Love Is Blind Only If You Are: A Woman’s Clear-headed Guide to Deliberate Dating

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  • Format: Hardcover
  • Copyright: 2012-08-31
  • Publisher: Author Solutions
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TABLE OF CONTENTS Chapter 1 That Dating Place - Is he interested? Am I? How do I know? How You Got Here Your Dating Age How You'll Know Better This Time It's a Process Chapter 2 Stuff No One Will Tell You 'Cause They Don't Know Either Cinderella Head Sex – To Do It or Not To Do It What You Want Versus How You Act Friends with Benefits Chapter 3 Your Real Friends The Value of a Real Friend Signs Your Friends are Worried Giving Up Friends Be Smart About Safety (I'm not talking about condoms.) Chapter 4 Drama Queen Why You Need to Know About Drama The Drama Source Drama Types What's the Alternative? Chapter 5 The Secret - It Starts with You The Default Dating Cycle You're Single, Not Alone What Does it Take to Keep You If He Calls or Not Be Deliberate Chapter 6 B.A.T.s, Bad Ass Trouble Signs of the Bad and Idiotic B.A.T. Types Once a B.A.T., Always a B.A.T.? We Allow It Chapter 7 Choosing Who Gets a Chance Not Every Man Deserves a Chance Defining Mr. Right for You Live Your Standards Chemistry The Answer is Obvious Chapter 8 Danger! Danger! You're About to Settle. The Mr. Good Enough Trap Does He Like Me What Was I Thinking Danger Signs Where IS He??? The Good Man Who's Great In Bed? Chapter 9 Breaking Up Have an Anthem Breakup Sponsor Knowing Why I Wish It Were Different Chapter 10 The Possibilities There are Men Everywhere Dating Fatigue Taking the Risk The Heart of the Matter Contact the Author Glossary INTRODUCTION We love romantic movies where the guy gets the girl and before the credits roll, they're headed blissfully down the aisle. That might be a great wedding event, but is it a relationship? Sometimes the heroine is swept off her feet by a real sleaze ball who doesn't deserve to be on the same planet with her. This got me thinking: •Why do women make life-long relationship decisions based on what it takes to get or keep him instead of what it takes for him to deserve us? •Why do we run our love lives on default, going through the dating motions until one of the men we meet decides to stay around a while instead of choosing who we want to have around? The default setting is no way to create a joyful, fulfilling life with the love and devotion you seek. One of the best things I ever did for my love life was to engage my business sense and figure out some dating standards. In business, I begin with "What are we trying to accomplish?" The question creates a common direction and defines the criteria for what you want. Making well thought-out compromises along the way is part of the process. We're being deliberate, not making decisions by default. So I ask you - why aren't we using our heads – our deliberate self – when it comes to love? Your heart must be part of the process, though it shouldn't be the only factor in choosing who gets a chance. Time and time again, I see women make the same mistakes I have and ignore the Bad Ass Trouble Signs (B.A.T.) when it comes to dating and relationships. It means you settle for what you find, instead of what you want, and compromise yourself in the process... all under the mask of love. I learned these lessons the slow, painful way, and sometimes it took more than once, so my intention is to shorten your learning curve. •It's about choosing not settling. •Knowing yourself first, before you decide who he should be. •Having the strength to walk away from a man you know isn't right for you. (I avoided two divorces because I let go of men I knew weren't a match before we headed down the aisle.) Along with my own love lessons, throughout my life I've been honored that people have sought me out for help, perspective and a voice of reason for their life and relationship problems. After much encouragement to share my experience and practical wisdom with women everywhere, I give you Love is Blind Only if You Are. Building the courage to make good deliberate decisions with your head and your heart is a devoted theme throughout. May it bring you some insight, support, laughter, and knowledge. Most importantly, may it empower you, your relationships, and your love life. Date Deliberately, Debra

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