Interpersonal Communication Everyday Encounters

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  • Edition: 5th
  • Format: Paperback
  • Copyright: 2006-02-16
  • Publisher: Wadsworth Publishing
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This best-selling text by a leading voice in the field offers a distinct alternative to existing textbooks for the introductory course in interpersonal communication. This text offers a theoretically unified but pragmatic introduction to the concepts, principles, and skills of interpersonal communication in a multicultural society. INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION: EVERYDAY ENCOUNTERS consistently integrates ethics and issues of social diversity into coverage of both discussions and mastery of skills, and it shows how interpersonal communication theory and skills pertain to students' daily encounters with others. INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION: EVERYDAY ENCOUNTERS pays unparalleled attention to social diversity and emphasizes theories, research, and skills that are anchored in the field of communication.

Table of Contents

Prefacep. xv
Introductionp. 1
The Fabric of Interpersonal Communication
A First Look at Interpersonal Communicationp. 9
The Interpersonal Imperativep. 10
Physical Needsp. 11
Safety Needsp. 11
Belonging Needsp. 12
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Missing Socializationp. 13
Self-Esteem Needsp. 13
Communication in Everyday Life-Work: Interpersonal Communication on the Jobp. 14
Self-Actualization Needsp. 14
Participating Effectively in a Diverse Societyp. 16
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Communicating in a Multicultural Worldp. 16
Everyday Application: Communication and Your Needsp. 17
Models of Interpersonal Communicationp. 17
Linear Modelsp. 18
Interactive Modelsp. 18
Transactional Modelsp. 19
Defining Interpersonal Communicationp. 20
A Communication Continuump. 20
Everyday Application: Communicating in Your Relationshipsp. 22
Features of Interpersonal Communicationp. 22
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: Poor Interpersonal Communication as the Number One Cause of Divorcep. 23
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: Pillow Talkp. 28
Everyday Application: Levels of Meaningp. 28
Principles of Interpersonal Communicationp. 29
We Cannot Not Communicatep. 29
Interpersonal Communication Is Irreversiblep. 29
Interpersonal Communication Involves Ethical Choicesp. 30
People Construct Meanings in Interpersonal Communicationp. 30
Metacommunication Affects Meaningsp. 31
Everyday Application: Improving Your Metacommunicationp. 33
Interpersonal Communication Develops and Sustains Relationshipsp. 34
Interpersonal Communication Is Not a Panaceap. 34
Interpersonal Communication Effectiveness Can Be Learnedp. 35
Guidelines for Interpersonal Communication Competencep. 35
Develop a Range of Skillsp. 35
Adapt Communication Appropriatelyp. 36
Engage in Dual Perspectivep. 37
Everyday Application: Developing Dual Perspectivep. 38
Monitor Your Communicationp. 38
Commit to Effective and Ethical Communicationp. 39
Everyday Application: Improving Communication Competencep. 39
Case Study: Continuing the Conversationp. 40
Chapter Summaryp. 41
Everyday Connections Onlinep. 41
Key Conceptsp. 42
For Further Thought and Discussionp. 42
Communication and the Creation of Selfp. 43
What Is the Self?p. 44
The Self Arises in Communication with Othersp. 44
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: What Is the Self?p. 45
Particular Othersp. 45
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: The Role of Fathers in Socializing Childrenp. 48
Everyday Application: Reflecting on Reflected Appraisalsp. 49
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Internalizing Rocial Stereotypesp. 49
Everyday Application: Reflecting on Your Identity Scriptsp. 51
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: Attachment Styles and Relationships with Television Charactersp. 53
The Generalized Otherp. 53
Everyday Application: Identifying Social Values in Mediap. 53
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: The Construction of Racep. 54
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: A GLAAD Self-Conceptp. 55
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Bruce, Brenda, and Davidp. 56
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Caste Countsp. 57
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Language and Classp. 58
The Self Is Multidimensionalp. 58
Everyday Application: Reviewing Your Social Comparisonsp. 59
The Self Is a Processp. 59
Social Perspectives Are Subject to Changep. 60
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: A Cross-Cultural Look at Sexual Identityp. 61
Guidelines for Improving Self-Conceptp. 62
Make a Firm Commitment to Personal Growthp. 62
Gain and Use Knowledge to Support Personal Growthp. 63
Set Goals That Are Realistic and Fairp. 65
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: If at First You Don't Succeedp. 66
Seek Contexts That Support Personal Changep. 66
Everyday Application: Improving Your Self-Conceptp. 68
Case Study: Continuing the Conversationp. 68
Chapter Summaryp. 70
Everyday Connections Onlinep. 70
Key Conceptsp. 70
For Further Thought and Discussionp. 71
Perception and Communicationp. 72
The Process of Human Perceptionp. 73
Selectionp. 73
Organizationp. 75
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: I'm Cablinasian!p. 76
Everyday Application: Changing Constructs, Changing Perceptionsp. 77
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: "I can't understand the teacher's accent."p. 78
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: A Script for Romancep. 79
Everyday Application: Sizing Up Othersp. 79
Interpretationp. 80
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: Self-Serving Attributions and Sportsp. 81
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: Thinking Your Way to a Good Relationshipp. 82
Influences on Perceptionp. 83
Physiologyp. 83
Agep. 83
Culturep. 84
Everyday Application: Cultural Valuesp. 85
Rolesp. 87
Cognitive Abilitiesp. 87
Selfp. 89
Everyday Application: Discovering Your Implicit Personality Theoriesp. 90
Guidelines for Improving Perception and Communicationp. 90
Recognize That All Perceptions Are Partial and Subjectivep. 90
Avoid Mind Readingp. 91
Check Perceptions with Othersp. 92
Everyday Application: Checking Perceptionsp. 92
Distinguish between Facts and Inferencesp. 93
Guard against the Self-Serving Biasp. 93
Everyday Application: Using Tentative Languagep. 93
Guard against the Fundamental Attribution Errorp. 94
Monitor Labelsp. 94
Everyday Application: Guarding against the Fundamental Attribution Errorp. 95
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: The Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truthp. 96
Case Study: Continuing the Conversationp. 97
Chapter Summaryp. 99
Everyday Connections Onlinep. 99
Key Conceptsp. 100
For Further Thought and Discussionp. 100
The World of Wordsp. 101
The Symbolic Nature of Languagep. 102
Language Is Arbitraryp. 102
Language Is Ambiguousp. 103
Communication in Everyday Life-Technology: Technospeakp. 103
Language Is Abstractp. 104
Everyday Application: Communicating Clearlyp. 104
Principles of Verbal Communicationp. 105
Language and Culture Reflect Each Otherp. 105
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Our Multicultural Languagep. 105
Communication in Everday Life-Diversity: The Whorf-Sapir View of Languagep. 106
The Meanings of Language Are Subjectivep. 107
Language Use Is Rule Guidedp. 108
Communication in Everyday Life-Technology: Chat Room Etiquettep. 108
Everyday Application: Communication Rulesp. 109
Punctuation Shapes Meaningp. 110
Everyday Application: Punctuating Interactionp. 110
Symbolic Abilitiesp. 111
Language Definesp. 111
Language Evaluatesp. 112
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: The First Jewish Candidate for Vice Presidentp. 113
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Reappropriating Languagep. 114
Language Organizes Perceptionsp. 114
Language Allows Hypothetical Thoughtp. 115
Language Allows Self-Reflectionp. 116
Speech Communitiesp. 117
Gender Speech Communitiesp. 118
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Which Blacks' Black English?p. 121
Guidelines for Improving Verbal Communicationp. 121
Engage in Dual Perspectivep. 121
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Missing the Boatp. 122
Own Your Feelings and Thoughtsp. 122
Everyday Application: Using / Languagep. 123
Respect What Others Say about Their Feelings and Thoughtsp. 124
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Respecting Others' Experiencesp. 125
Strive for Accuracy and Clarityp. 125
Everyday Application: Using Concrete Languagep. 125
Case Study: Continuing the Conversationp. 127
Chapter Summaryp. 128
Everyday Connections Onlinep. 129
Key Conceptsp. 129
For Further Thought and Discussionp. 129
The World Beyond Wordsp. 131
Defining Nonverbal Communicationp. 132
Similarities between Verbal and Nonverbal Communicationp. 132
Differences between Verbal and Nonverbal Communicationp. 134
Principles of Nonverbal Communicationp. 135
Nonverbal Communication May Supplement or Replace Verbal Communicationp. 135
Nonverbal Communication May Regulate Interactionp. 135
Nonverbal Communication Often Establishes Relationship-Level Meaningsp. 135
Nonverbal Communication Reflects and Expresses Cultural Valuesp. 138
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: "I'll Move When I'm Ready and Not Before!"p. 138
Communication in Everyday Life-Technology: Multitasking Timep. 139
Types of Nonverbal Communicationp. 140
Kinesicsp. 140
Communication in Everyday Life-Work: Cultural Differences in Workplace Nonverbal Communicationp. 140
Everyday Application: Communicating Closenessp. 141
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: Kinesics to Discourage Assaultp. 142
Hapticsp. 142
Physical Appearancep. 143
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: Help with Eating Disordersp. 143
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: Beauty for Salep. 144
Artifactsp. 144
Communication in Everyday Life-Work: Identity Symbols in Military Lifep. 146
Environmental Factorsp. 146
Everyday Application: Artifacts and Identityp. 146
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Kwanzaap. 147
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Environmental Racismp. 148
Proxemics and Personal Spacep. 148
Everyday Application: What Does Your Space Say?p. 149
Chronemicsp. 149
Communication in Everyday Life-Work: The Time Bindp. 150
Paralanguagep. 150
Everyday Application: Paralinguistic Cuesp. 151
Silencep. 151
Guidelines for Improving Nonverbal Communicationp. 152
Monitor Your Nonverbal Communicationp. 152
Interpret Others' Nonverbal Communication Tentativelyp. 153
Everyday Application: Using / Language about Nonverbal Behaviorsp. 153
Case Study: Continuing the Conversationp. 155
Chapter Summaryp. 156
Everyday Connections Onlinep. 157
Key Conceptsp. 157
For Further Thought and Discussionp. 157
Mindful Listeningp. 158
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: "The spirit catches you, and you fall down."p. 160
The Listening Processp. 160
Mindfulnessp. 161
Physically Receiving Messagesp. 161
Communication in Everyday Life-Work: Good Listening = Career Advancementp. 161
Everyday Application: Being Mindfulp. 162
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Signing as a Foreign Languagep. 162
Selecting and Organizing Materialp. 163
Interpreting Communicationp. 164
Respondingp. 164
Everyday Application: Responsive Listeningp. 165
Rememberingp. 165
Obstacles to Mindful Listeningp. 165
External Obstaclesp. 166
Communication in Everyday Life-Technology: Technological Overloadp. 167
Internal Obstaclesp. 167
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Listening in a World Dominated by Sightp. 170
Forms of Nonlisteningp. 170
Pseudolisteningp. 171
Monopolizingp. 171
Selective Listeningp. 173
Defensive Listeningp. 173
Ambushingp. 173
Literal Listeningp. 174
Everyday Application: Identifying Your Nonlistening Habitsp. 174
Adapting Listening to Communication Goalsp. 175
Listening for Pleasurep. 175
Listening for Informationp. 175
Everyday Application: Improving Your Retentionp. 176
Listening to Support Othersp. 177
Everyday Application: Learning to Paraphrasep. 178
Everyday Application: Using Minimal Encouragersp. 179
Guidelines for Effective Listeningp. 180
Be Mindfulp. 180
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: More on Developing Listening Skillsp. 180
Adapt Listening Appropriatelyp. 180
Listen Activelyp. 181
Case Study: Continuing the Conversationp. 181
Chapter Summaryp. 183
Everyday Connections Onlinep. 183
Key Conceptsp. 184
For Further Thought and Discussionp. 184
Weaving Communication into Relationships
Emotions and Communicationp. 185
Emotional Intelligencep. 187
Communication in Everyday Life-Work: Emotional Intelligence on the Jobp. 187
Understanding Emotionsp. 188
Everyday Application: What's Your EQ?p. 188
Physiological Influences on Emotionsp. 190
Perceptual Influences on Emotionsp. 191
Social Influences on Emotionsp. 193
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: The Social Shaping of Griefp. 194
Everyday Application: Religions and Feeling Rulesp. 194
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Cultural Codes for Angerp. 195
Communication in Everyday Life-Work: Faking Itp. 196
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: The Gift of Fearp. 197
Obstacles to the Effective Communication of Emotionsp. 198
Reasons We May Not Express Emotionsp. 198
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Sugar and Spice and Bullying!p. 199
The Ineffective Expression of Emotionsp. 201
Everyday Application: Enlarging Your Emotional Vocabularyp. 202
Guidelines for Communicating Emotions Effectivelyp. 203
Everyday Application: Avoiding Counterfeit Emotional Languagep. 203
Identify Your Emotionsp. 204
Choose How to Express Emotionsp. 204
Own Your Feelingsp. 205
Communication in Everyday Life-Technology: Virtual Emotionsp. 206
Monitor Your Self-Talkp. 206
Adopt a Rational-Emotive Approach to Feelingsp. 206
Communication in Everyday Life-Work: Talking Yourself into-or out of-a Jobp. 208
Respond Sensitively When Others Communicate Emotionsp. 208
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: Albert Ellis in Actionp. 208
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: Managing Angerp. 209
Case Study: Continuing the Conversationp. 210
Chapter Summaryp. 211
Everyday Connections Onlinep. 212
Key Conceptsp. 212
For Further Thought and Discussionp. 212
Communication Climate: The Foundation of Personal Relationshipsp. 213
Features of Satisfying Personal Relationshipsp. 214
Investmentp. 215
Everyday Application: Your Investment in Relationshipsp. 215
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: What Keeps Relationships Together?p. 216
Commitmentp. 216
Trustp. 216
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Dialogue and Doing: Alternate Paths to Closenessp. 218
Comfort with Relational Dialecticsp. 219
Everyday Application: Applying Relational Dialecticsp. 221
Confirming and Disconfirming Climatesp. 222
Levels of Confirmation and Disconfirmationp. 222
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Guidelines for Communicating with People with Disabilitiesp. 224
Defensive and Supportive Climatesp. 224
Everyday Application: Analyzing Your Relationshipsp. 225
Everyday Application: Using Descriptive Languagep. 226
Everyday Application: Assessing Communication Climatesp. 230
Guidelines for Creating and Sustaining Healthy Climatesp. 230
Actively Use Communication to Build Confirming Climatesp. 230
Accept and Confirm Othersp. 231
Affirm and Assert Yourselfp. 231
Respect Diversity in Relationshipsp. 232
Everyday Application: Communicating Assertivelyp. 233
Respond Constructively to Criticismp. 234
Case Study: Continuing the Conversationp. 235
Chapter Summaryp. 237
Everyday Connections Onlinep. 238
Key Conceptsp. 238
For Further Thought and Discussionp. 238
Managing Conflict in Relationshipsp. 240
Defining Interpersonal Conflictp. 242
Expressed Disagreementp. 243
Interdependencep. 243
The Felt Need for Resolutionp. 243
Principles of Conflictp. 243
Conflict Is Natural in Relationshipsp. 244
Conflict May Be Overt or Covertp. 244
Everyday Application: Understanding Your Conflict Scriptp. 245
Social Groups Shape the Meaning of Conflict Behaviorsp. 246
Everyday Application: Identifying Games in Your Communicationp. 246
Conflict Can Be Managed Well or Poorlyp. 248
Conflict Can Be Good for Individuals and Relationshipsp. 249
Orientations to Conflictp. 250
Lose-Losep. 250
Win-Losep. 251
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Japanese and American Styles of Negotiationp. 252
Win-Winp. 252
Responses to Conflictp. 252
Everyday Application: Identifying Your Conflict Orientationsp. 253
The Exit Responsep. 253
The Neglect Responsep. 254
The Loyalty Responsep. 254
The Voice Responsep. 255
Communication Patterns during Conflictp. 255
Everyday Application: Enlarging Your Repertoire of Responses to Conflictp. 255
Unproductive Conflict Communicationp. 256
Constructive Conflict Communicationp. 258
Conflict Management Skillsp. 261
Guidelines for Effective Communication during Conflictp. 263
Focus on the Overall Communication Systemp. 263
Time Conflict Purposefullyp. 264
Aim for Win-Win Conflictp. 265
Honor Yourself, Your Partner, and the Relationshipp. 265
Show Grace When Appropriatep. 266
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: The Communication of Forgivenessp. 267
Case Study: Continuing the Conversationp. 268
Chapter Summaryp. 269
Everyday Connections Onlinep. 270
Key Conceptsp. 270
For Further Thought and Discussionp. 270
Friendships in Our Livesp. 272
The Nature of Friendshipp. 273
Willingness to Investp. 273
Everyday Application: Your Style of Friendshipp. 274
Emotional Closenessp. 274
Everyday Application: Appreciating Talking and Doing in Friendshipsp. 276
Acceptancep. 277
Trustp. 278
Supportp. 278
The Development of Friendshipp. 280
Role-Limited Interactionp. 281
Friendly Relationsp. 281
Moving toward Friendshipp. 281
Nascent Friendshipp. 281
Stabilized Friendshipp. 282
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: Maintaining Friendshipsp. 282
Waning Friendshipp. 283
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Friendships around the Worldp. 284
Pressures on Friendshipsp. 284
Internal Tensionsp. 284
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: Just Friends?p. 286
External Pressuresp. 286
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Friendships across the Life Spanp. 287
Everyday Application: Maintaining Friendship over Distancep. 288
Guidelines for Communication between Friendsp. 289
Engage in Dual Perspectivep. 290
Communicate Honestlyp. 290
Everyday Application: Communicating Needs Clearlyp. 291
Grow from Differencesp. 292
Don't Sweat the Small Stuffp. 292
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: A Both-And Approach to Relationshipsp. 293
Case Study: Continuing the Conversationp. 293
Chapter Summaryp. 295
Everyday Connections Onlinep. 295
Key Conceptsp. 295
For Further Thought and Discussionp. 296
Committed Romantic Relationshipsp. 297
Committed Romantic Relationshipsp. 298
Dimensions of Romantic Relationshipsp. 298
Communication in Everyday Life-Technology: The Rise of Online Romancep. 299
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: The Prototype of Lovep. 300
Styles of Lovingp. 300
Everyday Application: Measuring Love and Commitmentp. 302
The Development of Romantic Relationshipsp. 303
Growth Stagesp. 304
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Development of Interracial Relationshipsp. 305
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: The Real Valentine's Dayp. 306
Communication in Everyday Life-Technology: E-Crushesp. 307
Navigatingp. 308
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: The Chemistry of Lovep. 308
Deterioration Stagesp. 309
Everyday Application: Measuring the Strength of Your Relationshipp. 309
Guidelines for Communicating in Romantic Relationshipsp. 311
Engage in Dual Perspectivep. 311
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: Facts about Sexually Transmitted Diseasesp. 312
Practice Safer Sexp. 312
Manage Conflict Constructivelyp. 314
Adapt Communication to Maintain Long-Distance Relationshipsp. 315
Communication in Everyday Life-Technology: Coping with Geographic Separationp. 316
Case Study: Continuing the Conversationp. 317
Chapter Summaryp. 319
Everyday Connections Onlinep. 320
Key Conceptsp. 320
For Further Thought and Discussionp. 320
Communication in Familiesp. 321
Diversity in Family Lifep. 322
Diverse Forms of Familiesp. 323
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Color between the Linesp. 323
Diverse Goals for Familiesp. 324
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Love and Marriage Go Together Like ...p. 324
Cultural Diversity of Family Formsp. 325
Diversity of Paths to Commitmentp. 326
Long-Term Commitmentsp. 327
Cohabitationp. 327
Marriagep. 328
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Same-Sex Commitments around the Worldp. 329
Relationship Typesp. 329
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: "I do. I REALLY do."p. 329
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: Marital Typesp. 330
Everyday Application: Identifying Marital Typesp. 330
Communication and Satisfaction in Long-Term Commitmentsp. 331
The Family Life Cyclep. 332
Establishing a Familyp. 332
Enlarging a Familyp. 333
Everyday Application: Bundles of Joy and Changep. 334
Developing a Familyp. 334
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: Fatheringp. 335
Communication in Everyday Life-Diversity: Ethnicity and Parentingp. 335
Encouraging Independencep. 335
Launching Childrenp. 336
Postlaunching of Childrenp. 337
Everyday Application: Your Parents' Stage in Family Lifep. 337
Retirementp. 338
Everyday Application: Mapping Your Family's Life Cyclep. 338
Guidelines for Effective Communication in Familiesp. 339
Maintain Equity in Family Relationshipsp. 339
Communication in Everyday Life-Work: The Second Shiftp. 340
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: What Makes a Good Marriage?p. 341
Make Daily Choices That Enhance Intimacyp. 341
Show Respect and Considerationp. 342
Don't Sweat the Small Stuffp. 343
Communication in Everyday Life-Insight: Love as a Package Dealp. 343
Case Study: Continuing the Conversationp. 344
Chapter Summaryp. 347
Everyday Connections Onlinep. 347
Key Conceptsp. 347
For Further Thought and Discussionp. 347
Epilogue: Continuing the Conversationp. 349
Glossaryp. 353
Referencesp. 359
Indexp. 385
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