Love Online

by Kaufmann, Jean-Claude

• ISBN13: 9780745651835
• ISBN10: 0745651836
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Hardcover
• Copyright: 2012-03-05
• Publisher: Polity

Summary

The internet has changed the face of romantic encounters. In a world where anything is possible, a potential date - whether it be a one-night stand or the start of a more lasting relationship - can be just a click away. Anyone looking for love online can throw off their inhibitions and can say what they have never dared to before. The internet revolution has ensured that online-dating has now become both widespread and commonplace. Online users can buy into the consumerist illusion that they can choose a man or woman in the same way that they would shop for groceries - this is the new hypermarket of desire. Women in particular can enjoy a new sexual assertiveness. Where once they might have looked for an emotional attachment, they are now demanding simply the right to have a good time. However, love cannot be reduced to such simple terms. The apparently risk-free world of online dating is at odds with love in real life, which has its own demands and expectations. You cannot introduce another person into your life and expect everything to remain the same. Human beings have a way of turning your life upside down. The internet is changing the rules of the game of love. Online dating is easy and intoxicating, but it is full of hidden traps that can make it even more difficult to find love. In this compelling book, Jean-Claude Kaufmann navigates this new emotional world and explores the tensions between sex and love, instant gratification and enduring commitment.

Author Biography

Jean-Claude Kaufmann is Professor of Sociology at University of Paris V Sorbonne.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Prologue: On the net

Love’s new world

The hypermarket of desire

A virtual slap in the face

A New Drug

What Does ‘Just for Sex’ Mean?

The Net’s Hidden Treasures

In real life

‘You never know what to expect’

‘I Felt A Bit Like A Call Girl’

‘I’m Looking For a Man’

First steps

The Sound of Heels

Why Are so Many People Stood Up?

Inner Beauty

Dates That Do Not Work Out

Making a Quick Get-Away

Having a Drink

Who Pays the Bill?

Getting It Right

Getting it right

A New Courtly Code

Should You Kiss on A First Date?

At Your Own Pace

Kino Escalation

Chemistry

‘If He’s A Good Kisser’

A new dance

The Revolution in the Dating System

What Flirting Means

‘Would You Like To Dance?’

The Whole World is A Dance Hall

Pleasure and feeling

Should you have sex on a first date ?

‘If You Want To’

Where’s The Harm?

‘Slag!’

A World Apart

Cafés Elsewhere

Sex as a leisurely activity

When Sex Broke Free From Feelings

Sexual Liberation: How Do Things Really Stand?

Feeling Good Together

The Story of A

Post Coitum

The game

The Games People Play

A Popular Sport

Statistics

Some Portraits

Disgust and Cynicism

The lovesex imbroglio

A Little Love

FWBs

A New Relationship With Exes?

People Still Want Long-Term Relationships

Sex Is Not A Leisure Activity Like Any Other

Sex, Lies and The Internet

Sex/Love: A Historical Reversal

Women, Sex and Love

Unbridled pleasure?

Provisional Freedom

Men Never Change

Freedom, Equality and Sexuality

Revolt

The Impossible Golden Mean

A Cold, Selfish Monster

More

The ‘bad boy’ paradox

From Prince Charming to Bad Boy

In Praise of Pick-Up Artists

Return of the Bastard

Avoiding the traps

Sex Today

A Break From Normal Life

Men As Sex Toys

A Cycle

The Dilemma

Why Women Are Wallflowers

SexLove

Conclusion

Appendix: on methodology

References

Table of Contents provided by Publisher. All Rights Reserved.