Grief : The Universal Emotion of Loss

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  • Format: Paperback
  • Copyright: 2012-01-28
  • Publisher: Textstream
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Through my connection and knowing Karla, her strength and heart in moving through her own tragedy of loss, which she shared with me in my book 'We Are Their Heaven', reveals her endless compassion that brings a perspective to grief that touches each of us in ways that leads us to awakening and hope.-Allison DuBois - Medium and Author Karla's insight and efforts to integrate her understanding of grief into tools for emergency service workers at a time when everyone needs extraordinary help and understanding has proven to be invaluable.-Jim Sparr - Past President of the Metropolitan Fire Chiefs Karla has a deep and visceral understanding of grief beyond any scholarly description. Her wisdom and ability to teach others about coping with grief is a gift to the world as we all struggle with loss in our lives.-Paulette C. Compton, RN, MSN, MC - Program Director Maricopa Nursing-Banner Boswell Mesa CC With a compassionate and empathic toneKarla Kayunveils how grief comes to us in ways we could never imagine. Presented in common language, Karla brings to the surface a fresh understanding to grief and a New Paradigm in the world of Loss. Grief - The Universal Emotion of Lossexplores the journey we take through grief and the self discovery that lies hidden within us. From Karla's own tragedy of the sudden death of her husband and daughter she was thrust into the depths of her own nightmare; and when the expert advice, prescriptions and therapy fell short she began to examine the feelings, thoughts and emotions of her own grief process. From her new awareness, Karla was inspired to share her vision for moving through the world of grief. For those in the depths of grief, those who have not faced their grief, and for those reaching out to loved ones or friends going through it, Grief - The Universal Emotion of Loss brings the hope and understanding that life after grief truly exists.


Grief Transcends Everything
There are no words to meaningfully describe the emptiness and pain that takes us over in the first grasp from the fist of grief. The clinched knots in our stomach, the screaming tears in our heart that no one else can hear, the bottomless, sinking feeling and the endless thought that this must be a bad dream; these are all true experiences of the emotional vacuum of grief. Even in a life not yet touched by grief, we often find ourselves feeling separated or distant in many ways, yet grief transcends all the common ideas and definitions we believed before about wanting to be left alone or withdrawing from others.
The most extreme passage into grief comes with the ultimate loss of a loved one – death. And because death is permanent, we have no way to negotiate, reverse or undo what has happened. We feel abandoned in the void of emotional isolation and separateness. We wander without direction in The Valley of Despair; this is where there is no hope, no sense of purpose, no will to take another breath, no reason to live, and no light. In this endless moment nothing reflects the existence of even our own life force. This is not a bad place. This is not a wrong place. Even when we wish we were anywhere else, what we're left with is the painful truth that right now this is where we are and this is all there is.
Being in the Now (not replaying yesterday and not imagining tomorrow) is allowing yourself to stop and get in touch with your emotions in the present moment. In grief the Now is not always a place of spirituality or inspiration. Sometimes the Now is the last place we want to be and it feels like that's all there is. We find ourselves trapped in a box of recycled endless thoughts that will not stop the torture of the 'what-if's'. Why then, do so many of us do everything we can to avoid our thoughts, deny our emotions and shut down? We keep busy, reach for something to stop the pain, self-medicate, over-eat, drink excessively, stare at the television for hours or get lost on the computer; any outside distraction is better than feeling. We overwork, obsessively clean, take harmful risks and disconnect ourselves from the world. We do whatever we can to find some way to escape from the agony and pain that we can't explain to anyone – even ourselves, all with the intent to be as numb as we can be.

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