The Only Child How to Survive Being One

by Pitkeathley, Jill; Emerson, David

• ISBN13: 9780285631489
• ISBN10: 0285631489
• Format: Paperback
• Copyright: 2011-09-01
• Publisher: Souvenir Press

Summary

Addressing the advantages and disadvantages of being an only child, this consideration discusses how growing up in a single-child family affects a child's attitudes, relationships, and future. The study draws on the experiences of a wide range of children without siblings, exploring the difficulties they are faced with and how, as adults, they have learned to cope with these problems. At a time when couples are increasingly limiting their families to one son or daughter, this survey answers a pressing and growing need, making it essential for any parent or partner of an only child.

Author Biography

Jill Pitkeathley is a Baroness in the House of Lords and the former director of the Carers National Association in the UK. She is the author of Age Gap Relationships, Cassandra and Jane, and Dearest Cousin Jane. David Emerson is currently the chief executive of the Association of Charitable Foundations in the UK. He is a former actor, lecturer, and rural community worker.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements	p. v
Introduction	p. 1
The only-child identity	p. 4
Who is an only child?	p. 5
About Being an only Child
Being Everything	p. 13
All the responsibility	p. 15
All the expectations	p. 26
All the blame	p. 40
All the attention	p. 46
All the goodies	p. 55
Rough and Tumble	p. 60
The need for space	p. 63
Problems with sharing	p. 67
Keeping secrets	p. 69
Teasing, gullibility and illusions	p. 71
Conflict and resolution	p. 72
Self-image	p. 77
Rather late in the day	p. 79
Through parents' eyes only	p. 81
Difficulties in evaluating	p. 85
You mean I'm not the centre of the world?	p. 88
Teenage rebellion	p. 91
Transformations	p. 95
Social Maturity	p. 100
The process	p. 102
The pattern	p. 109
Always Alone	p. 124
When do only children feel alone?	p. 126
Coping as a child	p. 136
Coping as an adult	p. 143
The Triangle: A Summary	p. 152
Family interactions	p. 153
Where is the power?	p. 155
'Two's company, but three's a crowd	p. 155
The Survival Guide
Relationships, and How to Survive Them	p. 162
The Only Child and Friends	p. 178
The rules of engagement	p. 178
Substitute friends	p. 180
Making friends at school	p. 182
A certain isolation	p. 184
Stratagems and tactics	p. 187
Achieving a balance	p. 188
The Only Child at Work	p. 194
The high achiever	p. 195
Criticism and competition	p. 196
Having to be everything	p. 198
Office politics	p. 202
Fitting into the group	p. 203
The Only Child as Carer	p. 208
Preparation	p. 211
Communication	p. 214
Negotiation	p. 216
Expectation	p. 217
Celebrations	p. 220
A Ten-point Survival Plan	p. 228
For Partners and New Parents
Partners	p. 235
Their own space	p. 239
Sharing time	p. 240
Fear of closeness	p. 243
Emotional immaturity	p. 246
Self, self, self	p. 249
Children?	p. 250
Anger	p. 252
An overdeveloped sense of responsibility	p. 253
Family life	p. 254
Hints for New Parents of an Only Child	p. 257
Cherish the childhood	p. 260
Compensate, but not too much	p. 262
Don't make an ally of your child	p. 268
They can't be everything	p. 269
Conclusion	p. 272
Index	p. 275
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