High School's Not Forever

by Bluestein, Jane; Katz, Eric

• ISBN13: 9780757302565
• ISBN10: 0757302564
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2005-07-01
• Publisher: Hci

Summary

Your survival guide to the maze that is the maze that is the high school experience With real-life stories from teens across the country - as well as high school "survivors" - this book paints a real picture of how teens like you feel about the struggles and triumphs of the daily grind and how they get through it. If you ever feel like you're on the sidelines or that the pressure to perform, conform or maintain appearances gets to be too much, this is the book for you!

Author Biography

Dr. Jane Bluestein has worked as a classroom teacher or counselor with kids of all ages. For the past several years, her work has focused on helping teachers and parents improve the ways they connect with kids. She is the author of numerous books, including Creating Emotionally Safe Schools and Parents, Teens and Boundaries. She heads Instructional Support Services, Inc., a consulting and resource firm in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Although Jane had a few positive experiences and a number of good teachers (a few with whom she's still in touch) in high school, she's very glad to have those days behind her. Eric D. Katz, MSAC, is a psychotherapist and a New York state certified school counselor who works on the front lines in a diverse high school in Newburgh, New York. He is a consultant to the College Board's Equity and Excellence Program, an advisory board member for Long Island University's Graduate Program for School Counseling and the coauthor of the advanced series of school counselor workshops for the College Board's Pathways to Excellence Program. Mr. Katz is a trained crisis intervention counselor and provided assistance to students and staff in New York City after September 11. He is a featured speaker at the state and national level and is deeply committed to helping teens succeed not just in high school but in life. After all, high school's not forever.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments	ix
Introduction	xiii
How to Use This Book	xv
ONE Delusions, Distortions and Daily Struggles: The High-School Reality	1	(22)
TWO Religion, Race and the Look of Your Face: Image, Identity and Individuality	23	(26)
THREE Bonding, Buds and Betrayal: Friendship, Cliques and Belonging	49	(22)
FOUR Hook-ups, Breakups and Breakdowns: Sex, Sexuality and Dating	71	(22)
FIVE Bloodied, Bruised and Verbally Abused: Violence and Safety in School	93	(26)
SIX Too Big, Too Small and Not the Right Look at All: Body Image and Health	119	(18)
SEVEN Oh, the Things That This Life Brings: Coping, Change and Loss	137	(56)
EIGHT Overachieving, Overextended and Overloaded: Responsibilities and Balance	193	(4)
NINE Safe and Secure or Just Been There Before: Parents, Teachers and Other Adults	197	(34)
TEN Saving Graces and Positive Places: Anchors, Outlets and Attachments	231	(24)
ELEVEN Purpose, Perspective and Possibilities: Hanging IN, Holding on and Looking Back	255	(22)
Resource Cards	277	(2)
Angel Certificate	279	(1)
Service Certificate	280	(1)
Resources	281	(10)
Notes	291

Excerpts

EVERYONE experiences high school differently. Some love it,some hate it, and some are just doing time. Here are some examples of how rules, restrictions and realities play out in high schools around the country. Take a good look and see if you recognize your own high school experience. What I remember best about high school? Not fitting in. Having so-called friends I could never trust. Having a chip on my shoulder about a mile high. Not feeling visible except for all the wrong things, like being fat or not having the right clothes. Humiliation on a regular basis. Having people use me or avoid me. Having the people I needed support from simply tell me what they thought was best for me or how my behavior, grades or looks affected them. Having teachers I hated and teachers I loved, and feeling like I would have done anything for any adult who treated me with the least bit of dignity and respect for my intelligence. Counting days until graduation. Calculating daily, once I got accepted into the college of my choice, exactly how much or how well I had to do just to pass the classes I didnt like. The glorious elation when they gave me that stupid little piece of paper. It says something like diploma on it, but for me it still reads, Free at Last. Beverly Well, I despise today fairly vehemently, and its only 11 A.M. Isnt that some sort of a record? Technically, its the first day of school, but its just assembly, registration and a bunch of papers from homeroom. Tomorrow classes begin. Im feeling pretty down right now. Ive come to the conclusion that no matter where you go, really, high school is quintessentially the same: Its typical in all the same ways; its frustrating in all the same ways; its scary in all the same ways; its good in all the same ways . . . although not so much of the latter for me since Ive been here. Yet at the same time, life can differ so much from one school to another. Dont ask me how that worksI havent come close to figuring it out. Schools gone from being a place of education to a place where competition and fighting for the top come before learning. We have to deal with the continual pressure to keep up the pace, stay in the game, be the best at all times, never settle for less than the ultimate. . . . Its exhausting for a teen to always be fighting. Fighting grades, teachers, other peoples attitudes, society . . . the list just goes on. Katie, 18 Ive been to three high schools in four years, and Im tired. Im tired of being new; Im tired of never being surrounded by anyone of my caliber; Im tired of giving it a chance and making the best of the situation; Im tired of most people my age; Im tired of this country; Im definitely tired of being tired of all the above, and the worst part, actually caring. But I am, and I do, and I hate it. Ive said it many times before, and damn it, Im going to say it again. High school: Call me when its over. Rachelle, 17 The summer before I started high school, a lot of people to

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Excerpted from High School's Not Forever by Jane Bluestein, Eric Katz
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