Living Through Personal Crisis

by Stearns, Ann Kaiser

• ISBN13: 9781882883875
• ISBN10: 188288387X
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2010-06-15
• Publisher: Idyll Arbor

Summary

All of us suffer personal crisis. It may be a death, divorce, job loss or other financial crisis, a broken love relationship, or an illness - any painful experience that forces us to re-examine and change our lives so that our grief can be overcome and new happiness be found. Book jacket.

Author Biography

Ann Kaiser Stearns, Ph.D., is the author of ôCounseling the Grieving Personö in the textbook, Pastoral Counseling; the best-selling Living Through Personal Crisis (published in seven languages); Coming Back ù Rebuilding Lives After Crisis and Loss; and Living Through Job Loss. She has authored articles on police officer and first responder exposure to traumatic events ù risk factors and resilience ù as well as a case study on resilience in the aftermath of a traumatic brain injury. Dr. Stearns is a noted professor of psychology who has received awards for ôExcellence in Teachingö from Loyola College, Johns Hopkins University, and the Maryland Psychological Association. Earlier in her career, she was a chaplain at Michigan State University and a behavioral scientist in the Family Practice Residency Program at Franklin Square Hospital. She is a longtime Professor of Psychology at the Community College of Baltimore County (CCBC), and also continues to teach veteran officers at the Baltimore County Police Academy. She lectures widely around the country and has been interviewed on more than 200 radio and television programs in the U.S. and Canada.

Table of Contents

Preface to the First Edition	p. ix
Preface to the New Edition	p. xiii
A Personal Note	p. xv
Acknowledgments	p. xvii
Not To Be Afraid	p. 1
Things Will Never Be the Same	p. 11
Feelings of Guilt and Self-Blame	p. 19
Unrealistic Guilt	p. 21
Realistic Guilt	p. 25
Moving beyond Guilty Feelings	p. 29
Physical Expressions of Loss	p. 33
Anxiety	p. 33
Aches and Pains	p. 35
Appetite	p. 36
Sleep	p. 37
Anger and Bitterness Can Be a Good Sign	p. 41
Anger	p. 41
Childhood	p. 43
Interrupted Life	p. 46
Protest	p. 47
Dealing with Anger	p. 49
What One Gets Is What One Resists	p. 55
Delayed Mourning	p. 56
Please Don't Misunderstand	p. 62
The Importance of Self-Caring Activities	p. 68
Friends	p. 69
Empathic Persons	p. 71
Basic Care Providers	p. 73
Destructive People	p. 75
Sexual Needs	p. 78
Avoiding Major Decisions	p. 80
Anticipating Difficult Days and Dates	p. 82
Expecting Unexpected Trouble	p. 85
A Slow Readjustment Back to Life and Work	p. 87
Time Away from Work	p. 88
Daily Routines	p. 89
The Awful Kindnesses of Others	p. 92
Unusually Prolonged Grief	p. 98
Atonement Themes	p. 100
A Suffering "Script"	p. 104
A Fateful Constellation of Events	p. 107
Idealization	p. 109
When Professional Help Is Needed	p. 111
My Story	p. 111
A Soldier's Story	p. 113
A Childhood Loss	p. 114
Too Much Crisis All at Once	p. 115
A Traumatic Loss	p. 116
Unspeakable Grief	p. 119
Finding Professional Help	p. 121
Sometimes Medication Is Needed	p. 124
Time Does Heal - But There Are Always Scars	p. 126
Following Loss - the Fear of More or Still Greater Loss	p. 128
Reliving Old Losses	p. 129
Delayed Happiness	p. 131
Some Survival Defenses Become a Way of Life	p. 132
Battle Stripes	p. 134
Cue Points for Evaluating Your Own Healing Process	p. 136
The Ability to Cope with Life	p. 137
Symbols of Transition	p. 138
Learning from the Loss	p. 140
Moving Forward	p. 142
Integrating the Loss	p. 143
From out of the Ashes...New Life	p. 146
Resurrection	p. 148
What You Have Experienced Belongs to You	p. 149
Life Is What It Is	p. 152
Moving forward: Stories of Hope and Triumph	p. 154
Tony: Triumph in the Aftermath of 9/11	p. 155
Lynn: A Cluster of People Helped Her Triumph	p. 160
Derek and Renée's Healing Journey	p. 163
Appendix: Commonly Asked Questions about Crisis	p. 172
Responding to Others	p. 172
Helping a Bereaved Child	p. 178
Why We Don't Cry	p. 181
Loneliness	p. 182
Nighttime Mourning	p. 183
Denial	p. 184
Suicidal Clues	p. 185
Bitterness	p. 186
Social Withdrawal	p. 187
Prolonged Idealization	p. 188
Abortion	p. 189
Healthy Spirituality	p. 191
Notes	p. 193
For Further Reading	p. 201
Index	p. 203
Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved.