The Complete Idiot's Guide to Raising a Strong-willed Child

by Levitt, Ed.S. LPC, Mary-Michael; Coronato, Helen

• ISBN13: 9781592579235
• ISBN10: 159257923X
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2009-10-06
• Publisher: DK Publishing, Inc.

Summary

You're no idot, of course. You're not a pushover when it comes to parenting. But your child is so spirited that interactions often turn into a battle of wills---with you on the losing side.

Author Biography

Mary-Michael Levitt is director of the Riverview Counseling Center in New Jersey. She is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Licensed Professional Counselor. Mary has worked in mental health with children and adults. Helen Coronato is a former middle school teacher and children-'s librarian. She is a freelance writer, book author, talk show host, and full-time mother.

Table of Contents

The Spirit of Your Strong-Willed Child	p. 1
Who Is the Strong-Willed Child?	p. 3
Intensity: The Hallmark of the Strong-Willed Child	p. 4
More! More! More!	p. 4
Key Characteristics of the Strong-Willed Child	p. 4
Sensitive Senses	p. 6
Guiding the Strong-Willed Child	p. 7
Nature vs. Nature	p. 8
The Strong-Willed Parent	p. 9
The Birth Order Factor	p. 9
Could It Be Something More?	p. 11
Sensory Processing Disorder	p. 11
Autism and Asperger's	p. 13
Food Allergies	p. 13
Understanding Your Child's Personality Type	p. 17
The Introverted Child	p. 18
An Overview of the Introverted Personality	p. 19
First Reactions to New Situations	p. 19
Personal Space and Boundaries	p. 20
Make Time for Contemplation	p. 21
Parenting the Introverted Child	p. 22
Discipline for the Introverted Child	p. 22
The Importance of Relationships	p. 23
The Need for Retreat	p. 24
The Extroverted Child	p. 25
An Overview of the Extroverted Personality	p. 25
First Reactions to New Situations	p. 26
Variety to Activity	p. 27
The Need to Please Others	p. 28
Parenting the Extroverted Child	p. 28
Making Time for Yourself	p. 29
Discipline for the Extroverted Child	p. 30
Keeping Them Stimulated	p. 32
Calming Them Down	p. 33
Positive Parenting	p. 35
Children Learn What They Live	p. 36
Breaking Old Patterns	p. 37
Empathy First, Discipline Second	p. 37
Changing Our Perspective	p. 39
Self-Fulfilling Prophecies	p. 40
Labels vs. Diagnosis	p. 41
Helping Children Know Themselves	p. 42
Model Patience	p. 42
Play the Re-Name Game	p. 43
Play "High/Low"	p. 45
Learn Your Child's Visual Cues	p. 46
Recognize Your Child's Warning Words	p. 46
Developing Your Parenting Style	p. 49
Parenting Styles	p. 50
Permissive Parenting	p. 50
Authoritarian Parenting	p. 52
Authoritative Parenting	p. 53
Positive Parenting Strategies	p. 54
Firm but Flexible	p. 54
Confident and Controlled	p. 56
Compromise and Commitment	p. 57
Take What Works, Leave the Rest	p. 59
Taking Care of Yourself	p. 59
Not-So-Friendly Advice	p. 60
Team Efforts	p. 61
Progress, Not Perfection	p. 62
Trying on New Parenting Styles	p. 62
Toddlers and Preschoolers	p. 65
Increasing Independence	p. 67
Provide Engaging Environments	p. 68
Busy Bodies	p. 68
Engage the Senses	p. 70
Watching Out for Your Own Health and Safety	p. 72
The Places You'll Go	p. 74
Approaching New Situations	p. 74
Encourage Adaptability	p. 76
Establishing Boundaries	p. 78
Know Your No's	p. 78
The Craft of Compromise	p. 80
Part of the Pact	p. 80
Transitions and Tantrums	p. 85
The Truth About Transitions	p. 86
Limit Tantrums by Limiting Transitions	p. 87
Make Time Tangible	p. 88
Out and About	p. 90
Bag of Tricks	p. 91
Rest and Rejuvenate	p. 92
Getting Back on Track	p. 93
The Tantrum Triangle	p. 95
Overstimulation	p. 96
Surprise	p. 97
Disappointment	p. 99
Helping Your Child Change Direction	p. 99
Teach Breathing Exercises	p. 100
Start the Day Over	p. 101
Get Input from Your Child	p. 101
Keeping Good Company	p. 105
Yes! Rooms	p. 106
Age-Appropriate Materials	p. 106
Undivided Attention	p. 107
A Place for Everything	p. 109
Enrichment Activities	p. 109
Time to Shine	p. 110
Is It Okay to Quit?	p. 111
Too Much of a Good Thing?	p. 112
Playdates	p. 113
Our House: Welcomes and Goodbyes	p. 113
Sharing	p. 114
A Day at the Park	p. 116
Strategies for Hot-Button Times	p. 119
Starting the Day	p. 120
Building More Time into Your Morning	p. 120
Plan a "Date" with Your Attention-Seeking Child	p. 123
Trying New Strategies	p. 124
Negotiating vs. Surrendering	p. 125
Meal Times	p. 126
The Importance of Meal-Time Rituals	p. 126
Sanity-Saving Dinner Games	p. 127
Menu Planning with Your Child	p. 128
Bed Times	p. 130
Bedtime vs. Sleep Time	p. 130
Quieting Down the House	p. 131
Lights Out	p. 131
Holidays and Special Occasions	p. 135
Enjoying the Holidays	p. 136
Dealing with Stres and Tension	p. 136
Sugar, Sweets, and Treats	p. 137
Family and Strangers	p. 138
Create Traditions	p. 139
Enjoying Special Occasions	p. 140
House Guests	p. 141
Birthday Parties	p. 142
Eating Out	p. 143
Stress-Free Travel	p. 145
Trains, Planes, and Automobiles	p. 145
Games, Prizes, and Treats	p. 146
Rituals and Rest Stops	p. 147
Elementary and Middle Schoolers	p. 149
Coaching and Communicating	p. 151
Coaching Your Own Child	p. 152
Specific Formulas	p. 153
Confident Direction	p. 154
Consistent Follow-Through	p. 155
The Problem with Power Struggles	p. 156
Define "Defiance"	p. 157
Empathize, Question, Action	p. 158
Dealing with Disappointments	p. 160
Communicating with Your Introvert	p. 161
The Home Field Advantage for Introverts	p. 162
Communicating with Your Extrovert	p. 163
The Home Field Advantage for Extroverts	p. 165
Education: Environments and Options	p. 169
On School Grounds	p. 170
Familiarize Yourself with the Classroom Environment	p. 170
Teaching the Teacher About Your Child	p. 171
Determining Measurable Goals for Your Child	p. 172
Support at Home	p. 174
Learning Styles	p. 174
Clearly Defined Expectations	p. 176
Buddy Systems	p. 176
Partnership for Success	p. 177
Parent/Teacher/Child Conferences	p. 178
Guidance Departments	p. 179
Teams and Clubs	p. 179
Communicate and Connect	p. 183
Growing Independence	p. 184
Goal Setting and Contracts	p. 184
Bribery vs. Incentives	p. 186
Accentuate the Positive	p. 188
Prime Times	p. 189
Meals	p. 189
Car Rides	p. 191
Notes and Letters	p. 192
"Dates"	p. 193
Fun and Play	p. 194
Family Fun Calendars	p. 194
Fun During the Weekdays	p. 195
Fun on the Weekends	p. 196
Planning Birthdays	p. 197
Adolescents and Young Adults	p. 199
Understanding Your Adolescent's Personality Profile	p. 201
Guiding the Introverted Adolescent	p. 202
Misconceptions About Introverted Teens	p. 202
Social Situations	p. 203
Messages from Home	p. 204
Guiding the Extroverted Adolescent	p. 206
Misconceptions About Extroverted Teens	p. 206
Areas of Opportunity	p. 207
The Importance of Being Noticed	p. 208
Puberty: A Time of Extremes	p. 210
The Power of Hormones	p. 211
Higher Highs and Lower Lows	p. 213
Romance and Relationships	p. 214
Roles and Resolutions	p. 217
Changing Roles	p. 218
New Rules	p. 218
Written Contracts	p. 218
Respect Commitments	p. 219
Resolving Conflict	p. 221
Expressing Anger	p. 221
Fair Fights	p. 222
Say Yes	p. 223
All in the Family	p. 224
Staying Connected	p. 225
Grown-Up Fun	p. 226
College and Careers	p. 229
Mapping Out What Matters Most	p. 230
Core Values	p. 230
Mantras and Mottos	p. 231
Vision Boards	p. 233
Choosing Colleges	p. 234
Who Goes There?	p. 234
What's Happening?	p. 235
Location, Location, Location	p. 236
Respecting Your Child's Gut Reaction	p. 237
Deciding on a Career	p. 238
Areas of Expertise	p. 238
Entrepreneurship	p. 239
Hope for the Future	p. 240
Further Resources	p. 243
Index	p. 257
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