Summary

This book contains everything you need to know to be a man. Everything . It will prepare you for every situation you can imagine, from the office to the bedroom. It will improve your life no matter what you're doing...whether you're in a bar, in a fight, in a wedding, in an argument, at a game, at work, or in a stranger's bed. It's time to be a man. Read this book.

Author Biography

Otto DeFay is a free-lance writer and sports data analyst who spends most of his life on the road staying in barely decent hotels. Among his notable achievements are scoring a hole-in-one at the Russian Jack Springs Golf Course in Anchorage, Alaska and breaking three ribs during a layup in the final four seconds of his high school basketball championship. He has not dated anybody famous--yet--but he did win $17,550 once while playing blackjack in Las Vegas. The Man Book, published by St. Martin's Press, was his first book.

A THOUSAND NAMES FOR YOUR PENIS (NOT COUNTING PENIS)

ace in the hole • acorn Andy • Adam halfpint • Admiral Winky • AIDS grenade • the Alabama blacksnake • albino cave dweller • all-day sucker • anaconda • anal impaler • anal intruder • anal spear • ankle spanker • apple-headed monster • ass blaster • ass pirate • ass wedge • auger-headed gut wrench

baby maker • baby’s arm holding an apple • baby’s arm in a boxing glove • bacon bazooka • bacon rod • bad boy • bagpipe • Bald Avenger • the bald-headed beauty • bald-headed giggle stick • bald-headed hermit • bald-headed Jesus • bald-headed yogurt slinger • bald-headed spunkjuice dispenser • ball buddy • baloney pony • banana • battering ram • bayonet • Bavarian beefstick • beanstalk • beard splitter • beastus maximus • beaver buster • Beaver Cleaver • bed flute • bed snake • beef baton • beef bayonet • beef bugle • beef bus • beef missile • beef soldier • beef stick • Beefy McManstick • bell rope • belly stick • best leg of three • (big) beanpole • big Jake the one-eyed snake • big Jim and the twins • big Johnson • Big Lebowski • big number one • Big Red • big rod • big uncle • biggus dickus • Bilbo Baggins • bishop • the bishop with his nice red hat • bitch blaster • bitch stick • bits and pieces • blind butler • blind snake • blood blunt • blood slug • blood sword • Blow Pop • blowtorch • blue steel • blue-veined jackhammer • blue-veined junket pumper • blue-veined piccolo • blue-veined custard chucker • blue-veiner • blunt • Bob • Bob Johnson • bobo • bone • bone phone • bone a phone • bone roller-coaster • boneless beef • boneless fish • boner • bone-her • bop gun • bottle rocket • bowlegged swamp donkey • box buster • boy brush • bradford and the pair • bratwurst • breakfast burrito • breakfast wood • broom • Brutus • bubba • bulbous big-knob • bumtickler • bush beater • bush rusher • bushwhacker • Buster Hymen • Buster McThunderstick • butt blaster • butt pirate • butter churn • butter knife

candy cane • caped crusader • Captain Bilbo • Captain Crook • Captain Hook • Captain Howdy • Captain Kirk • Captain Winky • carnal stump • cattle prod • cave hunter • cax • cervix crusader • cervix pounder • chancellor • the chap • Charlie Russell the one-eyed muscle • cheese staff • cherry picker • cherry-poppin’ daddy • cherry splitter • Chi Zi Wang • chick sticker • chicksicle • chief of staff • chimbo • chimney cleaner • choo-choo • choad (chode) • chorizo • chowder dumper • chubby • chubby conquistador • chum • chunk o’ love • chunder thunder • cigar • circus boy • clam digger • clam hammer • clam sticker • clit tickler • clown • the cob • cock • cock goblin • cocktus • cockus erectus • codger • colon cowboy • colon crusader • colossus • command module • coral branch • corned beef lighthouse • corn dog • cornholer • cornstalk • cornstalk cowboy • crack hunter • crack smacker • cramstick • crank • crank shaft • cream-filled meat stick • cream bandit • cream cannon • creamsicle • creamstick • cream spritzer • crimson chitterling • crimson Darth Vader • crippler • crotch cobra • crotch cowboy • crotch rocket • crotch vomiter • crushin’ Russian • the cum pump • cummingtonite • cunny-catcher • cunt caper • the cunt companion • cunt pumper • cunt rifle • cunt scrubber • Cupid’s arrow • Curious George • custard cannon • custard pump • cyclops

daddy long-stroke • danglin’ fury • danglin’ wang • dangling participle • dart of love • Darth Vader • Davy Crockett • deep-veined purple-helmeted spartan of love • demeanor • the diamond cutter • dick • Dick and his two swingers • Dick and the twins • dickimus maximus • dickory dock • dickory-smoked coal sausage • digit • diller • dilly-ho-ho • ding-a-ling • ding-dong • dingle • dingle dangle • dingledong • dinglehopper • dingus • dingy • dinky • dipstick • Dirk Diggler • divining rod • dobber • docking tube • dolphin • dong • dong-bong • dong-stick • dongle • donker • Donkey Kong • doodad • doo-dah • doodle • doodle dandy • dooker • doohickey • doppelganger • dork • doughnut holder • dribbling dart of love • dribbling dragon • Dr. Cyclops • Dr. Feelgood • Dr. Wang • Duke • dumb stick • dungula bone

early riser • earthworm Jim • easy rider • egg roll • eight inches of throbbing pink Jesus • equipment • El Capitan • El Presidente • elastic plastic • elephant trunk • Elmer the glue shooter • Elvis • engine cranker • everlasting gob-dropper • every-other-time • excreting eel • executive staff member

family jewels • fandangle • Fat Albert • fat finger • fat Johnson • fetus feeler • fiddle bow • fiddle stick • fire-breathing dragon • fire hose • fire rod • fireman Ed • firm worm • Fishhook • fishing rod • fishing tackle • flapdoodle • fleshbone • flesh bat • flesh enema • flesh flute • flesh hoagie • flesh injection • flesh maggot • flesh pistol • flesh rocket • flesh tornado • flesh trumpet • flesh twinkie • fleshy Winnebago • flip-flap • fluid spitter • foaming beef probe • foo-foo • foofer (foof) • fool sticker • footlong • fondo worm • frank’n’ beans • frankfurter • Freddy firehose • Freddy fish monger • Free Willy • frigamajig • frightful hog • fuck flute • fuck puppet • fuckpole • fuckstick • fudgepacker • full meal • fun gun • fun truncheon • fury • fuzzbuster

gadget • gag mallet • gap stopper • gash mallet • gearshift • general • German soldier • gherkin • giant-sized manthing • giggle stick • gimmer stick • Girthy McGirth • girthy sausage • giving tree • gleaming love sword • glo worm • gluestick • Godzilla • goo pipe • goose’s neck • governor • Grabthar’s hammer • Grandpa’s knee • granite edifice • gravy maker • great pyramid • grinding tool • guided muscle • gummi worm • gushin’ Prussian • gut buster • gut stick • gut tapper • gut wrench guy

hairy pencil • hair splitter • Hairy Houdini • Hairy Scary and the two bald men • ham roll • hammer of Thor • Hampton • handfucker • handgun • handwarmer • Handy Andy • hang-lo • hanging chad • hanging hag • hanging Johnny • happy worm • hard-on • hardware • Harry • Harry & the Hendersons • Harry hot dog • he-ham • he-man sword • he who must be obeyed • heat-seeking moisture missile • helmet man • Herbie • Herculean lizard • Herman the one-eyed German • Herman von Longschlongstein • hidden treasure • high pressure vein cane • his eminence • his majesty • his rig • hog • hog leg • hole cork • holy poker • holy water sprinkler • home wrecker • honeypot cleaver • honey stick • Honk the magic goose • hoo hoo • hooded warrior • hooty hoo • horse-necked clam • hose • hot beef injection • hot dog • hot popsicle • hot tamale • Hugo • humdiddler • Hung Wei Lo • hunka-hunka burnin’ love • hymen hammer

ice cream machine • impregnator • incredible bulk • inflatable iron • injection erection • instant sex drive lever • Inter Cuntinental Ballistic Missile • intrusion protrusion • invincible man • iron horse • iron rod • Italian stallion • itty bitty meat • Ivan the Terrible • ivory shaft

Jack in the box • jackhammer • Jake the one-eyed snake • javelin • jellyfish • jerkin’ gherkin • jibberstick • jigger • jiggling bone • Jim and the twins • Jiminy Cricket • Jimmy • Jimmy Wriggler • jing jang • jingle bone • jizz syringe • jizz whiz • jockey stick • Johnson • John Thomas • John Thursday • Johnny Come Early • joint • JoJo the circus clown • jolly green giant • jolly jellybean • joyprong • joystick • Julio • junior • junk

Kaptain Kielbasa • Ken Cracker • Kentucky horn • Kentucky telescope • Kibbles’n Bits • kickstand • kidney cracker • kidney scraper • kielbasa • king • King Dingaling • King Dong • the kipper ripper • knee knocker • knowledge stick • knob • Kojak • Komodo dragon • Kong • kosher pickle

lady dagger • lance of love • lap rope • leaky faucet • leather lollipop • Lewinski lunch • lickin’ stick • licorice stick • life preserver • lil’ buddy • lil’ Mister • Lincoln log • little admiral • the little bastard • little Billy • little bishop in a turtleneck • little brother • little colonel • little Dickie • little Dutch boy • little Elvis • little friend • little gator • little guy • little Jesus • little Juan • little man • little shepherd boy • little slugger • little Willy • live sausage • lizard • lobster • lollipop • Long Dong Silver • long John • long Tom • Longrod Von Hugenstein • Lord James D’Armais • Lord Plumber • Louisville plugger • Louisville slugger • love gun • love leg • love log • love lollipop • love meat • love muscle • loven-ator • the love pole • love pump • love sausage • love stick • love sub • love sword • love thruster • love train • love truncheon • love wand • love weasel • love whistle • love torpedo • lucky Chucky • lunch • lunchmeat truncheon • lung disturber • lung puncturer • (luscious) lollipop

magenta mushroom • magic Johnson • magic member • magic wand • main vein • Major Manchowder • Major Woody • man-dingler • man-milk dispenser • man-child • mangina • mangroin • manimal • man axe • man cannon • man hammer • man loaf • man log • man meat • man muscle • man pipe • man plow • man pole • man root • man’s best friend • marriage tackle • marrowbone • master blaster • Master John Goodfellow • master of ceremonies • Master Wang • mayonnaise cannon • mayonnaise pistol • maypole • meat • meat’n’ potatoes • meat’n’ (two) veggies • meat balloon • meat bat • meat cigar • meat flute • meat hammer • meat missile • meat musket • meat pipe • meat pole • meat popsicle • meat puppet • meat skewer • meat speculum • meat stick • meat straw • meat thermometer • meat train • meat whistle • meat wrench • meaty cudgel • meaty internal spine support • meaty tongue depressor • melon baster • member • menstrual miner • Midas • middle leg • midnight wangler • mighty anaconda • mighty Dolan • mighty Joe Young • mighty monkey • mighty Thor • the milkman • Mini-Me • mister • mister happy • Moby Dick • mojo • molten mushroom • monkeymaker • monkey • monkey tamer • monster • Monty’s python • morning muscle • Moses • Mr. Bendy • Mr. Big • Mr. Bigglesworth • Mr. Bo • Mr. Boing Boing • Mr. Bojangles • Mr. Clean • Mr. Eel-y • Mr. Friendly • Mr. Giggles • Mr. Happy • Mr. Jiggle Daddy • Mr. Johnson and the juice crew • Mr. Magoo • Mr. Merrymaker • Mr. Microphone • Mr. Mojo Risin’ • Mr. Mouth Missle • Mr. Mushroom Head • Mr. Pee-pee • Mr. Peepers • Mr. Potato Head • Mr. President • Mr. Rogers • Mr. Salami • Mr. Sniffles • Mr. Toad’s wild ride • Mr. Wiggles • Mr. Wigglestick • Mr. Wiggly • Mr. Willy • Mr. Winky • Mr. Wobbly • muff marauder • muffin butterer • mule • murky lurker • muscle of love • mushroom on a stick • mushroom-tipped love dart • mustn’touchit • mutton dagger • mutton javelin • mutton pole • muzzled bulldog

nail • Navajo hogan • the Nebuchadnezzar • needle • nightcrawler • nightstick • nimrod • nine-inch knocker • nuke

old one-eye • old blind Bob • old chap • old drizzly • Old Faithful • old fella • old man • old slimy • Oliver Twist • one-eyed bathtub eel • one-eyed blue-vein • one-eyed Charlie and the stink twins • one-eyed cornhusker • one-eyed cow killer • one-eyed custard chucker • one-eyed Fred • one-eyed giant • one-eyed gopher • one-eyed hip snake • one-eyed horny newt • one-eyed Jack • one-eyed milkman • one-eyed moisture missle • one-eyed monster • one-eyed nightcrawler • one-eyed snake • one-eyed superhero • one-eyed throbbing python of love • one-eyed trouser mouse • one-eyed trouser psychic • one-eyed trouser snake • one-eyed trouser trout • one-eyed Willy • one-eyed wonder weasel • one-eyed wonder worm • one-eyed wrinkle-necked trouser trout • one-eyed yogurt thrower • one-holed bologna phone • one-holed friction whistle • one hundred percent all-beef thermometer • one-string bass • Optimus Prime • organ • other head • Otis Deepthroatis • our one-eyed brother • ovarian pool stick • oyster probe

package • pajama python • Palm Pilot • Panda Express • pants snake • papa’s poker • passion pistol • passion pump • peacemaker • peanut • pearl diver • pearl pole • Pebbles and Bam Bam • pecker • Pedro • pee-pee • Pee-Wee • peener • peenie • pelvic punisher • pelvis thumb • pencil • pendulum • peni • penial • Pennis the Menace • Pepe • Peppito • Percy • perpendicular pickle • the Pete(r) • Peter the Great • petit Jesu • phallus • piccolo • pickle • pied piper • piece • piece of pork • pig in a blanket • pigskin bus • pigsticker • pikestaff • pile driver • pillipacker • pimp cane • pimpin’ stick • pink cigar • Pink Floyd • pink oboe • pink-seeking missile • pink torpedo • pinkle • pipe cleaner • piss pump • piss handle • piss whistle • pisser • piston rod • placenta poker • pleasure missile • pleasure pickle • pleasure piston • plonker • pocket pool stick • pocket rocket • Polish kielbasa • polished pine • plum-tree shaker • pocket otter • pocket perch • pocket rocket • Poka-her-hontas • pogo stick • pointer • pole • polvo • polyphemus • pompadoodle • poon farmer • poon prod • poon wrecker • poontanger • poozle weasel (woozle) • Pope John Pole III • Popeye • porcelain plumber • porridge gun • pork knife • pork sword • pork truncheon • porkeroon • porksicle • porn prong • porridge pump • power rod • power prawn • premeditator • presidential podium • prick • prickolo • pride and joy • primus pilus • Prince Charming • Prince Everhard of the Netherlands • private parts • probe • prong • protein spicket • protein torpedo • pube kabob • pubic bong • pud • Puff the Magic Dragon • pulsating python of love • pulsating woodwind • pump-action yogurt rifle • pump handle • pumping pole of penile power • pup tent • puppet Jack • purple avenger • purple bulb • purple-headed bed snake • purple-headed belly ripper • purple-headed cum shooter • purple-headed custard chucker • purple-headed love truncheon • purple-headed meat scepter • purple-headed pirate • purple-headed punisher • purple-headed warrior • purple-headed womb broom • purple-headed womb ferret • purple-headed yogurt slinger • purple-helmeted soldier of love • purple-helmeted Nazi of love • purple-helmeted warrior • purple muffin • purple mushroom • purple pile driver • purple pork chop • purple pulsating pillar of power • pussy duster • pussy piston • pussy plumber • pussy plunger • pussy poker • pussy pounder • pussy stretcher • pud • putz

quarter master • quarter pounder with cheese • quickshot Sam • quim-tickler • quivering member

rainbow roll • Ralph the fur-faced chicken • ramburglar • ramrod • ranger • real deal • Reaming Tower of Penis • red ender • red-helmeted love warrior • red-hot poker • red rocket • rhubarb • Richard and the twins • Richard Cranium • Richard Head • Rick Hard • ring stinger • rising cedar • rocket to Uranus • rod • rod hard ride • rod of lordly might • Rodney Stickshift • Rodzilla • rogering ramjet • rolling pin • Roman soldier • root • root of all evil • Roto-Rooter • round steak • ruby-headed love dart • ruddy sausage • rump wrangler • Rumpleforeskin • Russell the love muscle • Russell the one-eyed (wonder) muscle

salami • salami grande • salty dog • sausage roll • scabby mayonnaise revolver • scepter • schlong • Schlongmaster 2000 • schnickel • schnitzel • schvance/schvantz • schvontz/schwantz • Schwartz • Scooby snack • schlort • schmeckle • schmuck • seed shooter • Señor Happy • Sergeant Stiffy • serpentine • sex pistol • shaft • shaft of Cupid • sheep shank • sheep shifter • shift stick • shit hook • shit stick • short arm • shrimp boat • silk shocker • silly Willy’s stick of mayhem • single-bore mayonnaise pistol • Sir Martin Wagstaff • Sir Spanks-a-Lot • six shooter • skin boat • skin bus • skin diver • skin flute • skivvies lizard • skippy • Sleeping Beauty • Slick Dilly • Slim Jim • slim reaper • the slippery love dolphin • sliteyed demon • slong • sludge pump • slut stick • snappy beef stick • snot sausage • soldier • solicitor general • soul pole • soup can • sour cream rifle • snake • snapper slapper • snoz wanger • spackle hammer • spam dagger • spam javelin • spanky • spelunker • spelunking sausage • sperm burper • sperm spitter • spermin’ Herman • sperminator • spigot • spike bit • spitting python • spitting snake • split-ass mechanic • split-headed bishop • splooge moose • spongey-headed warrior • spoo shooter • sprout • spunk spitter • spunk stick • spunk trunk • spunker • Spurt Reynolds • squinty blowpop • squirmin’ Herman the one-eyed German • staff • staff of life • stain maker • stallion • standing Hampton • Stanley • Stanley the power tool • stick o’ salami • stick • stick shift • sticky shooter • stiff one-eye • stiff sausage • stiffy • stink hammer • stomach wrench • strawberry snake • stretchy and the twins • strumpet thumper • stubby • sugar stick • super schlong of love • suspect • sweet meat • swelling mushroom • swingin’ death • swingin’ Dick Nixon • swingin’ sirloin • swizzle stick • swollen blood bomber

taco warmer • tally whacker • tank slapper • tapioca sprinkler • tassle • teeter • Tennessee throat warmer • tent peg • tent pole • Texas trout banger • thadge navigator • thingamabob • thing(y) • third arm of justice • third leg • Thomas • Thor’s hammer • three-inch punisher • the Three’s Company • thrill drill • throat choker • throbbing blood sword • throbbing horse cock • throbbing purple pneumatic drill of love • throbbing purple spear of destiny • throbbing python of love • thumper • thunder stick • tickle tail • tickle Toby • tiddlywinker • tingler • Tinky Winky • tiny Elvis • Tiny Tim • titmouse • Tobias the cheeky monkey • Tom Jones • Tom Slick • Tonka • tonsil tickler • tool • tool of the patriarchy • torch of Cupid • totem pole • tower of power • tree of life • trembling torpedo • trombone • troublemaker • trouser flute • trouser hog • trouser Mauser • trouser mouse • trouser snake • trouser tortoise • trouser trombone • trouser trout • trout baster • tuba • tube steak • tummy banana • tummy buster • tuna baster • tuna fisher • the tunnel tickler • turgid member • turkey neck • turtle • twat expander • twat torquer • twat torpedo • twat washer • tweeder • twelve-inch train of pain • twenty-first digit • twig • twig’n’ berries • twig’n’ giggle berries • twinkie • twizzler of love • the two-legged sword • two pebbles and a twig • two pounds of swinging meat

ugly brother • ugly stick • Uncle Chunk • Uncle Dick • Uncle Reamus • Uncle Richard • Uncle Spunk • Uncle Throbby • Uncle Wiggly • unemployed • unit • upright citizen • upright organ • upright uncle • uterus unicorn

vagina miner • vaginal dilator • vaginal explorer • Vaseline machine gun • vein-laden meat pipe • vein-laden meat stick • veinous maximus • veiny bangstick • verga • vertical dangler • verve pipe • Viagra baby • vicious dink • virile member • Vlad the Impaler • vomit rod • vomiting dummy

wacker • Waldo • Wally • Wally the one-eyed wonder wiener • wand of light • wang • wanker • wanker spanker • war hammer • the waterspout • wazoo • wedding finger • wedding tackle • wedding wrecker • wedge bone • Ween • weenie • wee-wee • Wee Willy Winky • wee wonder stick • wenis • whamadoodle • whammy bar • whisker slitter • whistle • whistle stick • who-who • whopper • whore monger • whore pipe • whore thermometer • wicked scepter • widget • wiener • wife and kids • wife’s best friend • wife’s worst enemy • wigga wagga • wiggedy wang • wiggity wang • wiggle stick • wiggling worm • wilbert • Wilbur • Willard • Willy • Willy the one-eyed wonder worm • Willy Wonka • wing-wang • winkster • winky • Winky the milk-spitting tunnel ferret • wizard’s staff • wobbly warhead • womb broom • womb hammer • womb raider • womb scud • womb warrior • wonder down under • wonder weiner • wonder wick • wong • wonga • wood • woodle • woody • wookie • worm in a roll-neck pullover • Wormy McJuicemaker • wriggling pole • wrinklebeast

Xcaliber • XTC Stick

yam • yang • yard o’ beef • ying yang • yogurt shooter • yogurt slinger • Yul Brynner • yum-yum • yummy hummer

zamboner • Zamboni baloney • zapper wrench • zipper ripper • zipper trout • zipper wookie

Supplemental Materials

What is included with this book?

The New copy of this book will include any supplemental materials advertised. Please check the title of the book to determine if it should include any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.

The Used, Rental and eBook copies of this book are not guaranteed to include any supplemental materials. Typically, only the book itself is included. This is true even if the title states it includes any access cards, study guides, lab manuals, CDs, etc.