Candide

by Voltaire

• ISBN13: 9781416500308
• ISBN10: 1416500308
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2005-06-01
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Summary

One of the world's great satires since its first publication in 1759. Witty, caustic skewering of romance, science, philosophy, religion, government - nearly all human ideals and institutions.

Author Biography

Voltaire was the nom de plume of Francois Marie Arouet (1694-1778). One of the most famous French writers, his works embrace almost every branch of literature--poetry, drama, romance, history, philosophy, and science. The years between his birth and death overlapped those of famous early scientists such as Sir Isaac Newton, Anton van Leeuwenhoek, Edmund Halley, Joseph Priestly, and Benjamin Franklin. Voltaire's writings brought him fame and fortune, but also brought trouble. His advocacy of freedom of speech and religion, along with attacks on the Church and the French nobility, resulted in two prison terms in the Bastille and years of exile from France. Yet Voltaire's works eventually catalyzed the French Revolution, and secured his lasting memory as a hero of all the free world.

Table of Contents

An Appreciation	p. 1
How Candide was brought up in a beautiful castle, and how he was driven from it	p. 17
What happened to Candide among the Bulgars	p. 19
How Candide escaped from the Bulgars, and what happened to him	p. 22
How Candide met his former philosophy teacher, Dr. Pangloss, and what ensued	p. 25
Storm, shipwreck and earthquake, and what happened to Dr. Pangloss, Candide and James the Anabaptist	p. 28
How a fine auto-da-fe was performed to prevent earthquakes, and how Candide was flogged	p. 31
How an old woman took care of Candide, and how he found the object of his love	p. 32
Cunegonde's story	p. 34
What happened to Cunegonde, Candide, the Grand Inquisitor and the Jew	p. 37
How Candide, Cunegonde and the old woman arrived at Cadiz in great distress, and how they set sail from there	p. 40
The old woman's story	p. 42
Further misfortunes of the old woman	p. 46
How Candide was forced to leave the fair Cunegonde and the old woman	p. 49
How Candide and Cacambo were received by the Jesuits of Paraguay	p. 52
How Candide killed the brother of his beloved Cunegonde	p. 55
What happened to the two travelers with two girls, two monkeys, and the savages know as the Oreillons	p. 57
How Candide and his valet came to the land of Eldorado	p. 62
What they saw in the land of Eldorado	p. 66
What happened to them at Surinam, and how Candide became acquainted with Martin	p. 72
What happened to Candide and Martin at sea	p. 77
How Candide and Martin reasoned with each other as they approached the coast of France	p. 79
What happened to Candide and Martin in France	p. 81
How Candide and Martin reached the coast of England, and what they saw there	p. 92
Paquette and Brother Giroflee	p. 93
A visit to Signor Pococurante, Venetian nobleman	p. 99
How Candide and Martin had supper with six foreigners, and who they were	p. 104
Candide's voyage to Constantinople	p. 107
What happened to Candide, Cunegonde, Pangloss, Martin, etc.	p. 111
How Candide found Cunegonde and the old woman again	p. 115
Conclusion	p. 116
Notes	p. 121
Table of Contents provided by Rittenhouse. All Rights Reserved.

Excerpts

Chapter I: How Candide was brought up in a Magnificent Castle, and how he was expelled thence

In a castle of Westphalia, belonging to the Baron of Thunder-ten-Tronckh, lived a youth, whom nature had endowed with the most gentle manners. His countenance was a true picture of his soul. He combined a true judgment with simplicity of spirit, which was the reason, I apprehend, of his being called Candide. The old servants of the family suspected him to have been the son of the Baron's sister, by a good, honest gentleman of the neighborhood, whom that young lady would never marry because he had been able to prove only seventy-one quarterings, the rest of his genealogical tree having been lost through the injuries of time.

The Baron was one of the most powerful lords in Westphalia, for his castle had not only a gate, but windows. His great hall, even, was hung with tapestry. All the dogs of his farmyards formed a pack of hounds at need; his grooms were his huntsmen; and the curate of the village was his grand almoner. They called him "My Lord," and laughed at all his stories.

The Baron's lady weighed about three hundred and fifty pounds, and was therefore a person of great consideration, and she did the honours of the house with a dignity that commanded still greater respect. Her daughter Cunegonde was seventeen years of age, fresh-coloured, comely, plump, and desirable. The Baron's son seemed to be in every respect worthy of his father. The Preceptor Pangloss was the oracle of the family, and little Candide heard his lessons with all the good faith of his age and character.

Pangloss was professor of metaphysico-theologico-cosmolo-nigology. He proved admirably that there is no effect without a cause, and that, in this best of all possible worlds, the Baron's castle was the most magnificent of castles, and his lady the best of all possible Baronesses.

"It is demonstrable," said he, "that things cannot be otherwise than as they are; for all being created for an end, all is necessarily for the best end. Observe, that the nose has been formed to bear spectacles -- thus we have spectacles. Legs are visibly designed for stockings -- and we have stockings. Stones were made to be hewn, and to construct castles -- therefore my lord has a magnificent castle; for the greatest baron in the province ought to be the best lodged. Pigs were made to be eaten -- therefore we eat pork all the year round. Consequently they who assert that all is well have said a foolish thing, they should have said all is for the best."

Candide listened attentively and believed innocently; for he thought Miss Cunegonde extremely beautiful, though he never had the courage to tell her so. He concluded that after the happiness of being born Baron of Thunder-ten-Tronckh, the second degree of happiness was to be Miss Cunegonde, the third that of seeing her every day, and the fourth that of hearing Master Pangloss, the greatest philosopher of the whole province, and consequently of the whole world.

One day Cunegonde, while walking near the castle, in a little wood which they called a park, saw between the bushes, Dr. Pangloss giving a lesson in experimental natural philosophy to her mother's chamber-maid, a little brown wench, very pretty and very docile. As Miss Cunegonde had a great disposition for the sciences, she breathlessly observed the repeated experiments of which she was a witness; she clearly perceived the force of the Doctor's reasons, the effects, and the causes; she turned back greatly flurried, quite pensive, and filled with the desire to be learned; dreaming that she might well be asufficient reasonfor young Candide, and he for her.

She met Candide on reaching the castle and blushed; Candide blushed also; she wished him good morrow in a faltering tone, and Candide spoke to her without knowing what he said. The next day after dinner, as they went from table, Cunegonde and Candide found themselves behind a screen; Cunegonde let fall her handkerchief, Candide picked it up, she took him innocently by the hand, the youth as innocently kissed the young lady's hand with particular vivacity, sensibility, and grace; their lips met, their eyes sparkled, their knees trembled, their hands strayed. Baron Thunder-ten-Tronckh passed near the screen and beholding this cause and effect chased Candide from the castle with great kicks on the backside; Cunegonde fainted away; she was boxed on the ears by the Baroness, as soon as she came to herself; and all was consternation in this most magnificent and most agreeable of all possible castles.

Copyright © 2005 by Simon & Schuster, Inc.

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Excerpted from Candide by Francois Voltaire
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.