The Dogma of Rufus: A Canine Guide to Eating, Sleeping, Digging, Slobbering, Scratching, and Surviving With Humans

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  • Edition: 1st
  • Format: Hardcover
  • Copyright: 2013-07-01
  • Publisher: PERSEUS BOOKS

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So,you've been ripped out from your mother's paws and taken in by a strange familyof humans that has kids who insist on flapping your floppy ears and dressing you up likea ladybug. These new human-folk are trying to "teach" you things, like sittingor not ripping apart their fun-looking shoes, and you might start to think youshould try to "obey." But I know better; I've been around the block and peed onmost parts of it. Puppies like you need my-wait, somebody just walked in with ahamburger. Gotta check this out. Ok,back now. Anyway, to survive in this world filled with brown-clad foolsdelivering packages and leashes, you need my guide to show you what's what inthis dog-eat-dog world of ours. Like dog beds; your human might try to forceyou to sleep in one of these, but with my sly techniques I can show you how toweasel your way into their clean, fresh-smelling king-sized bed, or evenstretch yourself out and have it all to yourself. Those imbeciles might thinkthey are your owner, but you'll show them who really owns who armed withknowledge on these subjects: -Advancedbarking-how loud and annoying can you go? -Cars-catchyour Moby Dick -Licking-what,where, when, and why -Biting-askquestions later -Welcomingguests-try not to hyperventilate -Andmuch more! Communicatingwith humans can be difficult, as they are not very smart, but they give youthings and throw you balls, so you might as well try to amuse them.

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