Boundaries : When to Say YES, When to Say NO to Take Control of Your Life

by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

• ISBN13: 9780310247456
• ISBN10: 0310247454
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2002-03-01
• Publisher: Zondervan

Summary

Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances -- Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions -- Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others -- Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator -- Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask: - Can I set limits and still be a loving person? - What are legitimate boundaries? - What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries? - How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? - Aren't boundaries selfish? - Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries? Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer biblically-based answers to these and other tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	9	(4)
PART I WHAT ARE BOUNDARIES?
A Day in a Boundaryless Life	13	(14)
What Does a Boundary Look Like?	27	(22)
Boundary Problems	49	(12)
How Boundaries Are Developed	61	(22)
Ten Laws of Boundaries	83	(20)
Common Boundary Myths	103	(20)
PART II BOUNDARY CONFLICTS
Boundaries and Your Family	123	(14)
Boundaries and Your Friends	137	(13)
Boundaries and Your Spouse	150	(17)
Boundaries and Your Children	167	(26)
Boundaries and Work	193	(15)
Boundaries and Your Self	208	(20)
Boundaries and God	228	(11)
PART III DEVELOPING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
Resistance to Boundaries	239	(30)
How to Measure Success with Boundaries	269	(18)
A Day in a Life with Boundaries	287	(10)
Notes	297	(2)
Index	299