How Do We Tell the Children?: A Step-by-Step Guide for Helping Children Two to Teen Cope When Someone Dies

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  • Edition: 4th
  • Format: Paperback
  • Copyright: 2010-06-08
  • Publisher: Harpercollins

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Now in its third edition, this classic guide is expanded and updated to feature new material on dealing with trauma and devastation, addressing violence in schools, helping grandparents cope as caregivers, and an enlarged quick-reference "Crisis Section" with scripts, answers, and messages for young ones.

Author Biography

Dan Schaefer, Ph.D., has served as a guest faculty member at the College of Physicians and Surgeons, Columbia University, and the graduate schools at New York, Adelphi, Hofstra, and Rutgers universities. He has consulted with both military and police survivors. For more than thirty years he managed a family-owned funeral home that served families for four generations. "How do we tell the children?" was the question most often asked by grieving parents. His invaluable past experience and current work as President of Peak Performance Strategies have contributed to this practical and wise new edition. He lives in Roslyn, NY.
Christine Lyons is a journalist in New York City.

Table of Contents

Prefacep. xi
Forewordp. xiii
Introduction: The Solitary Mournerp. 1
What Children Think About Deathp. 11
Two to Six Yearsp. 16
Six to Nine Yearsp. 20
Nine to Twelve Yearsp. 21
Teenagersp. 24
Explaining Death to Childrenp. 26
Death of a Grandparentp. 27
Death Of an Immediate Family Member (Mother, Father, Sibling)p. 41
Infant Deathp. 47
Death of a Friend or Classmatep. 55
Accidental Deathp. 58
Murderp. 59
Suicidep. 62
Aidsp. 70
How to Talk to Children about Someone who is zDyingp. 79
How to Talk to a Mentally Retarded Childp. 91
Death of a Petp. 93
Grief and Healingp. 95
Common Reactions to Griefp. 98
The Special Needs of Childrenp. 103
The Grieving Processp. 106
Problems to be Prepared for at Various Agesp. 112
Dealing with Anger, Guilt, and Responsibilityp. 119
Helping your Child to Healp. 124
Expectations for the Grieving Child and the Best Ways to Respondp. 131
Traumatic Stressp. 139
One Personal Experience of Traumap. 144
Schools and Traumap. 155
The Funeral-Finding a Way to Say Good-byep. 158
Telling Children what to Expectp. 161
A Good-Bye Giftp. 165
Questions your Child Might Askp. 167
"Life Goes On"p. 169
Crisis Checklistp. 171
Bibliography and Support Groupsp. 187
Indexp. 197
About the Authorsp. 203
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.

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