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When Dr. Farrell began teaching couples’ communication 30 years ago, he taught the wisdom of not being defensive in response to criticism. However, when a couple returned home and a criticism inevitably appeared, that wisdom disappeared. Couples needed to not just be taught this, but to practice both in the workshop and at home.
With the help of decades of post-workshop feedback from real couples, Farrell perfected six mindsets that the couples found most effective to embrace criticism as an opportunity to feel more deeply loved—even while they are being criticized. Role Mate to Soul Mate guides couples on how to do this for two hours per week as a “Caring and Sharing Practice.” For the other 166 hours, couples create a “Conflict-Free Zone” the other 166 hours, which requires preventing criticisms from becoming conflicts.
To do this, you’ll learn how to:
- Appreciate your loved one with five levels of specificity, both creatively and consistently
- Transform the “Four Depleters of Love” (Criticisms, Complaining, Complacency, and Controlling) into ways to deepen love
- Master the eleven “Soulmate Wisdoms”
- Play together, because “couples that play together stay together”
- Create win-win solutions to your stickiest problems
- Apply your new skills to family, friends, colleagues—and even political opponents
Since falling in love is natural but sustaining love is unnatural, making these skills come naturally requires an evolutionary shift that is both an art and a discipline. The Role Mate to Soul Mate reward? A deeper, dynamic, and lifelong love.
