Family Ties That Bind

by Richardson, Ronald W.

• ISBN13: 9781770400863
• ISBN10: 1770400869
• Edition: 4th
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2011-04-01
• Publisher: INGRAM

Summary

This book uses Family of Origin therapy techniques as a basis for you to improve those relationships and your own sense of self-esteem.

Author Biography

Ron Richardson, BA, MDiv, DMin was a marriage counselor and family therapist for 20 years, until his retirement in 1996. He was formerly Executive Director and Director of Training at the North Shore Counselling Centre in North Vancouver, British Columbia. He was also on the faculty of the Pacific Coast Family Therapy Training Association. For many years he was active as a Clinical Member and Approved Supervisor of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy and as a Diplomate of the American Association of Pastoral Counselors.

Table of Contents

Introduction	p. 1
Families Are Strange Creatures	p. 8
The Hip Bone's Connected to the Thigh Bone - How Families Work	p. 8
Eat Your Spinach - Rules in the Family	p. 12
You Never Talk to Me - Closeness and Distance Among Family Members	p. 17
Come Closer - Not Too Close	p. 17
Appearances Are Deceiving	p. 20
All the World Wants a Mommy	p. 22
You're Not Better, Just Different - Dealing with Differences	p. 24
I Say Tomato. You Say Tomahto - Anxiety about Differences	p. 24
Do It My Way or Else - The Demand for Sameness	p. 26
ôI only want what you want, dearö - The compliant ones	p. 26
ôI did it my wayö - The rebels	p. 29
ôI'm the king of the mountainö - The attackers	p. 30
ôBye-byeö - The cutoff	p. 33
How To Be True to Yourself and Still Have Friends	p. 35
Free to Be Me - Being Yourself and Knowing Who That Is	p. 35
Being goal-directed	p. 37
Distinguishing between thinking and feeling	p. 38
Stuck in the Mess - Fusion	p. 41
You Made Me Do It - Being Responsible for Yourself	p. 45
Let Mother Take Care of It - Under-Functioning and Over-Functioning	p. 47
Negative consequences	p. 47
Positive consequences	p. 49
Conclusion	p. 49
Triangles in Relationships	p. 52
Three's a Crowd - What Is a Triangle Anyway?	p. 53
How Triangles Operate	p. 57
You and Me Against Her - The Meaning of Coalitions in Triangles	p. 61
The World Is a Stage - Roles in the Triangle	p. 67
Who's On First? - Birth Order And Gender Position In The Family of Origin	p. 71
The Oldest Child	p. 75
Oldest sister of sisters	p. 77
Oldest sister of brothers	p. 77
Oldest brother of brothers	p. 78
Oldest brother of sisters	p. 79
The Youngest Child	p. 80
Youngest sister of sisters	p. 81
Youngest sister of brothers	p. 82
Youngest brother of brothers	p. 83
Youngest brother of sisters	p. 83
The Middle Child	p. 84
The Only Child	p. 87
Male only child	p. 88
Female only child	p. 89
Twins	p. 90
Doing The Work	p. 92
The Begats: Who Is in Your Family?	p. 93
Hello, Mom. Remember Me?: Contacting Family Members	p. 97
Developing a History	p. 100
Dr. Livingston, I Presume?: Researching	p. 102
You Can Go Home Again: Making Family Visits	p. 107
This Is Me, Like It or Not: Differentiating	p. 113
Redoing It	p. 118
The Author's Own Family of Origin Work	p. 120
My Own Family Circumstances	p. 121
My family diagram	p. 123
Starting the Work	p. 125
The Work Progresses	p. 127
Dealing with Triangles	p. 130
Differentiation of Self	p. 132
Conclusion	p. 134
Appendix I: Family Research	p. 135
Appendix II: Finding Professional Help for Doing Family of Origin Work	p. 139
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.