Emily Post's The Etiquette Advantage In Business

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  • Edition: 2nd
  • Format: Hardcover
  • Copyright: 2010-04-01
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publications

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As today's workplace becomes increasingly more competitive, knowing how to behave can make the difference between getting ahead and getting left behind.

In The Etiquette Advantage in Business, 2nd Edition, etiquette authorities Peggy Post and Peter Post provide you with the all-important tools for building solid, productive relationships with your business associates -- relationships that will help propel you and your company straight to the top. In this completely revised and updated edition, which includes three new chapters on ethics, table manners, and electronic communication, the Posts show you how to handle both everyday and unusual situations that are essential to professional and personal success -- from resolving business conflicts with ease and grace to getting along with your boss and coworkers; from making long-lasting contacts to winning clients and closing deals. They also offer up-to-date guidance on pressing issues such as harassment in the workplace, worker privacy, e-mail dos and don'ts, and knowing how and when to shoulder blame. Written for business workers of all types and backgrounds, The Etiquette Advantage in Business remains the definitive resource for timeless advice on business entertaining, written communication, dressing appropriately for any business occasion, conventions and trade shows, job searches and interviews, gift-giving, and overseas travel. No matter the situation in which you find yourself, the Posts will give you the confidence to meet the challenges of the work world with confidence and poise -- because today, more than ever, good manners mean good business.

Fully revised and updated for today's times, this comprehensive guide shows how to meet the challenges of the business world with self-confidence and poise.

Author Biography

Peggy Post is a director of the Emily Post Institute Peter Post is a director of the Emily Post Institute

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments vii
Introduction xiii
Why Etiquette Matters
``I Want You to Do a Better Job Building Relationships''
Job Skills Versus People Skills
Etiquette = Manners + Principles
The Three Principles that Govern all Etiquette
The Importance of Sincertity
The Importance of Flexibility
The Ethical You
A Question of Values
Six Ethical Values to Live By
Black and White, Or Shades of Gray?
The Ethical Employee
You and Your Coworkers
You and Your Company
Reporting Ethical Misbehavior
When the Culprit is You
Lying for Your Boss---and Other Ethical Dilemmas
The Ethical Manager
The Ethical Vendor
The Ethical Customer
The Ethical Job-Seeker
Dress and Grooming
Attitude and Adaptation
Eight Key Points
Business Clothes for Men
Staying Well-Groomed
Business Clothes for Women
Color Considerations
Notes on Accessories
Staying Well-Groomed
After Dark
You and Your Coworkers
The Same Pool
Grasping Company Culture
Respecting Rank
Requesting and Offering Help
Help for the Newcomer
Giving and Accepting Compliments
What to Say When...
Taking Responsibility
Handling Professional Differences of Opinion
When Conflict Gets Personal
Small-Talk Tips
Foul Language
Dealing with Petty Annoyances
Temps and Part-Timers
Courtesies for the Disabled
Building Personnel
Post-9/11 Building Security
Sidewalk Smoking
You and Your Workspace
A Dose of Humility
Closing Your Door
Your Cubicle--A Matter of Attitude
Workspace Decor
More Workspace Manners
Communal Equipment
In the Kitchen
In the Restrooms
Doors, Doors, Doors
Elevator Etiquette
Riding Escalators
You and Your Supervisors
Three Steps to Compatibility
When You're New to the Job
The Art of Complaining
Owning Up to the Good and the Bad
Dealing with Criticism
Dealing with Difficult Bosses
Your Career Path
Leaving Your Job
Women and Men Together---and Other Personal Matters
Romance in the Workplace
What is Sexual Harassment?
Your Personal Life
The Smart Manager
A Positive Climate
Manipulation's Many Faces
Inspiring and Motivating
Focus on New Employees
Recognize and Compliment
Be Available
The Power of ``Please'' and ``Thank You''
Your Support Staff
Hosting, Attending, and Speaking at the Perfect Meeting
Managing a Meeting
What's the Agenda?
When and Where?
Pre-Meeting Preparation
Off and Running
Wrapping Up
Following Up
Attending a Meeting
The Importance of Punctuality
The Politics of Seating
Do Your Part
Avoid Interruptions
At Meeting's End
What's Next?
If You're a Guest Speaker
Getting Things Straight
Telecommuting and the Home Office
Setting Your Parameters
Phone Hours
Friends and Neighbors
Pleasing the Customer
Building the Best Relationship
Before Making a Business Call
At Your Initial Meeting
Maintaining the Relationship
The Hazards of Bad-Mouthing
Dealing with an Angry Customer Face-to-Face
When Your Company is in the Wrong
Dealing with Contractors and Vendors
Six Steps for Keeping Contractors Happy
Business Gifts
Gifts to Outsiders
Gifts from Outside
Exchanging Gifts with Coworkers
Gifts for Bosses: Yes or No?
Gift Choices
Marking Milestones
The Art of Presentation
Accepting and Declining Gifts
Gift-Giving Abroad
Business Events
Business Meals--Lunch, Breakfast, or Dinner?
The Formal Corporate Event
At the Table
Dinner is Served
Making Toasts
Entertaining at Home
Inviting Guests
Meeting and Greeting
Single Hosts and Hostesses
Hosting a Sit-Down Dinner
Planning and Hosting a Buffet
Setting Up
The Food is Served
Buffet Beverages
Office Parties
Office Party Dress
Other Office Occasions
Restaurants, Bars, and At-Home Parties
Dining Out with Coworkers
At Country Clubs
Who Pays for What?
At Spectator Sports
At Members-Only Social Clubs
At the Theater
Table Manners: Navigating the Meal
The Most Important Thing to Do
When to Talk Business
The Solution to Any Problem
Arriving for the Meal
Placing Orders
Before the First Course Arrives
Appetizers and Soup
Some General Table Manners
All Things Wine
``Why Don't You Choose the Wine?''
The Salad Course
The Main Course
The Meal is Over
Decoding the Table Setting
The Formal Place Setting
The Informal Place Setting
Place Cards and Seating
Entertaining at Home: The Dinner Party
The Good Conversationalist
The Impression You Make
Pronunciation and Meaning
The Art of Conversing
About Body Language
On the Telephone
Placing Business Calls
Answering Business Calls
Returning Calls
Transferring Calls
The Art of the Hold
Screening Calls
Caller ID
Business Calls in Progress
Closing a Call
The Cell Phone
Answering Machines and Voice Mail
The Good Writer
The Importance of Grammar
Organize and Outline
Be Consistent
Effective Business Letters
The Parts of a Business Letter
Writing Memoranda
The Stationery Drawer
Communicating Electronically
The Basics
Handle with Care
Questions of Security
Surf Warnings
Watch the Basics, Even with E-Mail
The Thoughtful Traveler
Be Self-Reliant
Trouble-Free Clothing
Different Climates, Different Styles, Different Times of Day?
En Route
At Your Destination
Dealing with Hotel Staff
Dining Out
How Much to Tip?
The Safety-Minded Businesswoman
Conventions, Trade Shows, and Other Off-Site Events
How Much Fun?
Traveling with Your Spouse
Getting Down to Business
Trade Shows
Doing Business in Another Country
Before You Go
Customs and Culture
Sex, Politics, and Religion
Practical Concerns
Business Cards
Forging Personal Relationships
A Question of Timing
Speaking English Abroad
Understanding Body Language
Personal Space and Other Basics
Speaking in a Foreign Language
Using Translators and Interpreters
Differences in Dress
Dining and Drinking
Adjusting Your Cultural Lens
Latin America
Europe and Russia
The Middle East
Suggested Reading for Business Travelers
The Job Search
The Savvy Networker
The Right Tools
Letters and Phone Calls
Checking Out Want ADS
Signing Up with Employment Agencies
The Informational Interview
Resumes and Application Letters
The Basics
Chronological or Functional?
Concerning References
The Application Letter
The Job Interview
Interview Top Five
Waiting to Hear
Responding to an Offer
Responding to a Rejection
Index 347


Emily Post's The Etiquette Advantage in Business 2e
Personal Skills for Professional Success

Chapter One

Why Etiquette Matters

Etiquette is one of the most misunderstood words in the English language. Most people, when asked what etiquette means to them, reply, "Manners," "Politeness," "Thank-you notes," "Rules." Over the years, in thousands of interviews, Emily Post was repeatedly asked what etiquette meant to her. Here's how she defined the term:

Whenever two people come together and their behavior affects one another, you have etiquette. Etiquette is not some rigid code of manners, it's simply how persons' lives touch one another.

Emily Post understood that etiquette is not about rules; etiquette is about building relationships, plain and simple. Etiquette gives us clues as to how we should act and what we should do in any given situation, so that we can be as successful as possible in our interactions with the people around us. Far from stifling your personality in a straitjacket of do's and don'ts, etiquette -- by giving you the confidence to handle a wide variety of situationswith ease and aplomb -- actually lets you focus on being your own, relaxed self: the real you.

"I Want You To Do A Better Job Building Relationships"

That's what your boss could tell you in a job performance review. If she did, how would you go about fulfilling such a request? Chances are, you wouldn't have a clue where to begin. If, however, you shift your focus from improving your "relationships" in general to evaluating how well you handle the specific factors that influence all relationships, this goal will start to look much more attainable. This is easier than you might think, because there are really only three things that affect a relationship: your actions, your appearance, and your words.

  • ACTIONS. The things we do can have various impacts. Imagine: You sit down at a restaurant table with a client. After a few minutes, your cell phone starts ringing. You answer it and start talking. Clearly, we are all aware that this action would create a negative atmosphere at your business lunch. What is a better action, one that will improve your relationship with your client? Simple: Either turn off your phone before meeting your client or let your client know that you're expecting a call, and then excuse yourself to the lobby or restroom area when your phone vibrates.

  • APPEARANCE. The importance of clothes and grooming is obvious. Dress like a slob, and the people you are with will think of you as a slob. Body odor and bad breath -- those are no-brainers. But what about body language? That falls under appearance as well: Twitching your foot during a meeting says you are either nervous or apprehensive, or you can't wait for the meeting to end. Improve your appearance by keeping your foot still -- and staying calm, alert, and twitch-free in general -- and you will build better relationships with the people you do business with.

  • WORDS. Coarse language is clearly out of bounds. But say you're in a meeting and you blurt out, "Oh my God, Sally, what a great idea!" Later, you discover that some of the people present were offended that you took the Lord's name in vain. Suddenly, instead of thinking about Sally's great idea, those participants are focused on you and their negative perception of you.

One of the hallmarks of good etiquette is that it never calls attention to itself. When everything is going well as far as your actions, appearance, and words are concerned, your focus -- and the focus of the people you are with -- will be on the content of your discussion. Slip up with any one of these factors, however, and the focus will suddenly shift to the failure ("I can't believe he just did that"). By being aware of your actions, appearance, andwords, and working to improve your performance in all three areas, you can directly enhance the quality of your relationships.

Job Skills Versus People Skills

Being successful in your job or your job search hinges on two critical factors: your job skills and your people skills. Your job skills are the capabilities you bring to your work. If you're searching for a job, it's unlikely you'll be invited for an interview if you don't have the requisite job skills. The same goes if you're up for a promotion, or if your company is up for a job or contract with another firm: The reason you are being considered for the promotion or your company is being considered for the work is the set of job skills and capabilities you or your company possesses.

Once you enter the room for an interview, however -- whether as a job applicant, or a candidate for a promotion, or a salesperson -- your personal skills are what will most likely get you the job.Your ability to connect with that person across the table more readily than any of the other candidates is critical to your potential success. In short, your job skills will get you in the door, but your people skills are what will land you the assignment.

Fair? Perhaps not. Reality? You'd better believe it.

It makes sense, too: Imagine you're a CEO who's considering three employees for a promotion, so you invite each of them in turn for a talk over lunch. Jane knows her job cold but can't quite make or hold eye contact with you. Kevin is friendly and outgoing, but he eats holding his fork like he's going to stab someone and chews his food with his mouth open. Jonathan, on the other hand, walks into the interview dressed for the job he wants, rather than for the job he now has. His table manners don't draw attention to his eating; instead, you find yourself focused on the conversation you are having with him. He smiles, and he holds eye contact -- but not for too long.

Emily Post's The Etiquette Advantage in Business 2e
Personal Skills for Professional Success
. Copyright © by Peggy Post. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

Excerpted from Etiquette Advantage in Business: Personal Skills for Professional Success by Peggy Post, Peter Post
All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.

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How To Succeed In Business! August 2, 2011
This is by far the best business etiquette book on the market. The freshness and depth of the Writing and Speaking chapters alone make it worth the price. Never stodgy, the textbook covers all the bases with clarity and wit. Good product, arrived ahead of schedule, and in new condition as advertised by seller. Overall I experience no problems.
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Emily Post's The Etiquette Advantage In Business: 4 out of 5 stars based on 1 user reviews.

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