Making Hostile Words Harmless : A Guide to the Power of Positive Speaking for Helping Professionals and Their Clients

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  • Format: Paperback
  • Copyright: 2008-05-02
  • Publisher: Wiley

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What is included with this book?


Random rudeness from strangers and cruel comments flourish in relationships of all kinds. Backtalk, bad attitudes, and disrespect are elusive problems that push the buttons of many adults who are ill-equipped to handle encounters with difficult people. This creative and engaging book offers effective strategies for persons seeking an antidote to verbal venom. Whether the skills shared in this gem are shared in session or given as empowering homework, the goal is the same- - to end word warfare for good.

Author Biography

Kate Cohen-Posey is Director of Psychiatric & Psychological Services in Lakeland, Florida. She is the author of Empowering Dialogues Within: A Workbook for Helping Professionals and Their Clients, Brief Therapy Client Handouts (both published by Wiley) and How to Handle Bullies, Teasers, and Other Meanies. A dynamic presenter, she has a passion for helping laypeople and professionals discover grace in life's grueling moments.

Table of Contents

Case Storiesp. xi
Introductionp. xiii
Acknowledgmentsp. xxi
Difficult People and the Art of Aikidop. 1
Martial Arts-East Does Not Meet Westp. 2
Verbal Artsp. 3
Instinctual Reactionsp. 4
Turning the Spotlightp. 5
Response versus Reactionp. 6
Acting as If-The Art of Confirmingp. 9
What and Why of Confirmingp. 10
Art of Agreementp. 11
Speak It as You Want Itp. 13
Counting on Complimentsp. 16
Drama Is Worth a Thousand Wordsp. 22
Reverse Resistance with Psychologyp. 24
Exercisep. 25
All-Purpose Confirmationsp. 27
Asking Questions-The Art of Inquiryp. 31
Dialoguesp. 32
Pseudoquestionsp. 34
Asking Questions to Avoid Assumptionsp. 35
Asking Hidden Questions to Promote Contemplationp. 37
Spotlight Effectp. 38
Asking Questions to Prevent Pryingp. 39
Asking Questions to Evoke Inquiryp. 41
Asking Questions that Give People a False Choicep. 44
Asking Questions that Predict Successp. 46
Exercisep. 47
All-Purpose Questionsp. 49
Active Listening-The Art of Understandingp. 51
How Listening Became Activep. 52
Therapeutic Triangles-Reflect Harsh Words Away from Targetsp. 58
Narrating Behavior and Dictionp. 59
Naming the Gamep. 61
Filial Therapy Narrationsp. 62
Refinement of Active Listeningp. 64
Active Listening Add-Onsp. 65
Active Listening for Empowermentp. 67
Exercisep. 71
Advantages of Active Listeningp. 73
Hypnosis and Humor-The Art of Evokingp. 75
Modern Hypnotherapyp. 76
Hypnotic Basics in the Verbal Artsp. 78
Advanced Hypnotic Patternsp. 79
Exercisep. 95
Comedy Connectionp. 97
Taking a Stand by Opposingp. 101
"I" Positionp. 102
Taking a Stand Effortlesslyp. 103
Disagreeing Effortlesslyp. 108
Handling a Backlashp. 109
Buber Takes a Standp. 111
Teaching Positive Speaking to Clientsp. 115
Positive Speaking Training Stepsp. 115
Aikido Cross Training (Step 5)p. 117
Positive Speaking for Interpersonal Issuesp. 118
Interference from Inner Bulliesp. 120
Limits of Positive Speakingp. 122
Goals of Positive Speakingp. 124
Maintaining Balance with High-Wire Familiesp. 125
Workshops on Positive Speakingp. 129
Bonus: For Practice or Presentationsp. 130
Possible Workshop Titlesp. 130
Program Descriptionp. 131
Learning Objectivesp. 132
Materialsp. 133
Scripted Program Outlinep. 133
Quizp. 143
Feedback Formp. 148
Handoutp. 149
Questionnairep. 150
Cruel Comments Worksheetp. 150
Quiz Answersp. 155
Verbal Arts Termsp. 159
All-Purpose One-Linersp. 165
Psychotherapy Approaches Referenced in the Textp. 167
Referencesp. 171
About the Authorp. 173
Indexp. 175
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