that possibility in her mind, she turned a beetroot red, remembering her pilgrimage along the contours of his lower body. Then, as though someone had clicked his or her fingers, she was once more on firm ground, roused from her hypnotic trance, only to look on in dismay as he leant forward and picked up the tampon. To add to her uneasiness he held it aloft, holding it upright between his fingers for all and sundry to see, calling across to her in a very audible tone saying, "Madam, is this yours by any chance"? Well, if the ground could have opened up Jay would willingly have jumped into it. However, she decided to brazen it out, taking a deep breath she made a wild dash over to this beast of man to retrieve the tampon and put a stop to him waving such a personal object about for all and sundry to see. Oh, oh, BIG MISTAKE! About a metre away from him she skidded, her legs going from under her and with arms splayed out in front, her body lunging forward, she grabbed him about his firm thighs in an attempt to stop herself falling heavily to the ground. This, however, meant that her face ended up between his legs, which may have been quite pleasant in different circumstances. Her head hit him forcefully, winding him, his legs crumpled, causing him to fall backwards onto the ground. Jay all dignity now lost, red faced and dishevelled, was now in a very awkward position, spread-eagled on top of him. He was a big man, in more ways than one and he appeared to be in agony. Jay thought that she must of head butted him in his crown jewels. She imagined for an instant at the pain he must be experiencing and grimaced sympathetically, but only for an instant, as now all she wanted to do was to get off this mountain of a man and regain her composure. However, each time she made a move to detach herself from him the more he groaned, she didn't want to add to his pain seeing as she was the cause of it, so all she could do was lay still, all the time apologising profusely, hoping that he would eventually stop groaning long enough for her to remove herself, which he didn't seem about to do.

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