Raising Our Children to Be Resilient: A Guide to Helping Children Cope with Trauma in Today's World

by Goldman; Linda

• ISBN13: 9780415949064
• ISBN10: 0415949068
• Edition: 1st
• Format: Nonspecific Binding
• Copyright: 2004-12-27
• Publisher: Routledge

Summary

Today's children cannot avoid a constant stream of images and accounts of frightening events. Wars, terrorist attacks, school shootings and the threat of nuclear and biological attacks are all over the radio, television and Internet. While not all of these dangers are unique to the twenty-first century, the constant presence of media images and reports exposes children to suffering and trauma in a way not experienced by earlier generations. Moreover, our increasingly fast-pasted and fragmented lifestyles inevitably subject children to confusing and destabilizing events such as divorce, abandonment and change of household. Additionally, today's children must adapt to harsher and more dangerous forms of bullying and abuse by their peers and struggle to understand issues of sexual and gender identification. In this timely and much-needed book, Linda Goldman addresses the many frightening events that impact our children by providing the reader with a seamless mixture of theory and practice garnered fromher extensive experience in the field.Raising Our Children To Be Resilientincludes trauma resolution techniques and case studies, discussions of the respective roles played by parents, teachers and the larger community as well as additional resources for those in a position to help children who have been traumatized. The goal ofRaising Our Children To Be Resilientis exactly what its title promises: to help children through their pain and confusion and guide them into a flexible and compassionate adulthood.

Author Biography

Linda Goldman has taught on the adjunct faculty of Johns Hopkins University Graduate School and the University of Maryland School of Social Work.

Table of Contents

Foreword	xvii
Acknowledgments	xix
Introduction	xxi
PART I Grief and Trauma: The Impact on Children
CHAPTER 1 Children Living in a Complex World	3	(22)
Grief, Trauma, and Their Many Complications	5	(1)
Grief Defined	5	(1)
Children's Developmental Understandings of Death	6	(2)
Pre-Operational Stage (Usually 2 to 7)	6	(1)
Concrete Operations Stage (Usually 7 to 12)	7	(1)
Prepositional Operations, Implications, and Logic Stage (Age 13 and Older)	8	(1)
The Nature of Children's Grief	8	(2)
Children's Connection with the Deceased	9	(1)
Children and Magical Thinking	10	(1)
Children's Losses	10	(1)
Common Signs of Grieving Children	11	(1)
Trauma, Terrorism, and Fear	12	(2)
The Nature of Trauma	13	(1)
Traumatic Loss	14	(1)
Signs of Trauma in Children	15	(2)
The Vulnerability of Children	17	(5)
Predictors of Vulnerability	18	(4)
Conclusion: Research Supports Early Intervention	22	(3)
CHAPTER 2 Traumatic Events in a Complex World: Terrorism, War, SARS, Random Violence, and More	25	(24)
Talking to Children About Complex Events	27	(2)
Understanding Children's Reactions to Trauma	27	(1)
Clarifying Young Children's Misconceptions: Terrorism and 9/11	27	(2)
Sharing Feelings: SARS, A Contagious Disease	29	(1)
Responding to Traumatized Children	30	(8)
Creating Words to Use	30	(2)
Establishing Dialogue	32	(2)
Preparing Children for Dialogue	34	(1)
Accepting Children's Reactions	35	(1)
Asking Children Questions	36	(1)
Children and Anticipatory Grief	37	(1)
Re-triggering the Trauma	38	(3)
Re-triggering Trauma Through Media Exposure	39	(1)
Re-triggering Trauma Through Daily Events	40	(1)
Children's Voices	41	(4)
The Voices of Young Children	41	(1)
Middle School Voices	42	(2)
Teenage Voices	44	(1)
Ways to Help Children During Trauma	45	(1)
Reassuring Children	45	(1)
Dialoging About Everyday Risks	46	(1)
Monitoring Media	46	(1)
Becoming Role Models	47	(1)
Conclusion	48	(1)
CHAPTER 3 Bullying and Victimization: A Deadly Disease and Invisible Killer	49	(38)
Bullying, Victimization, and Unresolved Grief in Children	51	(3)
Adult Modeling	51	(1)
Facts About Bullies and Victims	52	(2)
Taking Action Against Bullying	54	(2)
Bullying, Power, and Control	54	(1)
Kids and Popularity	55	(1)
Adult Involvement	55	(1)
Bullying in Our Schools	56	(1)
Special Issues for Girls	57	(5)
A Journal About Bullying: Margaret's Story	58	(4)
Victims' Voices	62	(1)
Bullys' Voices	63	(1)
Onlookers' Voices	63	(1)
Adults' Voices	64	(1)
Ways to Help Children with Bullying	64	(2)
Define Bullying	65	(1)
Bullying Behaviors	66	(1)
Adult Guidelines	67	(10)
Listen Carefully and Document	68	(1)
Create Strong Guidelines	68	(1)
Create Harassment and Violence Policies for Schools	69	(1)
Emphasize and Model Democratic Values	69	(1)
Teach Positive Conflict Resolution Ideas and Skills	69	(1)
Emphasize the Power of the Onlooker	70	(1)
Strategies for Helping Bullies	71	(5)
Ways Kids Can Help Themselves	76	(1)
Interventions for Victims, Bullies, and Onlookers	77	(5)
Adult Strategies for Bullying	82	(1)
Conclusion	83	(1)
Resources	84	(3)
Resources for Students on Bullying	84	(1)
Bullying Curriculums for Educators	85	(1)
Resources for Adults on Bullying	85	(2)
CHAPTER 4 School Violence: No Place to Feel Safe	87	(30)
School Shootings: Bullying and Hidden Rage	89	(1)
Friends Knew and Didn't Tell	89	(1)
Adults Knew and Didn't Help	90	(1)
Bullying and Victimization: Youth Violence	90	(4)
Warning Signs of Violence in Children	91	(1)
Projective Techniques for Anger Management	92	(1)
Children, Teens, and Guns	93	(1)
Children Witnessing School Violence	94	(2)
The Effect of Witnessing Trauma on Development	95	(1)
Random Acts of Violence: A School Shooting	96	(9)
Teachable Moments	97	(1)
Class Meeting: Grade 2	98	(1)
Model for Class Meeting Surrounding Trauma	99	(5)
An Eighth-Grade Boys' Guidance Group: Reaction to Violence	104	(1)
Gangs and School Violence: A Special Issue	105	(6)
What Makes a Gang Attractive?	106	(1)
Diminishing Gang Power	106	(1)
Signs of Gang Membership	107	(1)
Why Join a Gang?	107	(1)
Tookie's Story	108	(1)
Preventing School Shootings: A Summary of the U.S. Secret Service Safe Schools Initiative Report, 2002	109	(1)
Findings of the Report	109	(1)
Recommendations in the Report	110	(1)
Conclusion	111	(1)
Resources	112	(5)
For Educators on School Violence	112	(1)
For Children and Teens on School Violence	113	(1)
On Gang Violence	113	(4)
PART II Working With Kids and Trauma: Home, School, Community
CHAPTER 5 Trauma Resolution Techniques: Helping Our Kids Succeed	117	(32)
Children Feeling Safe in Today's World	119	(1)
Activities That Help Kids Tell and Retell Their Story	119	(18)
Children Tell Stories Through Drawing	120	(1)
Teens Tell Their Stories	121	(1)
Projective Play	121	(2)
Post-Traumatic Play	123	(1)
Puppets, Music, and Dream Work	124	(1)
Memory Work	125	(1)
Memory Boxes	126	(1)
Telling the Story	127	(2)
Drawing Pictures	129	(1)
Repetitive Thoughts, Jittery Feelings, Fears, and Scary Places	130	(6)
Writing Letters	136	(1)
Poetry and Creative Writing	137	(1)
Activities That Help Kids Feel Safe	137	(4)
Suggestions for Kids To Help Themselves	141	(4)
Help Children Deal with Trauma	145	(1)
Conclusion	145	(1)
Resources for Children on Trauma	146	(3)
CHAPTER 6 School Systems Respond to Crisis	149	(20)
Children and War	151	(1)
The School Responds	151	(5)
Children's Voices About War	151	(3)
Classroom Discussions	154	(2)
Deployment and Loss	156	(2)
A School System Accommodates Deployment	156	(2)
Prejudice, Racism, and Power	158	(3)
Class Discussions: a Lesson on Wisdom	159	(1)
Helping Each Other During Trauma	160	(1)
Peer Mentors	161	(1)
Peer Groups	162	(1)
Studying Past Cultures and Trauma	163	(1)
Video Conferencing	164	(1)
Resources	164	(5)
For Educators	164	(1)
For Children on War, Prejudice, and History	165	(4)
PART III Coming Together to Create Change
CHAPTER 7 Parenting Through a Crisis, Preparing for the Future	169	(20)
Providing a Strong Foundation	171	(1)
Children Are Survivors of Traumatic Events	171	(12)
Establish a Sense of Order	171	(1)
Establish Family Activities	172	(2)
Initiate Safe Places to Express Feelings	174	(1)
Reinforce Values	175	(1)
Maintain a Sense of Humor	176	(1)
Give Comfort: Hugs and Food	177	(1)
Practice Mature Modeling	177	(1)
Monitor Television	178	(1)
Discuss Daily Risks	179	(1)
Create Teachable Moments	180	(1)
Prepare a Family Disaster Plan	181	(1)
Stress to Children That They Are Survivors	182	(1)
Patriotism in a Global Community	183	(1)
Parents As Mentors	184	(1)
Parenting Immigrant Children	185	(1)
Involve Children in Solutions	185	(2)
Emphasize the Enormous Outreach	187	(1)
Conclusion	187	(1)
Resources	188	(1)
For Children	188	(1)
For Adults	188	(1)
CHAPTER 8 Educators at Work: Meeting the Challenge of Traumatic Events	189	(26)
School Involvement with Trauma	191	(1)
Responding to 9/11: a Student Grieves	191	(5)
The Impact of Images	192	(1)
Daily Counseling Sessions	192	(1)
Sharing Feelings	192	(1)
Finding Out the Facts	193	(1)
Parent Involvement	194	(1)
Memory Work	195	(1)
School Systems Cope with Trauma	196	(6)
A Wall of Thoughts	196	(1)
Class Discussions on Bravery, Honor, Prejudice, and War	197	(1)
Poster Contest	198	(1)
Fundraising	199	(3)
School Activities for Helping and Healing	202	(3)
Homework Assignments: Emergency Planning	202	(1)
Personal Tributes	202	(1)
Student Involvement	202	(1)
School Book Ventures	203	(1)
Memorial Projects	204	(1)
Schools Provide Child Trauma Information to Community	205	(5)
Suggestions to Help Traumatized Students	206	(1)
School Systems and Emergency Planning	207	(1)
Research on Student and Teacher Reactions to 9/11	208	(1)
Research Conclusions	209	(1)
At-Risk Children	210	(3)
Identifying Children at Risk	211	(2)
Conclusion: The Responsibility of Educators	213	(1)
Resources	214	(1)
For Children on 9/11	214	(1)
For Educators	214	(1)
CHAPTER 9 Community Action: From Fear to Freedom	215	(24)
Responsibility of a Community-Based Outreach Program	217	(2)
Tragedy Assistance Program for the Military	219	(12)
Children's Outreach	219	(1)
Grief Support Camp	219	(1)
Honor Guards As Mentors	220	(1)
Peer Mentors	221	(1)
Memory Activities	222	(1)
The Umbrella Project	223	(2)
Balloon Release	225	(1)
Children's Voices: Letters to TAPS	225	(4)
Family Community Outreach	229	(2)
Activities To Help Children Participate in World Events	231	(3)
Archiving Children's Artifacts After 9/11	234	(3)
Resources for Adults About Community Tragedy	237	(2)
CHAPTER 10 Enhancing Resiliency in Children	239	(38)
What Is Resilience?	241	(1)
Resilience and Youth	241	(2)
Adults As Models	243	(1)
Keys to Resilient Children	243	(13)
Choice	244	(1)
Optimism	245	(1)
Courage	245	(1)
Realistic Goals	245	(1)
Humor	246	(1)
Self-Confidence	246	(1)
Appreciation of Self	247	(2)
Acceptance and Comfort	249	(1)
Processing Life Through Productive Action	249	(2)
Creativity	251	(1)
Spirituality	252	(2)
Service	254	(2)
Making a Difference: Mara's Story	256	(5)
Optimism	256	(1)
Perseverance	256	(1)
Parent Modeling	257	(1)
Insightfulness	257	(2)
Empathy	259	(1)
Sociability	259	(1)
Community Support	259	(2)
Models Promoting Resilience	261	(5)
Model Empathy	261	(1)
Offer Appreciation and Encouragement	261	(1)
Become an Advocate	262	(1)
Enhance Flexibility and Learning from Past Experience	263	(1)
Promote Self-Discipline	263	(1)
Support Opportunities to Become Responsible	263	(1)
Offer Inspiring Resources	264	(1)
Create Generational Family Role Models	265	(1)
Activities to Promote Resiliency	266	(3)
Signs of a Resilient Child	269	(2)
Conclusion	271	(3)
Resources	274	(3)
For Children on Resiliency	274	(3)
PART IV Resources and Information
CHAPTER 11 Oases of Safety: National Resources That Help	277	(14)
Organizations	278	(7)
For Grief and Trauma	278	(1)
For Children's Issues	279	(1)
For Disaster	280	(1)
For Schools	280	(1)
For Parenting	281	(1)
For Mentoring	281	(1)
For Resilience	282	(1)
For the Military	282	(1)
For Trauma and Violent Death	282	(1)
For Gangs	283	(1)
For Suicide	284	(1)
Support Groups	285	(2)
Hotlines	286	(1)
Crisis Lines	286	(1)
Internet Resources	287	(2)
On Death and Trauma for Children and Teens	287	(1)
On Education	288	(1)
On Bullying	288	(1)
On Gangs	288	(1)
On Resilience	288	(1)
On Grief	289	(1)
On Service	289	(1)
Book Services	289	(2)
CHAPTER 12 Topics, Trends, and Timely Information: Annotated Bibliography	291	(40)
Resources for Adults	292	(9)
On Trauma	292	(1)
On Death and Dying	293	(2)
On Suicide	295	(1)
On Homicide and Violent Death	296	(1)
On Bullying	297	(1)
On Aggression	297	(1)
On Resilience	297	(1)
On Education	298	(1)
On Parenting	299	(1)
On Counseling and Therapy	299	(1)
On Philosophy	300	(1)
CD-ROMS	301	(1)
Curricula	301	(3)
On Bullying	301	(1)
On Violence	302	(1)
On Suicide	302	(1)
On Therapeutic Techniques	302	(1)
On Divorce	303	(1)
On Death and Crisis in the Schools	303	(1)
On Peace in the Classroom	303	(1)
On Anger and Stress Management	304	(1)
On Resilience	304	(1)
Guides for Grief Support Groups	304	(3)
Videos	305	(1)
Tapes	306	(1)
Resources for Children and Teens	307	(24)
On Death for Children	307	(1)
On Death for Teens	308	(1)
On Trauma	309	(1)
On a Parent Dying	309	(1)
On Hospice	309	(1)
On the Death of a Parent	310	(1)
On Sibling Death	311	(1)
On a Friend's Death	312	(1)
On the Death of a Grandparent	313	(1)
On Pet Death	313	(1)
On Cremation	313	(1)
On Funerals and Memorial Services	314	(1)
Workbooks About Death	315	(1)
On Life Cycles and Spirituality	315	(1)
On Depressed Parents	316	(1)
On Suicide	316	(1)
On Violence and Murder	317	(1)
On Bullying	318	(1)
On War	319	(1)
On 9/11	319	(1)
On the Holocaust	319	(1)
On Drugs	320	(1)
On Media Input	320	(1)
On Prejudice	320	(1)
On Weight Disorders and Eating Problems	321	(1)
On Foster Homes and Abandonment	321	(1)
On Homelessness	321	(1)
On Sexual Abuse	322	(1)
On Sexual Issues	322	(1)
On Violence in the Home	323	(1)
On Gangs	323	(1)
On Immigration	324	(1)
On Moving	324	(1)
On Divorce	324	(1)
On Natural Disaster	325	(1)
On Magical Thinking	325	(1)
On Feelings	326	(1)
On Perfectionism	327	(1)
On Stress	327	(1)
On Nightmares	327	(1)
On Family	328	(1)
On Resilience	328	(1)
On Service	328	(1)
On Affirmations and Meditations	329	(1)
On Empowerment	329	(1)
On Hope and Optimism	330	(1)
On Peace	330	(1)
References	331	(6)
About the Author	337	(2)
Index	339