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9780071358170

Dave Zobel's Bent Book of Boatspeak : How to Sound Like a Sailor and Know Just Enough to Be Dangerous

by ;
  • ISBN13:

    9780071358170

  • ISBN10:

    007135817X

  • Format: Paperback
  • Copyright: 2000-05-02
  • Publisher: MCG
  • Purchase Benefits
List Price: $9.95

Summary

"Dave never could get out of his own way in a boat, but I always said he talked a good game." --sole surviving crewmember (name withheld on request) "Dave Zobel? I thought he drowned years ago." --his first sailing instructor

Author Biography

Dave Zobel, shown here with his most recent boat, works all day with bits and bytes and dreams all night of bitts and bights. An enthusiastic if misguided amateur etymologist, he denies having precipitated more than a handful of nautical mishaps with his too-literal interpretations of sailing commands. Despite pending damage claims, he still maintains he would rather be sailing.

Table of Contents

(as in Table of Contents)

Part One

Purpose of This Book

Folly of Buying It

Reason You Won't Be Able to Get Your Money Back

Part One

Why Boats Are, and Which Boats Aren't

Where Boats Were, and What Boaters Wear

When Boats Wasn't, and Wherefore Boats Do Have Their Being

Part One Again

Fiddle Rail, Fife Rail, or Hornpipe: Which Instrument is Right for My Child?

She Goes Steady as She Goes, She Goes Steady

Earings, Rub Backs, Whips, Bottle Screws, and Other Deviations

I Used to Be Known as Iron Mike, but the Guys Saw My Bonnet and Now They Call Me Miss Stays

Marine Diesel Motors in Brief

List of Engine Parts That Are Too Big to Swallow

List of Engine Parts That Aren't

Wine List

Marine Charts in Brief

How to Pretend to Understand Them

How to Convert Them into Decorative Placemats

How to Roll Them Up Tightly and Use Them to Swat Flies

Marines in Brief

Strategies for Sailing

You're Never Too Hard Up to Pay Off

"I Don't Have Time to Make the Helm Fast--I'm Too Busy Tying Up the Steering Wheel"

Relief Is Only as Far Away as the Lee Rail

Strategies for Rowing

The Wisdom of Steering while Facing Backward

Swimming: Faster? Easier? More Satisfying?

How to Catch a Crab without a Feather

Strategies for Washing Up on the Beach

What Depths of Tackiness Can a Heel Who Runs after a Broad Reach?

It Takes More Than Sea Legs and Firm Futtocks to Make an Able Body

You Too Can Circumnavigate the Globe with a Crew of Scallywags, Rapscallions, Ruffians, and Ne'er-Do-Wells

Part One One More Time

Sail for Pleasure

Pleasure for Sale

Six Witty Comments to Make while Sinking

Questions and Answer Session

Refreshments

Parting Shots

(as in text)

Acknowledgment

Introduction

A Word on Words

A Word on Gender

Let's Get Started! or Faking Can Only Get You So Far

Hard Things

Soft Things

Angst

Soggy Things

Dry Things

Usage Quiz #1

Unfriendly Things

Places Not to Go

How to Tell Starboard from Port (foolproof method)

Usage Quiz #2

Tangly Things

Equal Opportunity for the Unfit

Wrinkly Things

Icky Things

Usage Quiz #3

Invisible Things

Magical Things

Unequivocally Amiguous Terminology

Usage Quiz #4

Head 'Em Up, Move 'Em Out

Rules of the Road

Firmer Terrors

Usage Quiz #5

Sailor's Phrasebook

Disclaimer

About the Author

About the Illustrator

Supplemental Materials

What is included with this book?

The New copy of this book will include any supplemental materials advertised. Please check the title of the book to determine if it should include any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.

The Used, Rental and eBook copies of this book are not guaranteed to include any supplemental materials. Typically, only the book itself is included. This is true even if the title states it includes any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.

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