Can't Live with 'Em, Can't Live Without 'em : Dealing with the Love/Hate Relationships in Your Life

by Unknown

• ISBN13: 9780849912719
• ISBN10: 0849912717
• eBook ISBN(s): 9781418553654
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2006-05-16
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson Inc

Summary

Living in a love-hate relationship-with your spouse, kids, parents, friends, co-workers, and even God-can leave you feeling confused and furious. But the practical strategies presented in this book will help you overcome your most agonizing relational predicaments. Drawing on a wealth of experience as therapists and as best-selling authors, David Stoop and Stephen Arterburn provide you with: Insightful analysis of the "problem behind the problem behind the problem" in love-hate relationships Hands-on questionnaires and exercises to help you sort out your mixed-up feelings Real-life case studies that show how you can protect yourself from abuse without cutting yourself off from people you care about Professional advice to help you work through your bitterness and disappointment and manage the healing act of forgiveness

Table of Contents

1. Loving the One You Hate; Hating the One You Love	1	(13)
Sarah: Bucks, Booze, and a Broken Heart
Mary: Abandoned in Rage
Joe and Betty: Perplexed Parents
Dan: Troubled Employee
Sandra: Sleeping with the Past
Marilyn: Oh God!
Loving and Hating Myself
The Loss of Feelings
2. Why Love-Hate Relationships Develop	14	(27)
Anger
Fear
Guilt
Conclusion: Breaking Up the Love-Hate Foundation
3. The Results: Living without a Me	41	(10)
The Loss of Me
The Ideal Me
Defective Grafting
Various Forms of Defective Grafting
4. How People Cope with Love-Hate Relationships	51	(14)
(Achieving Temporary Results with Negative Decisions)
How to Stay Resentfully Involved
The Option to Leave
The Laws of Coping
5. Beyond Coping: Overcoming and Resolving	65	(19)
Acknowledging the Problem
Conflict Resolution
Conclusion
6. Working Out the Inner Resolution	84	(17)
Exercise 1: Dealing with Denial
Exercise 2: The Problem behind the Problem
Exercise 3: Facing What You Feel
Exercise 4: Expressing Your Emotions
Exercise 5: Expectations vs. Reality
Exercise 6: Seeing through the Other's Eyes
Exercise 7: A Course of Action
Exercise 8: A Positive Follow-up
Exercise 9: Setting Some Goals
Exercise 10: The Most
Difficult Love-Hate Relationship
7. An Ounce of Prevention	101	(17)
Critical Times
Emotional Polarities
Both-And" Thinking
Expression of Feelings
Speaking the Truth in Love
Rebuilding Self-Esteem
Learning to Accept Myself
Practice, Practice, Practice
Types of Love
What to Do in the Future
8. Forgiving Parents...Forgiving Children...Forgiving Parents...	118	(20)
Needy Children and Nasty Parents
Parents Who Provide
Love Forgives
Resentful Son, Repentant Son
Junior High Forgiveness
Modern Prodigals
Families Unable to Forgive
The Prodigal Revisited
Exception or Example
A Lifestyle of Forgiveness
9. Conclusion: You Have a Decision to Make	138
There Are No Victims...
Struggling in the Gray Areas
From Victim to Victor
Carrying the Message