Giving From the Heart: The Heart of Nonviolent Communication | p. 1 |
Introduction | p. 1 |
A way to focus attention | p. 3 |
The NVC model | p. 6 |
Applying NVC in our lives and world | p. 7 |
NVC In Action--"Murder, Assassin, Child-killer!" | p. 12 |
Communication That Blocks Compassion | p. 15 |
Moralistic judgments | p. 15 |
Making comparisons | p. 18 |
Denial of responsibility | p. 19 |
Other forms of life-alienating communication | p. 22 |
Observing Without Evaluating | p. 25 |
The highest form of human intelligence | p. 29 |
NVC In Action--"The most arrogant speaker we've ever had!" | p. 33 |
Exercise 1 | p. 35 |
Identifying and Expressing Feelings | p. 37 |
The heavy cost of unexpressed feelings | p. 38 |
Feelings versus non-feelings | p. 42 |
Building a vocabulary for feelings | p. 44 |
Exercise 2 | p. 48 |
Taking Responsibility for Our Feelings | p. 51 |
Hearing a negative message: four options | p. 51 |
The needs at the roots of feelings | p. 55 |
The pain of expressing our needs versus the pain of not expressing our needs | p. 58 |
From emotional slavery to emotional liberation | p. 60 |
NVC In Action--"Bring back the stigma of illegitimacy!" | p. 65 |
Exercise 3 | p. 69 |
Requesting That Which Would Enrich Life | p. 71 |
Using positive action language | p. 71 |
Making requests consciously | p. 76 |
Asking for a reflection | p. 78 |
Requesting honesty | p. 80 |
Making requests of a group | p. 81 |
Requests versus demands | p. 83 |
Defining our objective when making requests | p. 85 |
NVC In Action--Sharing fears about a best friend's smoking | p. 91 |
Exercise 4 | p. 94 |
Receiving Empathically | p. 97 |
Presence: Don't just do something, stand there | p. 97 |
Listening for feelings and needs | p. 100 |
Paraphrasing | p. 102 |
Sustaining empathy | p. 109 |
When pain blocks our ability to empathize | p. 110 |
NVC In Action--A wife connects with her dying husband | p. 112 |
Exercise 5 | p. 116 |
The Power of Empathy | p. 119 |
Empathy that heals | p. 119 |
Empathy and the ability to be vulnerable | p. 121 |
Using empathy to defuse danger | p. 123 |
Empathy in hearing someone's "No!" | p. 127 |
Empathy to revive a lifeless conversation | p. 128 |
Empathy for silence | p. 129 |
Expressing Anger Fully | p. 135 |
Distinguishing stimulus from cause | p. 136 |
All anger has a life-serving core | p. 138 |
Stimulus versus cause: practical implications | p. 139 |
Four steps to expressing anger | p. 142 |
Offering empathy first | p. 143 |
Taking our time | p. 146 |
NVC In Action--Parent and teen dialog a life-threatening issue | p. 148 |
The Protective Use of Force | p. 155 |
When the use of force is unavoidable | p. 155 |
The thinking behind the use of force | p. 155 |
Types of punitive force | p. 157 |
The costs of punishment | p. 158 |
Two questions that reveal the limitations of punishment | p. 159 |
The protective use of force in schools | p. 160 |
Liberating Ourselves and Counseling Others | p. 165 |
Freeing ourselves from old programming | p. 165 |
Resolving internal conflicts | p. 166 |
Dream-killing language | p. 167 |
Caring for our inner environment | p. 169 |
Replacing diagnosis with NVC | p. 170 |
NVC In Action--Dealing with resentments and self-judgment | p. 176 |
Expressing Appreciation in Nonviolent Communication | p. 181 |
The intention behind the appreciation | p. 181 |
The three components of appreciation | p. 182 |
Receiving appreciation | p. 184 |
The hunger for appreciation | p. 186 |
Overcoming the reluctance to express appreciation | p. 188 |
Epilogue | p. 190 |
The Nonviolent Communication Model | p. 193 |
Bibliography | p. 194 |
About the Mission of CNVC | p. 197 |
NVC Worldwide Training: Contact Information | p. 199 |
About the Author | p. 201 |
Index | p. 203 |
Materials Order Form | p. 210 |
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