Making Hostile Words Harmless A Guide to the Power of Positive Speaking For Helping Professionals and Their Clients

by Cohen-Posey, Kate

• ISBN13: 9780470281949
• ISBN10: 0470281944
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2008-05-02
• Publisher: Wiley

Summary

Random rudeness from strangers and cruel comments flourish in relationships of all kinds. Backtalk, bad attitudes, and disrespect are elusive problems that push the buttons of many adults who are ill-equipped to handle encounters with difficult people. This creative and engaging book offers effective strategies for persons seeking an antidote to verbal venom. Whether the skills shared in this gem are shared in session or given as empowering homework, the goal is the same- - to end word warfare for good.

Author Biography

Kate Cohen-Posey is Director of Psychiatric & Psychological Services in Lakeland, Florida. She is the author of Empowering Dialogues Within: A Workbook for Helping Professionals and Their Clients, Brief Therapy Client Handouts (both published by Wiley) and How to Handle Bullies, Teasers, and Other Meanies. A dynamic presenter, she has a passion for helping laypeople and professionals discover grace in life's grueling moments.

Table of Contents

Case Stories	p. xi
Introduction	p. xiii
Acknowledgments	p. xxi
Difficult People and the Art of Aikido	p. 1
Martial Arts-East Does Not Meet West	p. 2
Verbal Arts	p. 3
Instinctual Reactions	p. 4
Turning the Spotlight	p. 5
Response versus Reaction	p. 6
Acting as If-The Art of Confirming	p. 9
What and Why of Confirming	p. 10
Art of Agreement	p. 11
Speak It as You Want It	p. 13
Counting on Compliments	p. 16
Drama Is Worth a Thousand Words	p. 22
Reverse Resistance with Psychology	p. 24
Exercise	p. 25
All-Purpose Confirmations	p. 27
Asking Questions-The Art of Inquiry	p. 31
Dialogues	p. 32
Pseudoquestions	p. 34
Asking Questions to Avoid Assumptions	p. 35
Asking Hidden Questions to Promote Contemplation	p. 37
Spotlight Effect	p. 38
Asking Questions to Prevent Prying	p. 39
Asking Questions to Evoke Inquiry	p. 41
Asking Questions that Give People a False Choice	p. 44
Asking Questions that Predict Success	p. 46
Exercise	p. 47
All-Purpose Questions	p. 49
Active Listening-The Art of Understanding	p. 51
How Listening Became Active	p. 52
Therapeutic Triangles-Reflect Harsh Words Away from Targets	p. 58
Narrating Behavior and Diction	p. 59
Naming the Game	p. 61
Filial Therapy Narrations	p. 62
Refinement of Active Listening	p. 64
Active Listening Add-Ons	p. 65
Active Listening for Empowerment	p. 67
Exercise	p. 71
Advantages of Active Listening	p. 73
Hypnosis and Humor-The Art of Evoking	p. 75
Modern Hypnotherapy	p. 76
Hypnotic Basics in the Verbal Arts	p. 78
Advanced Hypnotic Patterns	p. 79
Exercise	p. 95
Comedy Connection	p. 97
Taking a Stand by Opposing	p. 101
"I" Position	p. 102
Taking a Stand Effortlessly	p. 103
Disagreeing Effortlessly	p. 108
Handling a Backlash	p. 109
Buber Takes a Stand	p. 111
Teaching Positive Speaking to Clients	p. 115
Positive Speaking Training Steps	p. 115
Aikido Cross Training (Step 5)	p. 117
Positive Speaking for Interpersonal Issues	p. 118
Interference from Inner Bullies	p. 120
Limits of Positive Speaking	p. 122
Goals of Positive Speaking	p. 124
Maintaining Balance with High-Wire Families	p. 125
Workshops on Positive Speaking	p. 129
Bonus: For Practice or Presentations	p. 130
Possible Workshop Titles	p. 130
Program Description	p. 131
Learning Objectives	p. 132
Materials	p. 133
Scripted Program Outline	p. 133
Quiz	p. 143
Feedback Form	p. 148
Handout	p. 149
Questionnaire	p. 150
Cruel Comments Worksheet	p. 150
Quiz Answers	p. 155
Verbal Arts Terms	p. 159
All-Purpose One-Liners	p. 165
Psychotherapy Approaches Referenced in the Text	p. 167
References	p. 171
About the Author	p. 173
Index	p. 175
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