Interpersonal Conflict

by Wilmot, William W.

• ISBN13: 9780073135540
• ISBN10: 0073135542
• Edition: 7th
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2005-10-27
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill Humanities/Social Sciences/Languages

Summary

Written for courses such as Communication and Conflict, Interpersonal Conflict, Conflict Management, Conflict and Negotiation, and Conflict in Personal Relationships, this textbook examines the central principles of effective conflict management in a wide variety of contexts--from romantic relationships to the workplace. Its combination of up-to-date research and examples gives students theoretical as well as a practical foundation in conflict management.

Table of Contents

Preface	xiii
Acknowledgments	xv
Part ONE Conflict Components	1	(176)
The Nature of Conflict	2	(27)
Why Study Conflict?	2	(5)
A Beginning Example	7	(1)
Conflict Defined	8	(8)
An Expressed Struggle	9	(2)
Interdependence	11	(1)
Perceived Incompatible Goals	12	(2)
Perceived Scarce Resources	14	(1)
Interference	15	(1)
Destructive Conflict	16	(10)
Escalatory Spirals	21	(2)
Avoidance Spirals	23	(3)
A Note of Encouragement	26	(1)
Summary	27	(1)
Key Terms	28	(1)
Review Questions	28	(1)
Perspectives on Conflict	29	(33)
Your Personal History	29	(4)
Negative Views of Conflict	33	(3)
Positive Approaches to Conflict	36	(3)
Metaphors Make a Difference	39	(10)
Win-Lose Metaphors	39	(5)
Neutral or Objective Metaphors	44	(1)
Transformative Metaphors	45	(3)
Mixing the Metaphors	48	(1)
The Lens Model of Conflict	49	(4)
Gender Effects and Gender Filters	53	(3)
Gender Effects	53	(2)
Gender Filters	55	(1)
Cultural Effects and Cultural Filters	56	(4)
Cultural Effects	56	(1)
Cultural Effects Depend on Many Factors	57	(3)
Cultural Filters	60	(1)
Summary	60	(1)
Key Terms	60	(1)
Review Questions	61	(1)
Interests and Goals	62	(33)
Types of Goals: TRIP	63	(12)
Topic Goals: What Do We Want?	64	(1)
Relational Goals: Who Are We to Each Other?	65	(4)
Identity, or Face-Saving, Goals: Who Am I in This Interaction?	69	(5)
Process Goals: What Communication Process Will Be Used?	74	(1)
The Overlapping Nature of TRIP Goals	75	(7)
Goals Change in Interaction	82	(6)
Prospective Goals	83	(1)
Transactive Goals	83	(4)
Retrospective Goals	87	(1)
Goal Clarity	88	(3)
Clarify Your Goals	88	(2)
Estimate the Other's Goals	90	(1)
Collaborative Goals	91	(2)
Summary	93	(1)
Key Terms	94	(1)
Review Questions	94	(1)
Power: The Structure of Conflict	95	(35)
What Is Power?	95	(1)
Orientations to Power	96	(8)
Either/Or Power	97	(2)
Both/And Power	99	(2)
Designated Power	101	(1)
Power Denial	102	(2)
A Relational Theory of Power	104	(2)
Individual Power Currencies	106	(4)
Assessing Power: A Relational View	110	(5)
Power Imbalances	115	(4)
High Power	115	(1)
Low Power	116	(3)
Constructive Power Balancing	119	(2)
Approaches to Balancing Power	121	(7)
Restraint	121	(1)
Focus on Interdependence: Power to the Unit	122	(1)
The Power of Calm Persistence	123	(1)
Stay Actively Engaged	124	(2)
Empowerment of Low-Power People by High-Power People	126	(1)
Metacommunication	126	(1)
Things to Say When You Are Low Power	127	(1)
Summary	128	(1)
Key Terms	128	(1)
Review Questions	129	(1)
Styles and Tactics	130	(47)
The Nature of Styles and Tactics	130	(2)
Measuring Your Styles	132	(2)
Will You Avoid or Engage?	134	(4)
Avoidance	138	(7)
Avoidance and Culture	140	(1)
The Avoid/Criticize Loop	140	(2)
Avoidance Tactics	142	(3)
Competition	145	(12)
Threats	148	(2)
Verbal Aggressiveness	150	(2)
Bullying	152	(1)
Incidence of Violence	153	(1)
Patterns of Violence	154	(2)
Explanations for Violence	156	(1)
Compromise	157	(1)
Accommodation	158	(4)
Collaboration	162	(4)
Cautions about Styles	166	(3)
Interaction Dynamics	169	(3)
Flexibility Creates Constructive Conflict	172	(3)
Problems with Rigidity	173	(2)
Summary	175	(1)
Key Terms	175	(1)
Review Questions	176	(1)
Part TWO Intervention	177	(163)
Assessing Conflicts	178	(32)
Introduction to Assessment	178	(1)
Systems Theory: An Organizing Framework	178	(4)
Identifying Conflict Patterns	182	(1)
System Patterns	183	(3)
Metaphoric/Dramatic Analysis	186	(3)
Drawing Coalitions---Who Is In, Who Is Out?	189	(5)
Principle #1: Coalitions Begin for Good Reasons	190	(1)
Principle #2: Coalitions and Counter-Coalitions Become Self-Justifying	191	(1)
Principle #3: Coalitions Become the Problem	191	(1)
Principle #4: Clarify Coalitions by Drawing Them	192	(1)
Principle #5: Coalitions Predict Future Conflict	192	(1)
Principle #6: Change a System by Softening the Coalitions	193	(1)
Conflict Triangles	194	(3)
System Rules	197	(2)
Microevents	199	(4)
Observation and Interviews	203	(1)
Comprehensive Assessment Guides	204	(4)
Wilmot-Hocker Conflict Assessment Guide	204	(3)
The Difficult Conversations Guide	207	(1)
Summary	208	(1)
Key Terms	208	(1)
Review Questions	209	(1)
Moderating Your Conflicts	210	(33)
Three Approaches to Change	210	(1)
Personal Changes and Choices	211	(3)
The Midrange: Zone of Effectiveness	214	(1)
Choices about Avoidance	215	(4)
Choices about Escalation	219	(3)
Your Personal Conflict Philosophy	220	(2)
Conflict and Emotion	222	(10)
Dynamics of Anger and Fear	223	(3)
Anger Moderation and Expression	226	(1)
Reception of Angry Communication	227	(3)
Low Power and Emotions	230	(2)
Constructive Communication Practices	232	(3)
The Dialogue Process	232	(1)
Fractionation	233	(1)
Reframing	234	(1)
Examples of Communication Formats That Help Regulate Conflict	235	(5)
Conflict Containment Model	235	(2)
Family Meetings	237	(3)
Crisis Management	240	(1)
A Postscript on Further Education	240	(1)
Summary	241	(1)
Key Terms	241	(1)
Review Questions	242	(1)
Negotiating for Mutual Gains	243	(27)
Negotiation in Everyday Life	243	(1)
Negotiation Is Part of Conflict Resolution	244	(1)
Negotiation and Culture	245	(1)
Equalizing Power	246	(3)
Destructive Ways to Equalize Power	246	(1)
Constructive Argument	247	(2)
Approaches to Negotiation	249	(13)
Competitive Approaches	250	(2)
Collaborative Approaches	252	(6)
Principled Negotiation	258	(4)
The Language of Collaboration	262	(4)
Competitive and Collaborative Phases	266	(1)
Collaboration Checklist	267	(1)
Summary	268	(1)
Key Terms	268	(1)
Review Questions	269	(1)
Third-Party Intervention	270	(27)
The Need for Third Parties	270	(1)
Advantages of Using Competent Third Parties	271	(1)
Informal Intervention	272	(4)
Personal Intervention	272	(3)
Counseling as Informal Intervention	275	(1)
The Formal Intervention Continuum	276	(1)
When an Outsider Decides	277	(4)
Adjudication: Judge or Jury Decides	277	(3)
Arbitration: An Expert Decides	280	(1)
When the Parties Decide	281	(8)
Mediation	281	(3)
Mediation Settings	284	(5)
Mediation: Agreement or Transformation?	289	(1)
Mediation Process and Skills	290	(3)
Dispute Systems Design	293	(2)
Summary	295	(1)
Key Terms	295	(1)
Review Questions	296	(1)
Mending the Broken Branch: Forgiveness and Reconciliation	297	(29)
Gary W. Hawk
Forgiveness and Reconciliation in the Context of Interpersonal Conflict	297	(1)
Some Definitions	298	(1)
What's to Forgive?	298	(3)
Some Misconceptions about Forgiveness	301	(2)
When There Is an Imbalance of Power	303	(1)
The Matter of Memory	304	(2)
Decision or Process?	306	(1)
Forgiveness as a Process	307	(2)
Getting Stuck: Eddies in the River	309	(1)
The Personal and Interpersonal Dimensions of Forgiveness	310	(1)
Laying the Groundwork for Forgiveness or Reconciliation	311	(1)
Gestures	312	(1)
The Value and Limits of Apology	313	(3)
Switching the Point of View: Receiving Forgiveness and Forgiving Oneself	316	(2)
Reconciliation: A Late Stage in the Journey	318	(5)
Insights from History, Politics, and Literature	318	(1)
The Strand of Truth	319	(1)
The Strand of Forbearance	320	(1)
The Strand of Empathy	321	(1)
Commitment to the Relationship out of Awareness of Our Interdependence	322	(1)
Conclusion	323	(1)
Summary	324	(1)
Key Terms	324	(1)
Review Questions	325	(1)
Preventing Destructive Conflict	326	(14)
Prevention Defined	326	(1)
The Importance of Prevention	326	(2)
Core Values Lead to Best Practices	328	(1)
Learn from History	329	(2)
Recognize Cycles: Where Are You in the Big Picture?	331	(1)
Preventing Destructive Avoidance	332	(1)
When Others Avoid	332	(1)
When You Avoid	333	(1)
Preventing Destructive Escalation	333	(1)
When Others Escalate	333	(1)
When You Escalate	334	(1)
Prevention Interventions	334	(3)
Contracts Prevent Disputes	335	(1)
Problem Solving	336	(1)
Personal Change for Conflict Prevention	337	(1)
Address the Relationship and Identity Issues in Your Life	337	(1)
Finally, Communication is the Key	338	(1)
Summary	338	(1)
Key Terms	339	(1)
Review Questions	339	(1)
Appendix	340	(1)
References	341	(19)
Name Index	360	(3)
Subject Index	363