Marriage and Family: The Quest for Intimacy

by Lauer & Lauer

• ISBN13: 9780073271330
• ISBN10: 0073271330
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2010-06-08
• Publisher: Glencoe/McGraw-Hill
• More Book Details
• Purchase Benefits

Summary

Combining a positive and practical approach to the study of marriage and family life with a manageable amount of sociological theory and research citations, this text is centered on the theme of enhancing intimacy within marriage and the family. While providing a comprehensive overview of the progression from dating to marriage and family, the authors systematically draw out principles that students can use to protect and nurture their own intimate relationships, making this text a practical guide as well.

Table of Contents

PART l. THE CONTEXT OF INTIMACY

l. AMERICAN MYTHS AND DREAMS

Learning Objectives

Myths About Family Life

We've Lost the Extended Family

Opposites Attract

People Marry Because They Love Each Other

Having Children Increases Marital Satisfaction

A Good Sex Life Is the Best Predictor of Marital

Satisfaction

Happily Married People Dont Have Conflict

Half of All Marriages End In Divorce

The Dangers of Myths

Changing Patterns of Intimate Relationships

Premarital Sex

Births to Unmarried Women

Living Alone

COMPARISON

Asian Women Are Marrying at a Later Age

Cohabitation

Delayed Marriage

Birth Rates

Household Size

Employed Mothers

PERSONAL

I Had to Go to Work

Divorce

A Concluding Note On Changing Patterns

The Family in Utopia

The Family in Utopian Writings

The Family in Utopian Communities

What Works Best?

What Do We Want? What Do We Need?

The Great Debate

Changes in Traditional Arrangements

What Do You Think?

Me or We?

Strengths and Benefits of Marriage and Family

'Til Death?

A Note On Theory

Systems Theory

Exchange Theory

Symbolic Interaction Theory

Conflict Theory

Theory and Intimacy

Summary

Key Terms

INTERNET CONNECTION

American Myths and Dreams

2. DIVERSITY IN FAMILIES

Learning Objectives

The Variability of Family Life

Variations Between Societies

Variations Within Societies

The Single-Parent Family

Extent of Single-Parent Families

Challenges of the Single-Parent Family

COMPARISON

Single Parents In Iceland

The Successful Single-Parent Family

PERSONAL

I Chose To Do It Alone

Racial and Ethnic Minority Families

The African-American Family

The Hispanic Family

The Asian-American Family

The Interracial Family

Families With Same-Sex Parents

What Do You Think?

Problems In Gay and Lesbian Families

Intimacy In the Gay and Lesbian Family

Long-Term Gay and Lesbian Relationships

Summary

Principles for Enhancing Intimacy

Key Terms

INTERNET CONNECTION

Diversity in Families

3. GENDER ROLES: FOUNDATION FOR INTIMACY

Learning Objectives

Men and Women: How Do They Differ?

Men and Women: Some Commonalities

Gender Differences

Sex, Gender, Gender Role, and Gender-Role Orientation

Gender Roles

Gender-Role Orientation

What Do You Think?

Gender Roles: Nature Or Nurture?

How Much Is Biological?

The Importance Of Nurture

Socialization and Gender-Role Orientation

COMPARISON

Inuit Youth Learn To Be Males and Females

Changing Gender Roles and Orientations

Changing Patterns

Lingering Traditionalism

Gender-Role Orientation: What Difference Does It Make?

Communication

Self-Concept

Mental Health

Gender-Role Orientation and Intimacy

PERSONAL

We Worked It Out

Summary

Principles for Enhancing Intimacy

Key Terms

INTERNET CONNECTION

Gender Roles: Foundation for Intimacy

4. SEXUALITY

Learning Objectives

The Meaning of Sex

Heterosexuality and Homosexuality

Sex As Physical: The Response Cycle

Sex As Social Behavior

Unwanted and Coerced Sex

Sex and Intimate Relationships

PERSONAL

Sex and the Search for Intimacy

Teenage Sex

Extent of Sex Among Teenagers

Unwanted Pregnancy and Early Childbearing

Contraception

Amount and Kinds of Contraceptive Use

Who Uses Contraceptives

Abortion

What Do You Think?

Premarital Sex

The Double Standard

Changing Attitudes

Changing Behavior

Sex In Marriage

Sexual Practices in Marriage

Sexual Satisfaction and Marital Satisfaction

Changes in Marital Sex Over the Lifespan

Extramarital Sex

Why Extramarital Sex?

Some Consequences of Extramarital Sex

Sexual Diseases and Dysfunctions

Sexual Diseases

Sexual Dysfunctions

Inhibited Sexual Desire

Safe Sex

COMPARISON

Unsafe Sex In Lesotho

Summary

Principles for Enhancing Intimacy

Key Terms

INTERNET CONNECTION

Sexuality

PART 2. SEEKING INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS

5. GETTING TO KNOW SOMEONE ELSE

Learning Objectives

We Are Social Creatures

Loneliness

Fulfillment Through Intimacy

PERSONAL

Searching for Intimacy

The Nature of Intimacy

The Meaning of Intimacy

Intimacy as an Exchange Relationship

Intimacy as Self-Sustaining

Meeting and Getting to Know Others

First Impressions

What Do You Think?

What Attracts?

COMPARISON

Mexican and United States Teens Portray Their Ideals

About the Opposite Sex

Developing a Relationship

First Stage: Initial Meeting and Awareness

Second Stage: The Selection Process

Third Stage: Developing Intimacy

Fourth Stage: Maintaining or Dissolving the Relationship

Summary

Principles for Enhancing Intimacy

Key Terms

INTERNET CONNECTION

Getting to Know Someone Else

6. GETTING INVOLVED

Learning Objectives

Hanging Out and Hooking Up

Dating

Finding People To Date

Selecting a Dating Partner

Functions of Dating

Patterns of Dating

COMPARISON

Commitment to Dating Partners in theU.S. and Taiwan

Dating Problems

Moving Beyond Dating

Moving Into a More Permanent Relationship

Engagement

Cohabitation

What Do You Think?

Who Cohabits?

Patterns of Cohabitation

Cohabitation Compared to Marriage

Cohabitation as a Preparation for Marriage

Breaking Up

Who Breaks Up?

Responding to Deterioration

PERSONAL

The Birth, Life, and Death of a Relationship

Staying Single

Why People Are Single

Intimacy and Life Satisfaction

Summary

Principles for Enhancing Intimacy

Key Terms

INTERNET CONNECTION

Getting Involved

7. Falling In Love

Learning Objectives

The Meaning of Love

When You Fall In Love

The Process of Falling

How Can You Tell If It's Love?

PERSONAL

Falling in LoveTwice

Passionate Versus Companionate Love

The Emergence of Passionate Love

The Experience of Passionate Love

From Passionate Love To Companionate Love

What Do You Think?

Loving and Liking

Rubin's Love Scale

Love and Friendship

A Triangular Theory of Love

Styles of Loving

Six Types of Lovers

Implications of Differing Styles of Loving

Love Threatened--Jealousy

Who Is Most Jealous?

COMPARISON

Jealousy Among the Italians, Dutch, and New Guineans

Situations That Provoke Jealousy

Consequences of Jealousy

Summary

Principles for Enhancing Intimacy

Key Terms

INTERNET CONNECTION

Falling in Love

8. Selecting A Life Partner

Learning Objectives

Is There a Best Way To Select a Life Partner?

What We Expect In a Life Partner

COMPARISON

Looking for a Mate in India

Qualities Desired in a Life Partner

Exchange and Equity

Narrowing the Field: Assortative Mating

Life Partner Selection as a Filtering Process

Age

Ethnic Background

Race

Religion

Education

Personality

And So Forth

Why Assortative Mating?

Predictors of Marital Satisfaction

Timing

PERSONAL

Should I Marry My Babys Father?

Equity

What Do You Think?

Communication

PREPARE: A Multi-Factor Approach

A Final Caution

Summary

Principles for Enhancing Intimacy

Key Terms

INTERNET CONNECTION

Selecting a Life Partner

PART 3. THE INTIMATE COUPLE

9. GETTING MARRIED

Learning Objectives

What Are Your Chances of Getting Married?

Marital Status of the Population

Who Does, and Doesn't, Marry?

Why Do People Marry?

The Need for Intimacy

Social Expectations

What Do You Think?

Social Ideals and Personal Fulfillment

Desire for Children

Marriage as a Practical Solution

Types of Marriage

Classified by Lifestyles

Classified by Nature of the Relationships

COMPARISON

Types of Marriage in Togo

Expectations

Our Private Contracts

Role Expectations

Negotiation: Changing Personal Contracts

The Marriage Contract: Clarifying Expectations

Adjusting To Marriage

His Marriage and Her Marriage

Starting With Two Strikes

Establishing Equity and Consensus

Adjustment and In-Law Relationships

First Year Changes

PERSONAL

In-Laws: The Good and the Bad

Commitment

The Meaning of Commitment

The Role of Commitment

Building Commitment

Summary

Principles for Enhancing Intimacy

Key Terms

INTERNET CONNECTION

Getting Married

10. THE CHALLENGE OF COMMUNICATION

Learning Objectives

The Nature of Communication

Verbal Communication

Nonverbal Communication

Communication as an Interaction Process

A Discussion About Sex

Communication Static

Communicating Feelings

Listening

Styles of Poor Listening

Improving Listening Skills

Impediments To Communication

Destructive Messages

What Do You Think?

Gender Differences As An Impediment

Why Husbands and Wives Don't Talk To Each Other

Satisfying Communication

PERSONAL

All the Talk Was Useless

Communication, Marital Satisfaction, and Intimacy

Everyday Conversations

Self-Disclosure

COMPARISON

Couple Talk in Brisbane and Munich

Other Aspects of Communication

Improving Communication Skills

Rules

Practice

Summary

Principles for Enhancing Intimacy

Key Terms

INTERNET CONNECTION

The Challenge of Communication

11. POWER AND CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE

Learning Objectives

Power In Marriage

The Meaning of Power

Why Is Power Important?

Sources of Power

COMPARISON

The Power of Egyptian Husbands and Wives

What Do You Think?

Marriage as a Power Struggle

Types of Power Interaction

Conflict In Marriage

The Positive Functions of Conflict

The Negative Consequences of Severe Conflict

What People Fight About

Sources of Tension

Styles of Conflict

Good Fighting

Maintain Your Perspective

PERSONAL

Learning How to Fight

Develop Tension Outlets

Avoid Festering Resentment

Be Sensitive To Timing

Communicate Without Ceasing

Be Flexible, Willing To Compromise

Use Conflict To Attack Problems, Not Your Spouse

Keep Loving While You Are Fighting

Summary

Principles for Enhancing Intimacy

Key Terms

INTERNET CONNECTION

Power and Conflict in Marriage

l2. Work And Home

Learning Objectives

His Work and Her Work

Changing Patterns of Working

Women In the Labor Force

Married Women and Employment

Types of Dual-Career Families

Why Women Work Outside the Home

Home Versus the Workplace

Challenges of Dual-Income Families

More Or Less Equal?

Who's Minding The House?

COMPARISONS

Household Tasks and Equity in China

Children and the Challenge of Child Care

The Costs of Both Parents Working

What Do You Think?

Time Management

Role Negotiation

Satisfactions of Dual-Income Families

Marital Satisfaction

Other Benefits

PERSONAL

Employed and Married, and Loving Both

Work and Well-Being

Life Satisfaction

Mental and Physical Health

Coping Strategies

Summary

Principles for Enhancing Intimacy

Key terms

INTERNET CONNECTION

Work and Home

PART 4. INTIMACY IN FAMILIES

l3. BECOMING A PARENT

Learning Objectives

Changing Patterns of Child-Bearing

Birth Rates

Preferences For Size and Sex

To Bear Or Not To Bear

Why People Want To Have Children

The Child-Free Option

PERSONAL

To Be a Parent? The Agonies of the Decision

Involuntary Childlessness

Infertility

Coping With Infertility

Options For the Infertile

Artificial Insemination

In Vitro Fertilization

Surrogate Mothers

Adoption

What Do You Think?

Children and the Quality of Life

The Stresses of Raising Children

Children and Marital Satisfaction

The Satisfactions of Raising Children

Parenting: Her Experience and His Experience

Her Experience

His Experience

COMPARISONS

On the Playground in France, Germany, and Italy

Parenting and the Well-Being of Children

Styles of Parenting

Types of Discipline

Parental Behavior and Childrens Adjustment

Parental Behavior and Self-Esteem

A Final Note: Is Older Better In Parenting?

Summary

Principles for Enhancing Intimacy

Key Terms

INTERNET CONNECTION

Becoming a Parent

14. THE FAMILY LIFE CYCLE

Learning Objectives

The Family Life Cycle

The Meaning of the Family Life Cycle

What Changes Over the Family LIfe Cycle?

Social Change and the Family Life Cycle

The Newly Married: A Family Without Children

What Do You Think?

The Family With Young Children

The Family At Midlife: Adolescents and Aging Parents

The Needs of Adolescents

Parent-Child Problems

Emerging Adulthood

Caring For Aging Parents

The Couples' Midlife Concerns

Satisfaction at Midlife

The Launching and Empty Nest Stage

The Couple Together Again

PERSONAL

An Empty-Nest High

Grandparenthood

The Aging Family

Retirement

Marital Relations

COMPARISON

Caring for Elderly Family Members on Malo

Other Relationships

Death of a Spouse

Summary

Principles for Enhancing Intimacy

Key Terms

INTERNET CONNECTION

The Family Life Cycle

PART 5. CHALLENGES TO INTIMACY

15. FAMILY CRISES

Learning Objectives

Sources of Family Crises

Stress and Crisis

Stressor Events

Abuse of Alcohol and Other Drugs In the Family

Extent of Drug Abuse

Drug Abuse and the Quality of Family Life

Family Problems and Drug Abuse

Violence In Families

The Extent of Violence

Child Abuse

Incest

Spouse Abuse

What Do You Think?

Parent Abuse

COMPARISON

Intimate Partner Abuse in Canada

Consequences of Abuse

Reacting To Crises

Coping Patterns

Ineffective Coping Patterns

The Foundation of Effective Coping

Tools For Effective Coping

PERSONAL

Things Were Terribly Still

Summary

Principles for Enhancing Intimacy

Key Terms

INTERNET CONNECTION

Family Crisis

16. SEPARATION AND DIVORCE

Learning Objectives

Divorce Trends

Divorce Rates

Changing Grounds For Divorce

What Do You Think?

The Process of Uncoupling

Toward Marital Dissolution

The Six Stations of Divorce

Causes and Correlates of Divorce

Sociodemographic Factors

Interpersonal Factors

COMPARISONS

Divorce, Japanese Style

Effects of Divorce on Spouses/Parents

Positive Outcomes

Health Problems

Financial Problems

PERSONAL

My Whole World Was Lost

Interaction Between Former Spouses

Effects of Divorce On Children

Short-Term Effects

Long-Term Effects

Gender Differences

Child Custody

Coping With the Disruption

Summary

Principles for Enhancing Intimacy

Key Terms

INTERNET CONNECTION

Separation and Divorce

17. REMARRIAGE AND STEPFAMILIES

Learning Objectives

Types and Number of Remarriages and Stepfamilies

Types of Remarried Couples

Demographics of Remarriage and Stepfamilies

Deja Vu: Dating and Mate Selection Revisited

Why Remarry?

Issues In Recoupling

The Myths of Remarriage

The Challenges of Remarriage

PERSONAL

My Husband's First Wife Is Straining My Marriage

The Quality of Remarried Life

COMPARISONS

Repartnering in Australia

Living In a Stepfamily

What Do You Think?

The Stepfamily Life Cycle

The Structure of the Stepfamily

Stepparents and Stepchildren

Family Functioning

Making It Work

Summary

Principles for Enhancing Intimacy

Key Terms

INTERNET CONNECTION

Remarriage and Stepfamilies

Glossary

References

Credits

Index