9781412904445

How to Deal With Parents Who Are Angry, Troubled, Afraid, or Just Plain Crazy

by
  • ISBN13:

    9781412904445

  • ISBN10:

    1412904447

  • Edition: 2nd
  • Format: Paperback
  • Copyright: 2004-11-17
  • Publisher: Corwin Pr

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Summary

Updated Edition of Bestseller! How do you deal with high-maintenance parents who never seem happy with the job you are doing? Emotionally charged, often disgruntled, and occasionally abusive parents--sound familiar? The newly revised, second edition of Elaine McEwana??s bestselling classic will help you manage your most difficult audience, adding several new features and examples that will give you the confidence and skills you need to handle such situations, including: Over two dozen strategies-enhanced and updated-to defuse emotionally charged parents An updated, easy-to-administer Healthy School Checklist to determine if your schoola??s culture encourages parents or pushes them over the edge Fifty Ways to build parental support for your school Ten Goals-at-a-Glance to help keep your school-community relations on target A built-in facilitator guide--ideal for book groups and staff development, including energizers, suggestions for role-playing, think-alouds, and questions for reflection and discussion Every educator will find invaluable strategies for handling angry and unresponsive parents and the critical issues that cause misunderstandings. Following McEwana??s seven steps of effective problem-solving will help with quick solutions while creating a nurturing, healthy school environment. And in todaya??s schools and a NCLB environment, developing a supportive parent-community relationship is essential to everyonea??s success.

Table of Contents

Preface xiii
My Definition of ``Crazy'' xv
Who This Book Is For xvi
Special Features of the Book xvii
Overview of the Contents xvii
Acknowledgments xviii
About the Author xxi
Why So Many Parents Are Angry, Troubled, Afraid, or Just Plain Crazy
1(22)
The Parents of Today
3(3)
Less Respectful of Authority
3(1)
More Educated About Education
4(1)
Angrier Than Ever
4(1)
Cynical and Distrustful
5(1)
Activists
5(1)
Stressed
6(1)
Worried and Fearful
6(1)
What's Behind the Epidemic?
6(14)
Reason 1: The World Is a Stressful Place
7(1)
Reason 2: Educators Do Things That Upset Parents
8(1)
Failure to Communicate
8(1)
Circling the Wagons
9(1)
Stonewalling and Spinelessness
10(1)
Assumptions and Stereotypes
10(1)
Defensiveness
10(1)
Breaking Promises
11(1)
Intimidation, Control, Power, and Blame
11(1)
Condescension and Rudeness
11(1)
Dishonesty
12(1)
Political Correctness to the Max
12(1)
Unwillingness to Admit Mistakes and Apologize
13(1)
Failure to Give Parents Credit for Understanding Their Children
13(1)
Lack of Respect for Parents and Children
14(1)
Being Asked for Advice and Not Having It Taken
14(1)
Unprofessionalism
14(1)
Reason 3: Education and Educators Fail to Meet Parents' Expectations
14(1)
Lack of Student Learning, Schoolwide or Districtwide
14(1)
Lack of Learning or Behavior Problems Closer to Home
15(1)
Erosion of Values
16(1)
Lack of Qualified and Competent Teachers
16(1)
Lack of Safety
17(1)
Having to Settle for Poor Schools
17(1)
Reason 4: Parents Have Personal Problems
18(1)
Estranged, Separated, and Divorced Parents
18(1)
School Groupies
19(1)
Complainers, Troublemakers, and Whiners
20(1)
Abusive Parents
20(1)
Addicted, Dysfunctional, and Mentally Ill Parents
20(1)
Summing Up and Looking Ahead
20(3)
Defusing and Disarming Out-of-Control Parents
23(26)
What Is Anger?
24(1)
How to Deal With Parents
Who Are Upset or Out of Control
25(1)
Character Counts
25(1)
Be trustworthy
25(1)
Be honest
26(1)
Be authentic
26(1)
Be respectful
27(1)
Be forgiving
27(1)
The Best Ways to Respond to Angry Parents
27(2)
Manage by walking around
29(1)
Assume problems
29(1)
Don't delegate
29(1)
Welcome and accept
30(1)
Say something nice
30(1)
Self-neutralize
30(1)
Attend
31(1)
Listen
32(1)
Be gentle
32(1)
Read between the lines
33(1)
Give ``wordless advice.''
33(1)
Convey serenity
34(1)
Be a mirror
34(1)
Backtrack
34(1)
Open your mind
35(1)
Don't react
35(1)
Remain composed
36(1)
Be assertive
36(1)
Administer shock therapy
37(1)
Take the A train
37(1)
Apologize
38(1)
Empathize
38(1)
Welcome criticism
39(1)
Consider cultural differences
39(1)
End positively
40(1)
Strategies for Dealing With Truly Troubled Parents
40(7)
Estranged, Separated, and Divorced Parents
40(1)
Parents on Power Trips
41(1)
Bulldozers
41(1)
Jackhammers
42(1)
Dump trucks
43(1)
Complainers
43(2)
Abusive, Addictive, Violent, and Mentally Ill Parents
45(2)
Using Your Encounters With Parents to Learn and Grow
47(1)
Summing Up and Looking Ahead
48(1)
Solving the Problems That Make Parents Angry, Troubled, Afraid, or Just Plain Crazy
49(24)
The Pervasive Problems That Plague Us
50(3)
Problems Identified by School Personnel
51(1)
Problems Identified by Parents
52(1)
Problems Identified by Students
52(1)
Solving the Problems That Plague Us
53(14)
Exploratory Strategies
54(1)
Take your time
54(1)
Ask questions
55(1)
Open the option door
56(1)
Undersell and overperform
57(1)
Tell a story
57(1)
Refuse to triangulate
58(1)
Lower the boom lightly
58(1)
Don't tell parents; show them
59(1)
Don't fight 'em; join 'em
60(1)
Focus on problems, not personalities
60(1)
Action Strategies
60(1)
Solve problems
60(4)
Tell the truth in love
64(3)
Behaviors That Can Sabotage Your Good Intentions
67(1)
What to Do When Nothing Works
68(3)
When to Stay
68(1)
When to Leave
69(2)
Summing Up and Looking Ahead
71(2)
Creating and Nurturing a Healthy School
73(16)
The ``Virulent Viruses''
74(4)
Clandestine Operations
75(1)
Faultfinding and Blame
75(1)
Backyard Gossip
76(1)
Lies, Half-Truths, and Slander
76(1)
Triangulation
77(1)
The Friendly Enemy
77(1)
The Dangerous Dozen
78(3)
Paralysis
78(1)
Diarrhea
78(1)
Chronic Fatigue
78(1)
Hypertension
79(1)
Heart Failure
79(1)
Lockjaw
79(1)
Circulatory Collapse
79(1)
Muscle and Tendon Inflammation
80(1)
Irritable Bowel Syndrome
80(1)
Calluses, Corns, and Bunions
80(1)
Chicken Pox
80(1)
Malnutrition
81(1)
A Healthy School
81(4)
Mission and Vision
83(1)
Separate Yet Connected
83(1)
Metanoia Rather Than Paranoia
83(1)
Optimism Rather Than Pessimism
84(1)
Cooperation Rather Than Competition
84(1)
Zero Tolerance of Intolerance
84(1)
Maturity and Growth
85(1)
The Healthy Leader
85(1)
Promoting and Maintaining a Healthy School
86(2)
Steps to Take if Your School Is Sick
88(1)
Summing Up and Looking Ahead
88(1)
The Proactive Approach: Fifty-Plus Ways to Build Parental Support
89(14)
Fifty-Plus Suggestions to Get You Started
90(11)
Shared Decision Making
90(1)
Survey Your Customers
90(1)
Care Enough to Send the Very Best
91(1)
Management by Walking Around
91(1)
Think Ahead
91(1)
Key Communicators
91(1)
Advance Warning
91(1)
A Key Decision-Making Tool
92(1)
Single Parents
92(1)
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do
92(1)
Multicultural Outreach
92(1)
Home Visits
93(1)
Good News Travels Fast
93(1)
The Welcome Wagon
93(1)
Read All About It
93(1)
Let's Party
93(1)
Put Out the Welcome Mat
94(1)
Open House
94(1)
Curricular Expectations
94(1)
Read to Me
94(1)
Kudos to Volunteers
94(1)
Teacher Training
94(1)
The Night Shift
95(1)
School-Business Partnerships
95(1)
Phone Home
95(1)
You've Got Mail
95(1)
The Twenty-Four-Hour Policy
95(1)
The Dog Ate It
96(1)
Keyboard Capers
96(1)
The Family That Learns Together
96(1)
School-Community Partnerships
96(1)
Parents as Learners
96(1)
Career Days
97(1)
Habla Espanol?
97(1)
Speak to Me
97(1)
The Cable Connection
97(1)
Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is
97(1)
Computer Literacy
97(1)
Berlitz Comes to School
98(1)
A Solid Foundation
98(1)
What's the Score?
98(1)
Can We Talk?
98(1)
Preferred Parking
98(1)
When I Want Your Advice, I'll Ask for It
98(1)
Here's How to Handle a Problem
99(1)
Plan Ahead
99(1)
Rules of the Road
99(1)
Talk to Me
99(1)
Paid Parents
99(1)
The Volunteer Army
100(1)
Pop the Question
100(1)
Reach Out and Touch Someone
100(1)
Volunteer Together
100(1)
What's in a Name?
101(1)
A Penny for Your Thoughts
101(1)
Summing Up and Looking Ahead
101(2)
Conclusion
103(10)
Give Parents What They Want
104(1)
Be Proactive Rather Than Reactive
105(1)
Build Relationships
106(1)
Tend to Teaching
106(1)
Don't Hit Your Ball Into the Seven Sand Traps
107(1)
Deal With Yourself
108(1)
Build a Well-Balanced Team
108(1)
Don't Drive Parents Crazy!
108(1)
Tell the Truth in Love
109(1)
Address Small Problems Before They Get Bigger
109(4)
References
113(6)
Index
119(4)
Facilitator's Guide
123(2)
Who Should Use This Guide?
123(1)
How Is the Guide Organized?
124(1)
What Materials Are Needed?
124(1)
Materials for Facilitators
124(1)
Materials for Participants
125(1)
Study Modules
125
Module 1: Introduction
125(7)
Module 2: Chapter 1. Why So Many Parents Are Angry, Troubled, Afraid, or Just Plain Crazy
132(4)
Module 3: Chapter 2. Defusing and Disarming Out-of-Control Parents
136(4)
Module 4: Chapter 3. Solving the Problems That Make Parents Mad
140(4)
Module 5: Chapter 4. Promoting a Healthy School
144(19)
Module 6: Chapter 5. Fifty-Plus Ways to Be Proactive
163(3)
Module 7: Conclusion
166

Supplemental Materials

What is included with this book?

The New copy of this book will include any supplemental materials advertised. Please check the title of the book to determine if it should include any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.

The Used, Rental and eBook copies of this book are not guaranteed to include any supplemental materials. Typically, only the book itself is included. This is true even if the title states it includes any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.

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